It is strange that this should come up today, when I have much the same thoughts and also need to put them behind me. My MIL was a neurotic, unhappy woman, who blighted the lives of all who knew her. I will not catalogue her misdeeds here because this is not my thread , but what really riled me was the way she belittled her only child/son at every turn and her (obvious to everyone) preference for our DD1 and rejection of DD2 as surplus to requirements.
I had sort of put all this behind me but when DH developed Dementia, (and with it Incontinence) he fretted endlessly about his, by then deceased mother, and how she would 'tan his hide' or lock him in the cupboard if she found out he had wet the bed. He was living in the past and back to being a frightened wee boy.
DH died in September. His will stated that he should be buried in the family graves along with his GPs, parents and maiden Aunt, thus filling the last lair of the double plot. In the event he was cremated and his ashes interred there, but I have kept some back to be scattered at sea along with me. Nonetheless I have a deep resentment that even in death MIL got her son back. Her favourite DGD has orginised it all and ensured that "beloved husband of .......(me)" has been added to the gravestone.
Having written this down, it all looks trivial and silly, but I cannot forget. All the memories of happy times - wedding, births, christening, Christmases, holidays are spoiled by what she did to ruin these occasions.