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AIBU

Help please, wise people!

(36 Posts)
sandelf78a Fri 21-Jul-17 19:20:38

Husband paralysed with pre wedding speech nerves! Total surprise to me (married 46 years - he is normally nerveless). What can I/he do to get some confidence. Wedding is tomorrow!

mischief Thu 27-Jul-17 13:05:21

If I can do it anyone can. Being a one-parent family after husband died, it was up to me to give the speech at my daughter's wedding. I was terrified. I'm not one for being the centre of attention so it was very alien to me, but I knew I had to do it. I didn't eat anything at the dinner because I felt so sick, and I felt like the queen giving a very stiff and stilted speech when it came to it. I couldn't relax and I've been very embarrassed about the thought of it ever since.
But my other daughter said it was fine and she wants me to give a speech at her wedding, so I can't have been so bad. I can totally empathise with your DH, but he WILL get through it.

W11girl Thu 27-Jul-17 13:47:17

My husband, as father of the bride has to do a speech at his daughters wedding in 2 weeks time. His daughter is from his first marriage. I knew he didn't want to do it as he felt all eyes would be on him, as he has "not been in her life" on a daily basis for quite some time (her choice). His children choose not to contact him unless they want something. I went on the internet and pulled together a very simple speech for him that will not be open to criticism from the first wife. Both of us are dreading the wedding as we will be apart for quite some considerable time as they always sit me at the back by the door with complete strangers while he has to sit at the top table with the family. I pointed out that the family will be more interested in looking at me as "that woman" 9I couldn't care less) and not him. He doesn't feel so bad now! Such is life!

Legs55 Thu 27-Jul-17 14:33:08

My DH was terrified of giving a speech when his DD got married, I told him "stand up, speak up & shut up" in other words keep it short. He did a short speech which went down well. We also knew that Best Man would give a brilliant speech as he was used to public speaking.

I am a bag of nerves in front of people I know but in front of a room full of strangers I can give a speech, presentation etc no problemhmm

alig99 Thu 27-Jul-17 14:39:51

I used to do lots of presentations often to large groups and of course I was often nervous. I found the best thing was to focus on either an object in the room or one person and deliver what I had to say to it/them only, it made then rest of the room disappear and felt far less intimidating. It worked for me hopefully it might do for your OH. Have a fab day both of you. Ali

fluff Thu 27-Jul-17 16:21:17

Well the best thing I can say is tell him to remember that everyone there is on his side and will be cheering him on, and if he fluffs his lines they will understand.

blue60 Thu 27-Jul-17 19:01:55

As a public speaker for many years, here are some tips:

1. Look at an object at a far wall, so you look as if you're speaking to the wider audience
2. If mouth goes dry, close your lips together and run your tongue over your front teeth
3. Get used to hearing the sound of your own voice - walk around the house and speak or read the speech loudly

It's not an easy thing to do, but being prepared will really help.
Know what you're talking about/get to know what's in the speech.

Hope that helps xx

Gaggi3 Thu 27-Jul-17 19:02:11

My son in law had to give a best man speech at a wedding where the some of the bride's family had been involved in a terrible car accident abroad, weeks before the wedding. I think someone had been killed and others were still recovering. Don't know how he did it.

Grandmama Thu 27-Jul-17 19:56:01

I gave the speech at DD1's wedding because it would have been way beyond DH to do this. Didn't write anything down (which panicked DD1), looked on a few websites for ideas. It went down OK but I got used to giving talks when I was working.

Theoddbird Thu 27-Jul-17 20:34:46

Small cards with notes on to remind him. It is quite common to do thissmile Enjoy x

moobox Fri 28-Jul-17 10:51:21

It was a trial holding off the wine during the meal as the speeches were at the ned, but v necessary not to be tipsy