not to donate?

Johno it doesn't take much to work out the abbreviations and most people who use a computer already know them.

I think that not only were you reasonable not to donate but that it was the right thing to do.
If they were genuinely going to turn up and offer to help out at a school, that would just be voluntourism which can cause problems.
cgd.leeds.ac.uk/2015/04/08/the-problem-with-voluntourism/
You asked all the right questions and they had no answers to any of them so I don't really see how you could in good conscience give.
Aside from the fact that it just seems to me to be bad manners to ask people that you only know as neighbours to fund your holiday even if you might do a few good things whilst there.

henetha I have a map of America I could donate to your trip!! ?

Seeing the real devastation that some people are enduring abroad, and reading some of the heartbreaking lives that children and animals are leading here, it is so hard to know what to do when you look into charities and their administration. After a TV fundraiser someone made the point that billions have been poured into Africa, and has it made any real difference? (See photos of President Mugabe's palaces online) The 'chuggers' in the high streets work for companies that take a cut from your donation every single time -not just the initial one. A local accountant has stopped all donations since doing the books for two major charities and seeing just how much is spent on the salaries for the people in charge, and he now takes goods and money into a local school for the disabled, and gives a local animal charity money directly.

As for donating to neighbours so they can go on holiday -just for once I am lost for words!

Our DGD no 2 went to southern India some 3 years ago, on one of these school organised "charitable trips" and her Mum went too as one of the adult helpers. The purpose of the trip was "to help build a school". These were 14/15 year old girls, all from priviliged backgrounds who had at least two family holidays a year to enjoy. No building skills whatsoever!

When reports came back, including photographs and videos, it turned out to be a programme of learning Indian dancing, make-up and dressing in saris. They visited temples and had a cookery demonstration and went on boat trips into the jungle. The only evidence of any "school building" was a visit to a village where a building had been started but not a lot seemed to be happening there and the girls certainly played no part in doing anything to change that!

It is verging on fraud to run these holidays dressed up as charitable giving and we now have a problem because 14-year old DGD no 3 is "raising funds" to go on one such to Cambodia to "help build a school". Do we contribute as we did for her sister 2 years ago? Fairness says we must but it does go against the grain somewhat!

I agree - a recognised charity and a formal programme I would make a donation - a family holiday definitely not!

Rosina I think that some charities do help in Africa but there are many bottom up charities started by people who see the problems on the ground and help.
I also quite like John Humphrey's Kitchen Table Trust which gives to small charities and their grant process is simple so they don't waste people's time. I have never given to them personally because I have enough that I support but they give money out much more quickly than Comic Relief.
I would never give to a chugger and I think that it is very close to mugging.
Smaller charities can be problematic too and it is worth finding out what they give to. I had a client who was an executor who discovered that a charity that she had to send money to had received under £1m and over £750,000 had been spent on salaries for three directors and very little of the rest had been spent. She complained to the Charity Commission and refused to pay out the money but they said that it was outside their remit and so there was nothing she could do but pay it to them. It is worth getting a copy of the charities accounts but you do now have to pay for them.

Do I gather it is the PARENTS as well as the children who want funding so that they can go on the holiday as well?
If so, what a cheek!

Gagagran It is difficult when it is family. Personally, I think that building a school is a job in areas where they are in short supply and it would be much better to send the money for a school building programme. I don't know what I would do if I had paid for one and found it be at least a little dodgy. It also depends how many grandchildren you have. You don't want to have to keep doing it. Could you say that you are a bit hard up right now but will make sure that she gets a bit extra for Christmas or something like that?

Some years ago a friend wanted to raise funds for her daughter to do something similar. She is into her crafts so she decides to sew bags and suchlike to sell, asking if we (a group of friends) would support her by purchasing, the bags were to be around £10-12. We all said yes, she got productive and had a coffee morning sale where said bags were available - prices £18+ and some quite pricy. I bought one of the cheapest because I didn't want to be the one who didn't buy, but I was a bit cheesed off that this was double the original price and yes, a bit of a cheek!

The only abbreviation I can see at the moment is UK

No don't donate what a cheek she has! If I'm asked to donate to something I'm not happy about I say I have donated to enough charities already.

I lived in West Africa in my early 20s and in common with several of our neighbours employed a 'small boy' aged 11 who acted as helper for our steward. He was fed, clothed, given accommodation and medical treatment
Looking back on the situation after more than 50 years I felt very ashamed that I had not done more to aid his education ( although he was far better off health and support wise living in our household at the time.. and had come down from the far north of the country to find a job at the request of the steward who had been a neighbour in his home area).
Years later, when we had returned to the uK, a local man and wife team of the school-building brigade gave a lecture about the necessity of their fund raising to aid with education in the same area.
A pensioner friend bought pencils and small items by denying herself the occasional coffee. I was still feeling guilty about our time in this country and my employment of an 11 year old so gave them a sizable donation as did a friend's husband. We were aghast a few weeks later to hear that the entire family was going to Africa to do their good works . Our donations contributed highly towards their air-fares.
Never again

I agree with everyone who has said this type of donation is cheeky, in fact I agree with Gagagran who said it verges on fraudulent.

All three of my children either self funded their gap years, or we paid for them. Our son went to Australia and Fiji, he worked before he went, he worked whilst he was there, and we paid some of his expenses. He returned home and then did a four year course at university, The University of Wales. Our second son went abroad after he graduated from Oxford University. He went to teach in The International School in Sri Lanka for two years. He was entirely self funded (he was paid by the school.) He is now a barrister in London. Our third child, a daughter, did an Elective in The Philippines as part of her medical degree. She worked in a hospital, and only received bed and board for this, no pay. We funded this worthwhile trip.

Why on earth would I or anyone else fund a party of two adults and four young girls to go on holiday? I think I’m lost for speech, unusual in my case!

Well said Johno, as you may be aware, I am blind and so, therefore, must use the computer with specialised audible software. It's difficult enough trying to understand anyway without all these `secret squirrel type` abbreviations, as grandparents we want to encourage our Grandkids to speak English not gobble de gook. Well I've had enough GTP NMAP (Going To Pub, No More Abbreviations Please)

A few weeks ago someone I know was organising a charity coffee morning at her church. Before this happened she was asking everyone for donations -including in her hairdressers salon and at the retirement complex where she lives. She asked me once in person and once over the phone. If people refused she asked them why, so I was told.
I do give to the same charity, but I refused her because of the way she was going about it.and because I had already given to another charity that week. Several people were a little annoyed by her ,unfortunately ,and refused to give.

It’s a darned cheek. Let them pay for the holiday themselves. I cannot believe the brass neck of the parents. When youngster do the World Challenge at the school my daughter teaches at, the kids are expected to raise funds to help pay for flights by doing voluntary car washes, making crafts to sell etc. To expect friends and neighbours to fund a holiday that may or may not involve helping a school out overseas, this is just rude and cheeky.

PamelaJ1 Agree.
There is much more in this world worthy of our donations and all well and good to experience different sights, sounds, and cultures but not by '' rattling a tin'' under the publics nose.

The cheek of it. Say no

It does seem a cheek. It's the second time in as many weeks that I have heard exactly the same scheme. A few years ago people would be raising money by selling cakes, running half marathons etc. Now it's far easier to just ask people for the money without any effort being put in. The headteacher at my grandson's school asked for donations for the very same thing. Well if her daughter wants to do it let her raise the capital herself or let her mother fund it, to send a message round on school funded paper in school time seems to be taking thinks a bit too far.

I think the OP (sorry Johno) was right not to donate.

A slightly different angle: Even when the cause is worthy, I hesitate to donate where I’m asked to ‘sponsor’ someone who is e.g. running a marathon, bike riding from Lands End to John o’Groats etc. Why don’t they use the time, talents and energy that took to do something productive or helpful, rather than the self-indulgent hours spent training and geting themselves super-fit? They could have renovated a building, knitted a blanket or who knows what else that could have helped someone else, as well as raising money.

Barmy- I used IMO.
Doversold ??

Sold? Sorry.

I don't suppose the youngsters really think about the realities and political implications of their big gap year trips.
Years ago we were invited to our daughter's school to hear a presentation about one of these projects in India. They were upfront about it and how much it would cost. I remember fundraising suggestions included a sponsored parachute jump.
Being sceptical, possibly mean and definitely not rich, we came away and told our daughter we could not support this trip.
She didn't mind at all and we soon discovered only one parent had signed up for it.

As others have said, and I agree, it is mostly just something for an experience but you shouldn't be expected to fund a neighbour's kid.

I spoke yesterday to a mother whose two youngsters both spent their gap year helping out in a "poor country". She justified the fundraising by saying it was mostly for their keep while they were there.

But hang on, do you ask your friends and neighbours to fund your children's keep for a year?

What are ‘ gap years’ but just a holiday. The youngsters learn nothing and it’s an excuse not to go straight to college or work. I left school at 15 , on the Friday and started work two days later on the Monday . A 48 hour week. When I’d finished my first week I was looking forward to a lie in on Sunday only to be told by mum that she’d also got me job in local corner shop 6 hours in the Sunday . Worked for the next 51 years with 2 years off to have kids . Youngsters havent got a clue.