Empty nest syndrome after 20 years

My message was meant for morningmistystar

I know how you feel but it probably won't be all that long before you find yourself knee deep in GC.
I have 3 here at the moment & another 3 coming at weekend!!

The beauty of it is that you get a break from GC.

I look back fondly on the years of bringing up little ones - I loved it. Two of mine live nearby so I see lots of them and their children.

I would love to do it all again, but take great delight in the GC and just accept that each phase of life has its good and bad things, knowing I have to embrace this late phase with a good grace.

And I have photo albums chock full of memories. Didn't it all go by in a flash!?

I agree wholeheartedly with CarlyD7 post.

Bordersgirl, I had a huge pile of photos too. I had six children and also loved photography!
What I did ( in an unused room for few days) is divided them up into seven piles. Six of the piles were each child,and the seventh pile, a general ‘we are all in the picture equally ‘
So whichever child was the main subject got the picture, if they were all equally on the pic, that went on the seventh pile. At the end,divided the seventh pile between them, honestly it was like dealing cards out!
Then bought six boxes ( the ones you can roll under the bed) labelled each, and also put anything else in of theirs, ie; school reports, school modelling, birth wrist bands,their old exercise books.When each child has bought their own house I’ve given the box to them, so THEY can choose what to do with their own history. They thought it was cheesy, until they had their own kids, then bang! they loved it!!

imm6 I know just what you mean. Mine live locally and I have lovely GC I see regularly but I miss the times my children were small. Also I realise I didn't appreciate it at the time. Time passes so quicklyveitjout us realising it, I'm trying hard to remember that with my GC but sometimes it's hard not to just get caught up in day to day living

Lovely post Day6. One little thing to add though; make the most of the peace and quiet before the grandchildren arrive! ?

I miss my children but they have their own lives now. I loved the time when they were small but every day was busy and hard work. The hardest time was when they both left home within a few months and afterwards it took a while to adjust as the house was so quiet.

Empty nest affected me when they went off to uni. DD left for uni which left a big hole then two years later twin sons went off. DD still at uni in one city, at least DSs were flat sharing in another city. It was awful. None of them came back after uni other than for a very few months between travelling and new jobs. I can feel myself 'sinking' just writing about it.

Learn to adapt to this new chapter of your life. Enjoy the freedom to do what you want to do for yourself, to give yourself pleasure. Are you now single?

It is hard. I have a daughter and three grandchildren who live in New Zealand and, luckily, a son and grandson 2 hours away in the UK who I see once a month. When I feel lonely I think of my sister. She has two sons. One is married and living in Oz and they can't have children. The other is settled in Tasmania and met his older partner too late for them to have a family. She lives 200 miles away from me, her only sister. She very rarely sees her boys and now in her late 70s it's getting even harder for her to travel and she has just been diagnosed with early on set dementia. The point being. However lonely we feel, and however reasonable this feeling is, somewhere close by there is always someone less fortunate. This realisation doesn't help on a really bad day, but somedays it can help you to shake the feeling off and keep busy. Something I love about women! The grit and courage we all possess to fly the flag, put our chins up and be grateful for what we have.

I know what you mean. I cried when my youngest left home for university. He briefly came home and life was chaos!! He now lives 94 miles away and I see him 2 or 3 times per month. We speak on the phone weekly. My eldest two left years ago. Both married with kids now. Enjoy the peace and quiet but pat yourself on the back. They fly the nest because you gave them the best start in life. A mother's love.

Completely understand and sympathise

Nope I don't miss them at all I bought them up to be independent I knew one day they would fly the nest and they did. When the last left 2 years ago I decorated her bedroom and it stayed tidied bliss no tantrums no arguments just peace

OH suffered (still does) from Empty Nest more than me. He sends texts etc. all the time although both live nearby and we see them a lot.

I can understand it must be very difficult for a single parent to wave off the last one with a smile.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bordersgirl57
I know what you mean about old photos. I selected several photos from my an old suitcase of my mother’s. I took them into a photography shop in town which made a lovely poster/collage with the computer. We then framed the poster and it hangs on my lounge wall. I’m about to do the same with a selection of my father’s old photos. The man in the shop also put them on a pen drive for us. I’m trying to downsize and just don’t have room to keep everything I would want to.

I like CarlyD7s reply it is so true.

Bordersgirl, like other posters we are sorting the photos into 3 piles: his, hers and ours, to show them growing up and important events. Landscapes are out, unless particularly important places. Then I shall put them into an album ( or two!) for each of them and one for us. All part of the Swedish death cleaning! We move next week, so that has prompted action.

I was just thinking yesterday how the happiest time of my life was when my daughters were small and I had my complete family. I know it wasn’t all roses ,but gloss over the mess and hard work looking after them.
Now I only have part of my family,after losing my DH in 2008.and then my younger daughter 16 months later. . My remaining DD ,SIL and 2 GCs do live near ,but I don’t see them all that often as both nurses juggling life constantly.
My younger daughter left 2/beautiful GDs ,who are now 14 and 11 . They live 300miles away ,but am actually hoping to see them again in a few weeks ,after not seeing them for just over a year. Would give anything to have my complete family back again.

I miss mine, every single day. I will always miss them, but I am proud that I raised two wonderful independent women who live very successful lives.

Consider myself very lucky. My daughter and two grandsons share a house. She works full time and long hours so am here for the boys. I love it and am very close to both grandsons. My daughter and I get on really well too. Not sure I could live with my eldest though. In fact I know couldn’t. Love her dearly but sparks would fly.
I understand not for everyone but works for us.

My son has a lovely wife, a good life and I am very happy for him. They live just a 20 minute drive away. There are times though when I miss my little boy and I still get the pangs of separation pain when either they or we go abroad on holiday. Perhaps there will be grandchildren one day and I will be able to experience the joy of a little hand in mine again.

Both left home a few years ago. Both now married with children of their own. If anything I yearn to see the grandchildren as I can see in great detail their development. I love seeing the changes!! I was too exhausted as a mum to take it all in. ?

My OH and I have dogs and a motorhome to amuse us in the times we can’t do family catch ups. Time to get a hobby, me thinks?

dogsmother, I am losing my last boy who is going off to University and as I have been a parent for 35 years, I will find it very hard. However, I think it will be made easier because I am a hands on grandmother. My autistic grandson has just learned to say, "Nanny," and his parents sometimes bring him round when he starts to fret for me. In the past I only saw his parents on child minding days so now they have to pop in just to satisfy their young son means I get the pleasure of their company too. Silver linings and all that!