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AIBU

Walking alone.

(88 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Sun 15-Sep-19 11:55:19

This morning, before breakfast , a young girl was raped in our local park by a gang of men. This is quite unusual for the area but it makes me nervous about walking alone. My friend does her steps every day even in the dark evenings but I only go now when the park is busy.

M0nica Mon 30-Sep-19 08:17:27

There is a difference between 'expected' and compliance. I seem to remember at the time of the Yorkshire Ripper there was an immediate protest by many women to the policeman's advice and the policeman involved had to retract his advice.

I seem to remember he advised women not to go out at night without a male escort, positively Saudi Arabian!!

LondonGranny Mon 30-Sep-19 11:38:02

I did look for a link about abductors claiming their victim was girlfriend or wife but depressingly it was page after page of court depositions involving pimps in the USA beating up sex-workers and telling the police "She's my girlfriend" and the police going away again sad

lemongrove Mon 30-Sep-19 11:49:04

You have to remember the fear about the Yorkshire Ripper at the time.I used to visit my mother ( who lived barely a mile from his house, as it transpired!) and take the dog out for a walk for her as she was ill.She always said take the dog out and be back by 7.30, and that was around local streets.
No woman of any age is safe walking alone in the countryside.

LondonGranny Mon 30-Sep-19 12:37:09

Is a woman truly safe walking alone anywhere?

Oopsminty Mon 30-Sep-19 12:50:13

I walk alone. Day or night. Woods or town. Not so much town these days. Maybe I've just been lucky.

Hithere Mon 30-Sep-19 12:50:19

Londongranny

Not even a man is safe

dragonfly46 Mon 30-Sep-19 12:51:42

I have just been for a long walk alone. We have fields at the end of our road and I feel perfectly safe.

LondonGranny Mon 30-Sep-19 13:08:00

Hithere
True, but they're safer. I know young men are more at risk from injury in fights etc. Also a poster earlier said there's a rise in sexual attacks on young men but I suspect it's because they are now more likely to report it than they once were. One thing that's really made things worse are the massive cuts in Police budgets. Now reported crimes (of any kind) are far less likely to even be investigated.

Hithere Mon 30-Sep-19 13:11:37

Londongranny
?

bluebirdwsm Mon 30-Sep-19 13:23:01

To walk in isolated places whether in town or country can be naïve for a female on her own. I avoid it for various reasons as I know only too well what can happen, what does happen, what a single man or group of men are capable of and have seen/experienced/heard too much in life to do it. Long story...and a family member in the police force with a wealth of service and knowledge behind them.

A dog is not always a deterrent to a vicious and determined attacker either. They can be kicked aside, hurled away, badly hurt and not every dog is ferocious and brave. A lady in my area was murdered when walking her dog in local woods. No one was ever found or charged.

The world is unfair that's for sure.

Hithere Mon 30-Sep-19 15:48:13

Bluebird

Victim blaming only perpetuates the "boys will be boys" mentality.

M0nica Mon 30-Sep-19 19:29:01

To walk in isolated places whether in town or country is unsafe for anyone, not just women.

Having said that I think the danger is much less in the country where the myriad of footpaths that crisscross the countryside are only known to local people and in some places impassable.

I walk all the footpaths in my village alone and without a dog and never feel unsafe. All sorts of horrible things can happen to anybody anywhere, but in most cases exceptionally rarely, which is why such cases hit the headlines. If you are terrified of going anywhere that might be dangerous, then you would spend your life in bed, and who can say you are safe there? before dying of a coronary embolism caused by lack of exercise and movement.

Everyone needs to learn how to assess risk and make rational decisions based on the real statistical risk and not just based on stories that it could be damgerous if you walked somewhere at midnight on the night of the full moon when the zombies and ghouls are out at play.

nanou Mon 30-Sep-19 19:38:52

So sorry, truly terrible for the poor girl. What cowards! Who are those men or better still animals?
When I walk alone I usually have a small size hairspray in my pocket. I put some in my eyes by accident once and had it really hurt for 15 minutes. It gave me the idea to carry it around.

GabriellaG54 Tue 01-Oct-19 02:32:35

I always take a pepper spray when alone in less busy areas. I have, on occasion, taken a bright green, non-washable paint spray and used it once, about 3 years ago. Hair spray is good and comes in small cans.

SparklyGrandma Tue 01-Oct-19 11:21:52

In my area hardly any women walk alone in the more woody or park areas. When I need a walk, I travel to a nearby large town with a centre that’s on the flat. I have a walk around there and feel safe amongst lots of people. Bookended by a coffee, each end. ??

M0nica Tue 01-Oct-19 11:36:36

Went for my usual walk this morning around village and up a few footpaths in search of the last of the blackberries. Mt a couple of dog walkers as I went on my way. I was out for about an hour.

Alexa Tue 01-Oct-19 12:23:43

When i was a little girl I used to go long cycle runs in te countryside by myself This was during the war and there were soldiers billetted in our little town. I never heard of any rapes, and you know how children pick up emotional gossip by adults.
This was because in the war there was a common enemy and men did not view women as hostile beings or commodities.

Daisymae Tue 01-Oct-19 12:39:50

I truly can't believe that last sentence about women during the war. Literally millions of women and girls were raped by troops of all countries during and after the war.

M0nica Tue 01-Oct-19 13:41:37

There were certainly cases of rape where British and US troops stationed in this country were convicted of rape and, of course many more not reported because, generally women did not report rape then.

Gonegirl Tue 01-Oct-19 13:52:53

Monica that is exactly the kind of walk I always loved to do before I got all puffed out.

Never owned a pepper spray. grin

Daisymae Tue 01-Oct-19 14:26:36

Where I live people if all ages walk alone, with or without a dog. I would be much more concerned about getting to and from a multi storey at night than walking in the countryside. You have to assess the situation and make a reasonable choice, but you can't live in fear, otherwise we would never do anything without escort!

NfkDumpling Tue 01-Oct-19 14:29:45

I seem to remember reading that there are more attacks on young males walking alone than anyone else. I suspect it has always been so. I remember my mum saying she always carried a large heavy torch when she walked home alone from her stint firewatching in WW2 after she’d been accosted by some young American airmen.

LondonGranny Tue 01-Oct-19 14:38:55

Yes, my granny was accosted by a very drunk GI who put his arms around her and tried to kiss her. She pushed him over (not hard given how legless he was) and walked briskly away.

GabriellaG54 Tue 01-Oct-19 15:58:58

That scenario reminded me of Dick Emery's 'Oh you are awful....'

Alexa Tue 01-Oct-19 16:00:26

Daisymae, Women in enemy countries were raped. It was much less likely that women or any local people were abused by their allies or countrymen. I say this because I do believe the motive for rape is like the motive for acts of racial hatred: hostility and arrogance more than lust.