Is this out of order?

*door...sorry

My children were taught good manners, as I was by my parents, however, there were many times when doors were opened (before the advent and spread of automatic doors) by my children for me to pass through and held there whilst a stream of adults waltzed in without even glancing at them never mind a smile or thank-you. To a four year old, smilingly holding a doir open, this can be confusing and I hated with a vengeance, the adults who ignored them.
When we were on public transport they sat on my knee or stood between my legs without being asked. Some adults are just unmannerly and ignorant.

You have to be so careful these days. I got on a bus where a fit and healthy young man was sitting in the ‘disabled’ seat. The whole of the first floor was packed and there was no way I could climb the stairs or stand for the journey, I simply said “I’d have thought a fine young man like yourself could sit upstairs” and I was subject to a torrent of abuse and swearing throughout the journey (someone else was kind enough to move) from his mother and sister, and when we got off the bus the three of them mobbed us, pushing and shouting. I was very shaken by the episode but sadly there is a huge amount of disability discrimination. Even at my DGD’s school where the headteacher condoned a non-disabled person parking in the single Blue badge bay - I used to park on the double yellow lines (well away from the zigzags) with my badge until surly letters about ‘dangerous parking’ were sent out, and I got abuse from other parents, who were quite alright when it came to the obstructions caused by their own cars. I despair sometimes.

Thank you everyone I am reassured that it's not just me. I do despair sometimes

This is so not right .
Children should be taught manners and that they do not always have their own way
Asking the child !!!! words fail parent be a partent

My child would have sat on my lap even if there were free seats !

Another vote in agreement! I once travelled on a longish train journey and a mother occupied four seats (herself and 3 very young children). I was stood up right beside them and she could have easily put two together or one on her lap but what was worse was the kids spent most of the journey on the floor, standing up looking out the window or making endless trips to the toilet!!! I should have said something but, as she was so thoughtless, would it have made any difference other than to get me more annoyed?

As others have said I learnt from a very early age that I gave up seats to my elders - its so ingrained in me that even now I find myself standing up for people I 'think' may be older than me (who probably aren't tho )

I insist my children/gc think of others.

Totally agree with all these,when they are so young, they cannot dictate what they want to do, children of this age are all about their world. The parent should have put the child on their lap and explain why they have done it,and that it's a kind thing to do.I used to teach Infants and many start school with very few manners.

It's never too early to be kind and consider others,helping and sharing is making a very good start to school and a great lesson in life skills.

My child would have been moved immediately. She still would - and shes 19! (Although she wouldn't have to be told!)

When I had a school bus pass back in the late 50s and 60s, the conductor would always tell school kids to double up (sit on one-another's lap) or stand up. At 16 we had a typed message on our passes that we werre over 16 and entitled to a seat. Oh, the good old days!

Seems to be the way people behave these days. It’s like travelling on a train, where the majority of people seem to sit in the aisle seat, leaving the seat on the inside unoccupied or full of their baggage. Woe betide anyone who has the temerity to ask them to move their belongings or even worse, move over so they can sit down.
What a selfish inconsiderate society we have developed into.

Sometimes I have trouble controlling my reactions. In that situation I think I would have burst out laughing and then said to the mother "Are you kidding me??"

I think its a bit unfair to say children aren't allowed a choice. They have as much right to choice as anyone else - parents need to offer good options to allow them to choose. So in this situation it would have been handled much better to ask the toddler if she wanted to sit on her mum's lap or she wanted to stand up.
I'm not sure its appropriate to ask a child to sit on a strangers lap and even worse is to make a child feel they don't have a choice over what happens to them.

If we don’t teach our children to be kind and considerate to others, selfishness & antisocial behaviour will reign. Children should never be given a choice in these matters but told what to do, otherwise they’ll never learn the what’s right.

I think we all agree because that was how we were brought up and what was generally accepted in those days. I find it incredible when travelling by train or on the London Underground that parents get on to a crowded train and tell their children to take any available seats and stand themselves. Children are rarely told to give up their seats to the elderly or infirm. They sit there like little emporers seeming to think they have a right to the seat. It annoys me no end! I think (and hope) that my own GC don't do this but I'm not often on a train with them!

How daft! My kids knew they sat on my lap or stood up when older. With my young grandchildren its the same .

It is the reason toddlers travel free - however I can't see what you could do on a crowded bus with a difficult mother. No conductors these days to force the issue.

Well that obviously wasn’t the case here Jallenrix was it?

Until four years ago, I would have agreed. I now have a friend with a son who has developmental disabilities. Moving him could result in a full-scale meltdown. I’m more surprised that his/her mother wouldn’t have given you her seat.

Well the verdict appears to be unanimous, we are all in agreement that young children should sit on an adult’s knee, or stand if they are old enough, so that an older person can sit down, when traveling on a bus. I also believe the same should apply when traveling on a train or tube train.
I wonder when it all went wrong. What has happened to make parents believe that a child traveling free or for half fare, should have more right to a seat than an adult?

I remember conductors, as the bus got full, calling out 'All half fares stand, please!'

If you look in the small print for most public bus companies you will find it says something like ... Children travelling for free cannot occupy a seat if it is needed by a fare-paying passenger. I think we can assume that that rule would extend to the elderly travelling on concessionary passes as if they were fare-paying. I rarely travel on a bus so I don't know if they display signs to this effect. If not, they should.

The same general rule may apply in other situations. For example, the ticketing policy for the local theatre here is simple. If you want a seat for a young child you buy a ticket, else it sits on your lap.

Agree, a child of that age should simply have been whisked onto a lap. A child of any other age shouldn’t be asked either, but told to stand up and give an older person a seat.
Then parents wonder why their children run them ragged!

Words fail me. I think I’d have insisted it moved.