It sounds as if you have given up a lot for your OH, and feel he is not reciprocating. Unhappily, it does sound as if he's willing to accept that you have no status in your current life. I also can't understand what rights his employers have over your location but perhaps they have the same values as the country where you now live. However, you seem to have attracted OH's attention if he's made the phone call, so have a serious talk with him right now, perhaps over that cold drink. You haven't changed, you were an equal partner previously, so stress that there are unacceptable elements to your current life that need to be resolved. Condition 1, I'd suggest, is the phone. It is NOT too expensive for you to make an international call and is actually less ethical for you to use a work phone. If you sign up to WhatsApp it's free, or get a contract as suggested upthread. You can't have a phone contract in your own right so get him to agree immediately to sign a contract and give the phone to you. Condition 2, you can't have your own bank account so ensure you have equal access to a joint account, with you having joint right to manage the account. Probably not too different to how you managed it in the UK. Otherwise transfer money as required from his acc to one he opens now in his name for your sole use, or to your UK one - a bit more difficult to manage from abroad with some banks, but definitely not all of them. Condition 3, the house sales. Perhaps take a different approach to the house sales and deal with it as your current employment, for which he pays you (agree what this will be). Give yourself max working hours and rest periods so you don't overtire yourself and try to have more patience. It sounds as if you are almost there with your house, decide if you want to take over his house sale or not, if so ensure he signs enough letters to give you full control of it.
He says you are more pushy, so be pushy and regain some power. You do sound as if you would like to be with him so negotiate the solutions. I would guess he wants you to sort everything out because he doesn't have your confidence - I've sometimes pushed OH to do something and then he's made a mess of it - just because he's good at his job does not mean he's good at admin which is basically what house sales are. Fight the battles you can win now while you've got his attention and think how you can manage the work without feeling undervalued or overwhelmed. If this is not resolved to your satisfaction, go home for a 'vacation' and continue to sort it out while you are back. His employers need not know the reasons and cannot know whether you will be let back into the country so you can take as long as you want.
BBC Radio 4Extra Scheduling Shake-Up.
