Can’t decide whether to resign

Sorry to say this LibbyR but nobody is indispensable, take your sick leave as advised by your Dr. It is down to your managers to support your assistant or put in a temporary replacement. You should not resign, you have already put in a lot of service and should not lose the benefits of this. Hope things get better for you soon.

Take the time off! Take it soon! The Doctors will manage. It's not for you to Nanny them. Take the time before your assistant does & muddies the water. It's not your problem what issues she has with staff. Like someone up list has said, if you resign after 3 weeks nobody will remember you! No-one is indespensible. You need the rest & head space. Life's too short.

Take time off reevaluate and don’t give in to your assistant. That’s blackmail. You’ve said yourself your job is who you are don’t give it up until you have thought things out. A little time away and then you’ll know exactly what you want to do. Sending you virtual hugs.

Think of yourself, take time out, as your GP has advised, I wouldn’t resign, but you are saying you are battling on but you are feeling resentful and battered, listen to your body

I just thought I’d update you - after a long hard period of deliberation I decided that retirement was my best option. I feel sad that I’ve given up and a bit let down by the partners however as someone said, none of us are indispensable. I have given a very long notice period and will be training up my replacement so can leave with a clear conscience. Roll on September! I will have the rest of the year off and if I decide retirement isn’t for me I will get a part time job or sign up with an agency so I can pick and choose when I work. I feel so much better for having made a decision and I really appreciated the different points of view from everyone who took the time to read my post and to comment, thank you all. From September I’m sure I’ll be contributing more to the forum. At the moment I read and run most of the time as I’m so pushed for time.

If I were you I would do as your Dr. suggests and go off sick. When you have your sickness certificate I would tell the doctors you are now on sick leave and say that you are concerned because unfortunately your assistant is not up to standing in for you. They might want to advertise for a temporary manager but that's really up to them because what happens in your absence should not be be your concern. You need to concentrate on getting better. If after a period of leave you decide to return and you don't like it you could apply elsewhere or take retirement.

Am in a similar situation Libby R...I've a line manager who has belittled my work product which is untrue as had to learn new IT system while at home on lockdown and had no real support when requested..this has triggered my anxiety into panic mode and now signed off with depression...turned 65 yesterday and have my weekly GP review on phone. later..feel bullied at work but this has been ongoing for months and management have failed to address this...you shouldn't feel you have to resign but i fully understand and empathise .. you need to do what YOU feel is the best for you..i have to stay another year as my pension pot was only started few years ago as have had multiple health probs and reduced my work hours to 21...hope you're ALL having a better day!

I am glad you are retiring from what you say your job has taken over your life and made you ill. I hope you enjoy your freedom goodluck?

Presumably you have a line manager. Can you not raise these issues with him/her - as your assistant is also experiencing difficulties, perhaps you could both talk to the manager? Concentrate on issues that are making your role difficult but it's probably better not to identify specific obstructive members of staff.

After 30 years of service, I don't think you should resign. Get signed off by your doctor and hopefully the break - along with some support from management to deal with the difficulties you are encountering - will enable you to continue.

If, after your break, you feel the job is still just too stressful, start looking for something else or, if you can afford it, just leave.

My husband recently resigned from his job too LibbyR and the difference in his mental health after just one month is astounding. He's set up his own business, which comes with completely different stresses, but now he's in control and it seems to me as if he's a different person; much more relaxed and so much happier.

oh good....seriously I read this "I feel that my job is my identity" and saw a HUGE red flag

LibbyR I've just read your update and am pleased that you now feel much more relaxed, having decided to resign. As you say, if you miss working you can always look for something else at your leisure and in a more confident frame of mind rather than try and fit in interviews round your current stressful job.

It's good that you have made your decision, and I am sure you will feel much better for doing so. Look forward to your retirement with much joy - plan for a few months total rest and relaxation. The idea of retiring is usually so much harder than the actuality of it.

I'm pleased you have made a decision and wish you the best of luck for the future. You sound a great employee who cares and it is their loss. X