bettering oneself

ethel, Count Arthur Strong is a sit-com, and Tegan and I think it's really funny! Nothing posh about it - it's set in a café and Arthur used to be on the stage with one of the customer's fathers (played by Roy Kinnear's son - can't remember his name). I think it's on on a Thursday night?

At least the elocution lessons stopped my bad stammer that I had had for about 5 years. What a relief.

Elocution lessons were part of the curriculum at my state grammar school.
I think the aim was to help us to speak clearly and distinctly and to eradicate such terms as 'munna' (must not). The ultimate aim was to help us to find a job rather than teach us to sound 'posh'.

My mother wanted her daughters to have elocution lessons, we refused. We moved frequently but always in the north west and we children became adept at picking up the differences in accents in towns only 5 miles apart. I'd pick up the accent within days of starting a new school, but mum was determined we wouldn't be 'broad Lancashire". She firmly believed that people wouldn't realise how clever we were, if we sounded 'broad'.

It does irritate me when I hear people putting down we northerners, especially when phrases like "oooop north" are used

My parents, from lowly beginnings, did everything to give my sister and me every chance to better ourselves and I am grateful to them for that.

Now my next comment should get a few responses . I had a very bad stammer and was given elocution lessons hence I have a quite pleasant accent (not posh) instead of the Brummie accent I would have had.

Having said that I love to hear all accents now including Brummie.

I have a lot of understanding about where you come from ethelteabags1. I think we have forgotten how class oriented our society was in the 1950s and 1960s when we were growing up. It is different these days, but those were formulative years for many of us and speaking nicely, using table napkins – and, dear Lord, using fish knives – being clean and tidy, minding our p's and q's and so on and so on were all part of the ways that our parents tried to make our futures more promising and fulfilling than their lives. My maternal grandfather was illiterate and my sister won scholarships to both Oxford and Cambridge when there were just a few women's colleges to attend. My mother, on the other hand, was a very intelligent woman who, if she had had the chance to stay on at secondary school, never mind go to university, would have been a fine historian. It must have seemed miraculous to her, although, of course, she knew how clever my sister was. Both my parents spent many hours at night school, learning a variety of things including languages – indeed they met at a German class where my mother thought my father was a real big head and disliked him intensely. The symbols and structures of a middle class life, to which my parents aspired, seemed almost unattainable to many who came from working class and poor families and there was a desperate desire, at least among some, to do exactly what ethel has talked about.

I would add that I thank my mother and father for "bettering" their own lives and making mine so easy and good.

Never heard of him!

who is Count Arthur strong ??? Is he posh

...Marelli; did you know Count Arthur Strong is back on the telly ....?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb-f8CTafHs

Oops - 'HERE endeth the lesson' (on my wee smartphone again) !

etheltbags1, I know you probably didn't mean your latest post to sound funny, but it did appeal to my sense of humour !
We are what we are. I don't think any one of us can make something different of ourselves - unless it's turning over a new leaf now and again. We can do our best - and to our own selves be true (hear endeth the lesson).

I don't think doing that would get you anywhere either, ethel but if it would make you happy you could always start doing it now.

If I could have my life back I would happily live in a scruffy house, anywhere, wear jogging bottoms everyday with egg down the front, drink myself silly and sleep with any man that comes along and go off into the sunset to collect my benefit. Oh and I would swear like a trooper and say f... everyone. No offence to anyone, please, on gnet.
I have spent my life trying to be respectable and it has got me nowhere.

I used to work in the cafe in a theatre so we had quite a range of customers. If anybody well spoken came to the counter one of the other girls would say to me "You go and serve - it's one of the snobby people" Presumably as I could communicate with them I was automatically classed as snobby too

Dear Ethelbags

The notions of a good life and behaviour that you were given are of their time.

Instead of judging people by these guidelines which would today seem to be out of date, why not be curious about how people you meet see life, what makes life worth living for them. Start to enjoy peoples unique personalities and enjoy being more yourself.

In the early 1970s I did a bit of temporary mothers help, nannying in various parts of the country.

What was really interesting was the difference I felt in different households about how the employers regarded me.

In a few I felt I was being treated with a degree of reserve which made me feel they did not think that I was their social equal. This feeling was very hard to define.

It did not seem to make any difference what sort of income, job, or new or old money my employers had.

Rosequartz, I may have been, without realising!

When DD went to drama school the voice coach asked where she came from as the coach could hear suggestions of a west country accent in her voice. She was born and brought up in Berkshire. This didn't surprise the coach as she said Berkshire was the most easterly county with west country sounds in its accent

When DD started work in an office in London she was called 'Poor little rich girl' because her accent was considered so posh!

At our local NT pile at Christmas we dressed as various characters from the house's past. I was a maid (all the other outfits were too small!) I was told to talk Norfolk as the maids were all local girls - so I did - and a lot of the visitors couldn't understand me! The locals loved it though and joined in with gusto causing more confusion. I thought Norfolk was quite easy to understand.

Every day in every way I'm getting better and better

We still have DD2's message on our answerphone which confuses people as she lives in Australia!

numberplease were you using your 'telephone' voice?

The first time my husband took me back to his home, a few weeks after we met, his parents and one of his married sisters were there. When we were leaving, for him to take me to the bus stop, we were in the hall, and heard them talking, his sister said "she`s a bit posh and snobby isn`t she?", I couldn`t believe it, I thought I was as common as everybody else, and they`d been so nice to my face as well. Before we left, hubby opened the living room door and said "we`re off now, see you in a bit", you should have seen their faces!

Blimey - that is posh JaneA!

I hate my voice too rose but I'm still lumbered with doing two lots of answerphone messages and my mobile phone. I draw the line at doing DH's so his is still the standard one!

It is confusing, though, janea, I have just finished an American book set in the early 1900s and have now started an Australian book. Accents are buzzing around in my head.

I thought I had no discernible accent, but must admit my Midlands accent comes back when I visit up there.
I am just me (although I will admit to not liking my voice when I heard a recording of it!)

Kitty recently one of my friends was describing a woman who had worked in the same office as her DH.
My friend said 'She was really posh - even posher than you!'