Pulling yourself together.

Tell yourself to only spend 10 minutes a day straightening up. Or every time I stand up pick up only 1 out of place thing and put it back. Next thing I know it is already looking better and I haven't exhausted myself doing what I don't feel like doing. Be kind to yourself and find some joy each day. Soon you will be on the mend.

I have been away for a few days and I have not done anything much on the program I was using.

I now have a dreadful cold and just want to curl up in bed.

Get a cleaner

Synonymous, I had flu and then shingles and was wiped out for weeks, during which time the house cracked under the weight of the dirt, which somehow my husband failed to notice at all.
A local cleaning firm came round, assessed it, and charged £150 to clean.... everything. Skirting boards washed, furniture pulled out, bathroom wall-tiles squeegeed, insides of window cleaned, kitchen cupboards emptied and wiped down. The only thing they didn't do was the ovens, which are extra.
Best £150 I've ever spent.

That will teach me to look at dates as I didn't realise it was an old thread and no longer about the op. Well I hope Loopyloo is well and on top of things now and that Nellie will soon be sorted. I know as much as I need to about alternative religions so that is me outa here!

Hope you soon feel very much better loopyloo and I think you need to be very kind to yourself. When DH was also unable to do stuff in the house I organised a cleaning company to come round and talk to me with a view to getting the house organised and back on an even keel. They have been terrific and did so much in a very short time because they were well and it is their job. It was nowhere near as expensive as I thought it might be and they estimated how much it would be to get everything which I wanted done before I agreed to anything. I now have them regularly to keep everything as I want it and it has made me feel so much happier with my home. I suggest that this might be the very thing for you too.

If you are prone to negative thoughts and self blame nellie, then have a look at CBT approaches, not for everyone but CBT can help get thoughts back under control. Yes, Mindfulness might also be useful.

This winter seems to be lasting for years, it’s even harder with no one to talk to with honesty. I know that one, it’s a lonely old place. Take care. Let us know how you are?

Bluebelle and others, thanks for the support. I don't think I am depressed as such. I can still enjoy things.
I find myself dwelling too much on things and perhaps making too much of set backs.

I get very angry with myself when things go wrong. I have always been prone to mislaying things and that makes me angry.
I do feel rather isolated my good friend for years emigrated and I do not now have any one who I can really talk to. I know people but they do not fill the confidante role.
My OH has Aspergers and is really not good at empathy at all.
I am still quite a shy person, some would be surprised by that. I am working on it.

Lots of good advice here for you nellie - so just want to send and good wishes.

The winter drags on so, and I hope very much that when a little warmth seeps through th4e damp it will help you to take all these very sensible steps. x

Am really surprised that this thread has been picked up again but this cold weather really makes me feel low.
I do find there are small things that mean I start to get some control back.
Even washing my hair and putting some makeup on. Tidying up the kitchen etc.
Where do other people start?

Dear Nelliemoser
You say you've got into a despairing mess with negative feelings for months.
I think you need to talk to your doctor because you sound depressed.
I second Cornergran's advice to contact family and friends . Sharing your feelings will help. Keeping a gratitude diary is a good idea too.
Doing a mindfulness course is a good idea but perhaps better postponed until you are feeling better.
You can always find some sunshine abroad if you want a holiday.

I should have read that before posting, hope it makes sense.

That was to loopyloo btw

Nelliemoser I think you're taking the first small steps and it really is one step at a time. This is not a great time of year for getting out, getting some sunshine when all we feel like doing is snuggling down indoors and perhaps eating comfort food.

Perhaps when the weather gets a bit better a short stroll each day could help too, just making yourself get out into the fresh air even for a short time helps, but the forecast is not great for the next few days unfortunately. Planning what you can do when you feel a bit better could help too.

Rest and get better first then one day you'll suddenly feel that you can do more, but don't overdo things when you do feel a bit better.

Firslty nellie so many congratulations for being honest with yourself and daring to share your situation. Huge pat on the back coming your way.

I’m not sure how things are on a practical level, if your home is a bit out of control then start small, don’t try to do it all at once. A positives notebook can help, so jot down everything, no matter how small, that has been good in a day. Anything from hearing birdsong to cleaning the kitchen worktop, anything enjoyable or an achievement, then look over it at the end of the day and be proud of yourself, it also helps if you have one of those ‘it’s been a dreadful day/week’ moments to see it wasnt all bad.

Have you cut yourself off from people? If so dipping a toe back into family or friends can help. Going out each day, whether for a walk or to a shop for a purpose it doesn’t matter. The exercise helps stabilise mood and it’s an opportunity to say a good morning to others. I know it sounds daft but if you smile at people most smile back. Take time to do your hair and makeup if you use it, looking what my Mum used to call tidy helps too.

Those sorts of things can help. For myself I find mindfulness really useful to calm my mind, stop the washing machine whirl it gets into. The only thing I would say is when you begin you may need to suspend disbelief for a while.

There are so many things you could try, I don’t know what you have tried already so won’t go on. It’s important to remember we are all individuals, what works for one doesn’t for another, so if something isn’t helpful then try to think of it as something learned, not failure.

Please don’t exhaust yourself, little changes stick better than big ones. I hope you feel more comfortable with yourself soon and send my very best wishes. Keep talking here if it helps, be lovely to know how things are going for you, .

I have just found this thread by title which it fits.
I am trying to get my brain and morale back in gear.
I realise I have been feeling very negative for a good part of last year and in particular the run up to Christmas.

I have now given myself a sort of kick up the backside to try and be more positive and to stop dwelling on all that I feel or perhaps imagine is going wrong for me. I have signed up for an NHS recommended online mindfullness course.

Just after Christmas I started doing some meditation type relaxation that I had in the past done in a budddist setting, which has helped.
I think I have been trying to ignore the despairing mess I have/had got myself into.
Any helpful suggestions welcome. (Some sunshine would help but that is genuinely out of my control.)

I probably should not have bottled all this up for so long so I am finally admitting to the thread and myself that I have been in a bit of a mess and I want to change this . all suggestions welcome.
Thank you.

Take it gently - a step at a time. What's the worst that can happen? That's what I keep telling myself. I've had a severe back problem which has limited my activity and a flipping cough but I found that if I did just one thing a day eg clothes washing or vac one room I didn't feel so bad. I then had a friend round who I'd not seen for a while and just dusted the bits she might be able to see. Did it matter? No it didn't. We had a very nice catch up and are seeing each again! As another friend said 'it's you I've come to see, not your house'. I'm a lot better now thankfully and my cough responds to a nightly strepsil so at least I sleep OK even if I'm coughing during the day.
loopyloo. Get well soon.

Forgot to add, one thing I did eat loads of (still am) was satsumas/clementines. Nice and easy and full of vitamin C!

Much sympathy. I was exhausted after over a week of toddler care while baby grandson was in hospital. Got a really horrible cold right after, that left me feeling utterly washed out, then shingles on top!

For the past few weeks I have done the absolute bare minimum of cleaning, tidying, and have spent an awful lot of time lying on the sofa with a good book/watching rubbish telly.
I would make myself do just one small thing at a time, e.g. tidy the kitchen just enough, put some washing on, etc.

Energy is slowly returning - yesterday I made myself get out in the sun and walk (downhill!). 20 mins to the supermarket - got the bus back, though.
Was also eating too much 'easy' food, like buttered toast! But yesterday did make myself a stir fry with lots of veggies.

If you are feeling rubbish with/after a nasty infection, I don't think you should feel at all bad about resting and letting a lot of things go hang for a while.

But I agree about seeing the GP - it may be that antibiotics are needed, though of course they are much more reluctant to prescribe these nowadays.
I do hope you will be feeling a lot better soon.

I feel for you Loopyloo as I'm in a similar position. In September 2015 I had a triple by-pass, last March I was hospitalized with pneumonia, later on I got sciatica which now seems to have given way to my osteoporosis and arthritis. I can only stand for a short while which makes things like ironing difficult, nor can I get down on my knees which precludes quite a few jobs. 'A nice walk' is out of the question as I can't even walk as far as the bus stop. Every so often I try and tackle a few jobs and let the rest wait. ?

Dear Sara Hallen Witney, I love your diet plan. Please would you make up more days or write a book ! Thanks for the advice.

Hi Loopyloo, hope you feel better soon. Buying a book and having a manicure is very uplifting. I'd suggest a good dose of Vitamin D too plus those strong Vitamin and zinc drinks and decide ahead of time that in the next day or so you're not going to do any housework, then you'll be guilt free. I hate housework, it looks overwhelming, then doesnt get done, which is depressing. Just not my thing. I now work part time which switches me on and helps me tackle things.

Wildswan, you're a genius about using the ad breaks! Nothing like a deadline!

As has been said above already - concentrate on getting yourself well again. The mess/filth/dust/ crud will still be there when you're better :D

Once you are feeling up to it, decide what area needs attention the hose. Then get a kitchen timer and set it for five minutes. That's all. Five minutes tackling your chosen area, and then let yourself rest. When you're feeling rested, do another five minutes. And continue until you have caught up, increasing your stints by a minute at a time until you are fully better.

I always find, when I'm recovering from an illness and feeling very weary, small chunks seem more manageable than trying to tackle a massive task.

I hope you're feeling better soon

Step 1...Visit your GP for medication for your chest. Step 2 - Give yourself a chance to recover, tackle small jobs and if you're mood hasn't changed go back to GP...u may need a little help. Good luck...

Do not deny yourself food or wait long hours before food.
Your blood sugar levels will drop /low blood sugar can cause you to pass out.
First thing in the morning you need energy.2small eggs scrambled with rasher grilled bacon.tea or coffee no sugar semi skim milk
Mid morning a banana and a few raisins
Lunch. Tinned salmon sandwich no butter on bread plenty of omega oils in salmon an apple or low fat yogurt.
Afternoon tea coffee small slice madeira cake or couple rich tea biscuits
Evening meal Ham, cut off fat,and as much salad veg as you like.Low cal salad dressing Low calorie carton of rice pudding
Vary your meals but never go without food.
lots of water between meals minimum of six glasses a day. I quarantee you will lose weight without denying yourself food.