Age going against me!

Well to leave will mean they ve won

Leave.
I went on sick leave 2 years ago today, finally left 6 months later , I was 61, I'd worked in care all my adult life.
I started up a small domestic cleaning business, never been happier
Wish I'd listened to my husband and left earlier

Qualifications are seen as being more important than worked experience. It’s frustrating for me when the deputy talks down to me and makes poor decisions which I have challenged on several occasions, to be reported for being confrontational this was in my first week! As I could clearly see the disrespectful way I was being spoken down to!

You challenged the Deputy several times in the first week?
No-one is going to defer to you until you have proved yourself. Let people judge you for your skills; you chose to return 'to the ground' and have to accept you are no longer manager; keep a low profile and observe before you start challenging.

I'm sorry you're going through this.
So much for “diversity & inclusion” - age seems to be the one thing not covered by these policies, and it's the one thing we will all have in common, whatever our other differences may be.

Funnily enough I’ve just added a post about feeling like a spare part . I’m 68 & although I no longer work ( thank goodness ) I spent 45 years in social care in various roles , including senior management so can empathise with you .

I feel since I’ve got past 65 I’ve become ‘invisible ‘ & apart from suggestions of working in a charity shop my skills aren’t valued . Having said that I’ve got a friend who’s nearly 71 who’s a magistrate and prison inspector ( both voluntary positions ) and she’s very highly respected .

Maybe it’s a mind set thing and we have to stop fee,ing apologetic for being over 60! That said I do think younger people are far more arrogant these days and dismissive of us oldies . My dad always used to say “ you can’t put an old head on young shoulders” & how true this is

My view is if you’re at the point of giving up your job I’d talk to HR as your commitment and knowledge will be essential to the young people in your care. The team you work with need to do some reflection and team building to appreciate the skills each bring . I wonder if the abruptness you’re experiencing etc could be a reflection of their own insecurities .

Please don’t resign , the young people need your wisdom to face the challenges they face on a daily basis . Good luck 💐😊

Agree keep a bit of a low profile until they know you.
The penny will drop, they will know that you, know your stuff, and defer to you.

This could be your "happy" place for up to the next 10 years.
You can turn this around, by using your young Boss for advise, ask her how she was play certain things, use your skills in communication. She will soon realise she has a valuable asset.

“You challenged the Deputy several times in the first week?
No-one is going to defer to you until you have proved yourself. Let people judge you for your skills; you chose to return 'to the ground' and have to accept you are no longer manager; keep a low profile and observe before you start challenging.”

I have worked for the company before and they are fully aware of my skill set and was the first member of staff brought on to this particular team before both managers.

I have always been a keen advocate for the vulnerable and I will not keep a low profile if a decision being made will have a less than favourable outcome for the cared for! Are we as a team not putting them first over our own egos! No offence to you

Perhaps you are better suited to the role of manager?

If you enjoy the job stick with it you cannot change the personalities of others you work with. Do the job and keep enjoying it you might find your experience will be appreciated without knowing it.
The most important aspect of your job is the care for the children in social care. The people you work with are probably trying to prove themselves let them get on with.

You have been reported for being confrontational in your first week. this is not a good way to begin. Respect has to be earned and surely with all your years of experience you have learned that there are other ways of discussing decisions you disagree with without direct confrontation. You are undermining someone, possibly less experienced, in front of colleagues. Unprofessional.
I returned to work following childcare on a part-time basis after holding senior management roles, and was responsible to people far less experienced than me; actually, some of them did know more than me and I was happy to learn.
That said, no-one ever talked down to me and some actually asked my advice when they got to know me.

I'm sorry this is happening to you and its hard to make things right once they have started to wrong so early on. Reporting you tells me she was inexperienced and could have handled your 'suggestions' in a better way. However its happened and repair work needs to begin. I do think building rapport at whatever age we are working or volunteering takes time but its time well spent.

Don’t give up or give in!

If you’re good at what you do, and I believe you are, stick to your guns, for the “clients” sake.

IMO, the worst thing that happened within Social Work was when a compulsory Degree was introduced.

No amount of academia can make up for “lived” experience, in my view.

Let me clarify I have no issues working with inexperienced or younger members of the team. The Deputy goes running back to the Manager when she cannot handle situations or if she feels overwhelmed, I am not the only one that has experienced this. Bringing a play ground mentality to the team. I have empowered many a colleague to strive and do well. I have tried to make inroads towards our relationship but she does believe she is better than the everyone. Even talk to the children in a condescending way, believing this gives her an air of authority.

I am happy for you guys that have stepped aside to allow new staff members to take over etc. I applaud you. I was not brought on as Manager never wanted to have the responsibility, do not challenge without good reason.

I suppose for me how can one be expected to work under a person who does not have a clue, and no people skills.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

isn't it natural that the deputy manager should seek advice and direction from the manager, esp if feeling overwhelmed.
what is the alternative, to simply fail to deal with situations and not involve the manager.
we often hear of scandals in social work where there has not been proper supervision, and overwhelmed workers have failed in their duties, with managers being unaware, uninvolved.
your situation may be different.
but it depends how you raised the issues.
i suggest put everything in writing, in a calm official manner, with your observations and suggestions, and asking for feedback.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Quotes a deleted post.

I think I will end this thread thank everyone for their input.

No, I absolutely do not spend my day being rude to everybody, and I certainly never disparaged staff whether over or under me in the way that you are doing.
Your absolute contempt for her shines out and would make any attempt at building a relationship fail.

-she does believe she is better than the everyone.
-Even talk(s) to the children in a condescending way, believing this gives her an air of authority.
-The Deputy goes running back to the Manager when she cannot handle situations or if she feels overwhelmed,
-how can one be expected to work under a person who does not have a clue, and no people skills.

Best to return to your role as Manager.

I hope you find help and support
Thinking of you

Unless you are the “boss” of a company you can expect to be sidelined as you get older, younger employees get promoted above you. Many companies do it deliberately, younger workers are much easier to convince to change working practices.
It happens to men just as much, many of my friends retired early or took voluntary redundancy, they then started a second career, some as a consultant, others at technical level rather than management. One in particular was a Bank Manager, retired early and worked as an accounts associate for 10 yrs afterwards.

Ending the thread and flouncing off when you don't agree with the comments seems a little childish to me.

IMO, the worst thing that happened within Social Work was when a compulsory Degree was introduced. No amount of academia can make up for “lived” experience, in my view

This happened in other professions whereby experienced practitioners found themselves disadvantaged by not having a degree. Some of us left, got good degrees, and changed direction.

eazybee - please stop your bullying words.

No-one is going to defer to you until you have proved yourself. Let people judge you for your skills

Sorry but totally agree with this. Whatever you did in the past is irrelevant now and you're going to have to prove yourself all over again. You are no longer a manager and don't get to make the decisions, rightly or wrongly. All you can really do is give an opinion when asked, quietly and with facts to back up your opinion, then accept the decision.