Age going against me!

I have worked for the company before and they are fully aware of my skill set and was the first member of staff brought on to this particular team before both managers.

Read this after I posted. Sorry but the fact that you were the first on the team doesn't mean you get to argue with your managers. The company are probably grateful that they have you in the team and value your skill set but they also expect their managers to manage the team.

Proved my skills by dealing with some of the most challenging child in care with good results and still do. I did not wish to make any of the decisions, hence not taking a leadership role. Gave my opinion in the proper professional manner and accepted the decisions - with outcomes as I have said which were not favourable to setting.

Handed in my notice because I do not feel comfortable seeing the outcomes and the demoralisation of staff etc. I will be reporting my concerns. Thank you

You sound like someone who always thinks she is right, definitely not a team player

Easybee has not used bullying words, she has challenged you, and you don't like it. I would be the first to challenge her if she was bullying you.
I think you have fixed ideas how things need to be done and it may have been the way you spoke to people that caused concern.

rafichagran

Easybee has not used bullying words, she has challenged you, and you don't like it. I would be the first to challenge her if she was bullying you.
I think you have fixed ideas how things need to be done and it may have been the way you spoke to people that caused concern.

agreed...

Can you not just keep your head down and focus in the children for a while. Leave the whole management side to get on with it. It must be nice not to have the responsibility you once had and enjoy the more direct working.

“I think you have fixed ideas how things need to be done and it may have been the way you spoke to people that caused concern”

Thank you for your observations duly noted. This is where I have been going wrong…. 🤔

I’ve heard similar stories before in the social care system, it seems you either bite your tongue or be assertive where it’s needed, if I were you I’d do the latter.You have years of experience which they don’t so why accept talking down to.

I’ve heard similar stories before in the social care system, it seems you either bite your tongue or be assertive where it’s needed, if I were you I’d do the latter.You have years of experience which they don’t so why accept talking down to.

Thank you for your insight, you actually get what I have been trying to say.

I could care less for labels in relation to roles. My priority has always been the children. I know like a lot of people that work in the system you could easily earn more money with less stress elsewhere.

Being older which was my original post seems to have a detrimental impact on how I am personally perceived. The kids love the fact I am seen as the elder of the team but I have found that I am being dismissed as relevant, even though I have witnessed many a scenario played and could almost write the script of what outcomes are going to be. When I witness a senior member of staff making recommendations that will impact negatively on the home, I have put my concerns in and they ignored.

To add more context and there is a long list, no notice of shift changes, favouring other staff members, receiving rude text messages on my personal phone wrapped up in a “gas lighting way” . Talking down to me when we are on our own yet making herself out to be the injured party. Yes I am a strong person and yet I know how to be professional. I am not apologetic for knowing my own worth and mind.

In fact today I put my notice in via email and I did not even receive a response, the only acknowledgment I had was that all my shifts were cancelled going forward. If that’s not a sign that I am irrelevant what is!

That will be a relief.
I do wonder about the ageism you identified. Younger staff also asked me about energy levels, especially about managing to keep up a level of intensity through the day, as I could and they were finding it difficult to work efficiently through the post— lunch sleepy time. I didn’t feel that was derogatory.

From what you're saying I really think you will be better off leaving. As I said earlier, it's the best move I ever made, after a life time in care I never imagined I would leave
Think of your own mental health
Sad to see the rather unsympathetic posts on this thread

Thank you Ziggy62.

It’s the children I feel sorry for! For a lot of private companies it’s about money and getting bodies into the jobs!

It’s def ageism at work Rainbow24 and it’s such a waste of experience as well as being horrible for the worker.
It’s their loss, but as you say it’s the children that matter.☹️
You’ll feel better not working there so a good move to leave a stress filled job.Good luck in finding something better.

Many nurseries will ot employ staff who do not have qualifications these days. I'm afraid you will
have to suck it up.

I’m very sorry you have been made to feel this way. We all want to feel valued in our jobs, hobbies or voluntary work.

I left a dramatic society after it was taken over by an arrogant chap who was not as capable as he thought he was. I couldn’t help being a pain as I could see what a mess he was making and he’d started off as my pageboy😆
It couldn’t go on and I do so miss my old friends.
I know it’s not the same situation but posters could be more sympathetic…

Thank you Oreo.

I think we have to learn to let go a bit as we age.
You aren't very old and were insulted by the remark about energy levels.

Younger people can't always guess our age. I get told frequently how I remind someone of their gran.
I am definitely not old enough to be their gran!

Be grateful that you don't have to make management decisions. Unless ofcourse you wish you could, in which case find another manager job pronto.

I don’t miss being a manager. I love to see disadvantaged children thrive and feel they matter.

Hearing staff say why would they put me on shift with someone over 40 what would I have in common with them!

And this golden oldie

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks!

I have seen a negative attitude towards the older generation in the workplace, well me anyway. I know it’s not everyone and everywhere but it does exist!

Whilst I suspect you have a valid point about agism, I think you might have ruffled a few feathers too. If you've come down to the shop floor after being a manager and the younger staff know it especially the ones who are in charge, you might have unnerved them a bit. By challenging decisions so early on, you might well have cooked your own goose without intending to.

You decided you didn’t want a managerial role, so you do have to accept the direction that the managers take, even if you think you know better. Perhaps decide not to give advice unless it’s asked for , maybe bring up your suggestions at a collaborative meeting where everyone’s ideas can be discussed rather than being directly confrontational .

Leave on your terms. At your time you want to leave.
Q. Do you have an Company Pension arrangements with them ? Find out what you might expect to receive.

I am happily retired now, but in the last ten or fifteen years of my working life I realised that:

no manger, headmistress etc. enjoys having staff that are twenty years older than she is, however competent and pleasant they may be.

since the 1970s no-one has looked up to "the older generation" and we who were young in the seventies reaped what we had sown, as far as that goes.

You have three options, here, grin and bear it, apply for a managerial position where you knowledge may be appreciated again, or take early retirement.

Whatever you do, do not leave, unless you have something definite to go to. No-one wants to employ anyone in the 60+ age group, never mind how much they talk about diversity, the need for us all to work until we are seventy, etc. etc.

If you really want to, and have always wanted to start your own business, do so, but be clear before you do, that it is hard graft, ruins your chances of retirement any time soon, and perhaps for ever if your venture fails.

David49

Unless you are the “boss” of a company you can expect to be sidelined as you get older, younger employees get promoted above you. Many companies do it deliberately, younger workers are much easier to convince to change working practices.
It happens to men just as much, many of my friends retired early or took voluntary redundancy, they then started a second career, some as a consultant, others at technical level rather than management. One in particular was a Bank Manager, retired early and worked as an accounts associate for 10 yrs afterwards.

Not only that, it is often Financial…Younger staff cost less generally!

I for personal reasons moved from a management role to a junior team member role. I didn’t tell the team that I still had all my management perks. Quite a few of the team picked on me and gave me the most trivial jobs. I just kept my head down and got on with the job. Gave my opinion when asked. I gradually got accepted for my strengths. It was 2 years before the team even knew that I still contractually had a car parking space, since I never used it and walked the same distance to the office as everyone else. It takes time to get accepted but it can be done.

Littletoothill Your friend at 71 is in unpaid rolls, these are usually offered to those willing as others won't do them unless paid. No disrespect to your friend intended, its the way of the world and has been for some time.