Full-time work at 59 and exhausted - is this normal?

Thanks to all of you for your replies. It's so reassuring to see that I am not just a weakling but many of you around this age feel/have felt exhausted in your jobs, and it seems to be that health and social care jobs are some of the worst in terms of emotional burnout. Musicgirl, it's great to hear how semi-retirement has given you a new life. Semi-retirement is what I want to do and I want it to be my time now. Hillsmetime, yes my children do need to understand that it is me and my health that is important now and not the family home. Every time the subject is broached, I get, 'it's our home' but an apartment could be there home too. Thanks again to all of you, I have the comments and suggestions have given me lots of food for thought and action too.

Tell me about it!

By 60, I was so tired at the end of each and every school-day, as a teacher and faced with two hours or more work correcting work or preparing classes, that I could not go on.

My husband felt exactly the same, after working for years with people with different disabilites, so we ended by giving up our jobs in the interest of staying married to each other and sane.

You cannot work for so long with people with mental health issues , or in any full-time stressful job without ending up feeling the way you feel now.

So if it is at all possible, take paid leave - failing that explain how tired you are and insist that you will need to only work part-time.

Or find a different job, but at 59 that will be hard, or get your GP to give you six to eight weeks' sick leave due to stress.

why should you have to provide your children with accommodation when they are grown up.

I agree with the person who said it's the job , not the age.
I'm a GP. I absolutely understand how exhausting listening to patients complex issues can be, especially, when so very often, listening is all you can do. You can't change some people lives.....but you can change your own.
I would definitely advise a change. I don't think having an auto immune condition is helping you but need a change from bearing the burdens of your clients.
I actually retired at 61 because I was burnt out as I am the kind of GP who attracted people with MH issues.
However I was bored and was happy to return during Covid.
Im now 68 , work 2 morning a week and I enjoy the mental stimulation but I am tired after a surgery.
I am also supporting DD3 through her second degree. 1 year to go.
My sister, a highly trained palliative care nurse got and 5 years my junior, was so worn out she left and got a job as a library assistant.
Less pay but she loves it has realised that work outside the NHS is far less stressful.

I sympathise. I worked as a health visitor until I was 64. I also have an autoimmune condition. I was absolutely knackered, and to be honest it was a struggle. Could you cut down to 3 days a week? Clinician’s work is very draining.

I totally understand the exhaustion I worked till 65 and felt so tired weekends were spent sleeping I had no social life one thing I did have checked was my vitamin D which was extremely low and I did feel slightly better when this improved with medication

My job was less stressful, but I was getting exhausted too as I approached 60, working full-time.Exacerbating it was my hearing loss, which is lifelong. I live in the hearing world though, have no friends/family in the Deaf world so all day every day it's lip-reading & straining to follow. Since retiring at 63 I'm not so debilitatingly tired & am able to enjoy limited socialising.

Have you thought about turning the inherited cottage into an Airbnb to have an income from.

Don't let your chikdren decide what's right for you. You definitely need to pur yourself first at this time of life. Try to take some time off, maybe 3 months to just be. Keep up with the gym like you have been, eat more protein - minimum 1.6g x bodyweight per day, every day. Yoi need to practice having a siesta every day and doing some relaxing stretching or yoga classes. Sit with yourself, write down scenarios of how you think your life could be without that job. Let things come to you naturally, keep in touch with one or two friends more and meet up informally during the day. Keep away from bad news and your health will improve so you can think more clearly. This will make you feel less exhausted. Good luck

I’m in a similar line of work, plus look after my dad who has Dementia, I’m 55 this year. I was only thinking today that every evening I fall asleep by 9pm. I was thinking there were links to the menopause but also wondering whether to mention to the GP. I am going to reduce my work significantly and step down from a lot of responsibility. For me it’s a combination of lots of different roles and hats to wear and there is not enough of me to go around. Sounds like your week is full on and when you work in this field it’s ironic how we can overlook our own needs. Are you able to reduce your hours at all? A member of my team has taken a two/three week pause as they were feeling exhausted and low, is this an option?

Hello there
I have no advice but wanted to say that You have a lot on your plate no wonder You feel so tired .🩷

Puzzlelove I don't think many people think that admin is easy but it is a different kind of stress to clinical work. Working directly with people who are struggling is emotionally draining.

I have done both by the way.

I'm not sure how old children are when still "in college" in Ireland.

It may be A levels (say) or university - but living apart from your partner and family must be hard too.

62, working full time and feeling much the same as you OP, even though my job is not nearly as stressful as yours.

When you are coming to the end of your working life its time to think about quiet quitting and coasting towards retirement.

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It’s easy to underestimate the mental energy requirements in many jobs. Everything you’ve said is why I retired just before I was 60. My advice would be to take your workplace pension(s) at 60 if you can.

Buying a flat sounds like a good idea, your children could use it until they are established in work and then you could rent it out for extra income. Just an aside, a friend in a similar situation with a bit of land grew her own fruit and veg and went to Farmers Markets, it turned into quite a good little business. Good luck with whatever you decide.