Gransnet forums

AIBU

People who say 'remind me'

(80 Posts)
Beswitched Fri 26-Nov-21 20:52:51

Maybe I'm being petty but I hate it when you arrange to meet up with someone and they say 'now won't you remind me nearer the time'. It sounds like 'I'm so busy and important but you're not so it's up to you to remember'.

Someone said that to me a couple of weeks ago. We're supposed to be meeting tomorrow. I haven't reminded her and she hasn't been in touch and I haven't bothered to remind her.

I would normally text someone the day before we're due to meet but just feel a bit irritated that it was left entirely up to me.

Mollygo Fri 26-Nov-21 23:42:14

Thank heavens for phones. I put everything on my phone with an alert one day before and another 2 hours before. I update after the first reminder so it tells me when to set off.

annodomini Fri 26-Nov-21 23:55:31

There is, it seems, a way in which I can synch Alexa with my phone's calendar so that I can be be given verbal reminders instead of having to look them up on my phone or on the paper calendar hanging up in the kitchen. I must ask one or other of my DSs how to do it. Or perhaps I should just ask Alexa! My dentist is very good about reminding me when an appointment is due - two weeks before and again two days before.

freedomfromthepast Sat 27-Nov-21 00:00:03

I sometimes use double alerts as well mollygo. Sometimes I will set one 24 hours in advance, sometimes a few hours in advance, but I always put on 30-45 minutes in advance, depending on how far I have to drive.

annodomini - I will nee to figure that out. I love Alexa. She is the only person in my house who listens to me when I tell her to turn the lights off. grin

Beswitched Sat 27-Nov-21 08:12:50

Thing is I would always text so someone the day before to check they're still OK for tomorrow.
And I totally understand that people forget sometimes. We all have busy lives.
It's the sort of command to be the one that remembers that bugs me. It does imply that you're the one with the less busy life and it's your job to make sure the meet up happens.

If it's a really really close friend who's inclined to be forgetful about everything and says 'now you know me, won't you remind me the day before' it's OK.

But this is someone I see a handful of times a year.

H1954 Sat 27-Nov-21 08:22:35

My OH and I say it to each other but for arrangements made with friends and relatives I put a reminder on the calendar in my phone, it's written on the kitchen calendar and also put in our personal diaries. That my sound like overkill to some but it really irks me when people let us down that I don't want to become that "unreliable person".

Dickens Sat 27-Nov-21 10:21:19

... if it's important enough, they'll remember.

LauraNorderr Sat 27-Nov-21 10:34:10

Completely agree that we should each be responsible for our social calendar. If someone asked me to remind them I’d say ‘I have enough trouble remembering for myself, put a note on your phone or in your diary, now take care, cheerio’.

FarNorth Sat 27-Nov-21 10:42:58

Hetty58

Oh dear, I rely on being reminded - or I may forget and not turn up. No insult is intended if I just say 'remind me'.

How do you suppose the other person manages to remember?
Writes it in a diary or calendar?
Or sets a phone alarm?
Do that.

My response to someone saying 'Remind me' is 'I might but don't count on it'.

Chardy Sat 27-Nov-21 11:07:56

Since retiring, I've become so forgetful. I don't forget which day/time I'm meeting someone, I just don't know what day today is. Sounds sarcastic, but sorry, that's absolutely the truth.

Ro60 Sat 27-Nov-21 11:47:33

Another one here becoming forgetful. ? I suppose it depends how disappointed you would be if she had forgotten.
No harm in a quick 'looking forward to seeing you tomorrow '
We're all down in the dumps at the moment.

I remember a verse/saying:
"Here we are suffering strife & pain,
Over the road they're doing the same"
Off to post a very dear friend's birthday card - I'd forgotten ?

kircubbin2000 Sat 27-Nov-21 11:50:05

My friend does this and when I mention it again she says what day is that again?
I feel that it is not important enough for her to remember as she never forgets her other engagements.

silverlining48 Sat 27-Nov-21 15:01:57

It is annoying and a little bit rude.

silverlining48 Sat 27-Nov-21 15:04:22

I put everything in a diary as soon as arrangements are made so that I wont forget, why can’t they.

rockgran Sat 27-Nov-21 15:35:47

If I don't remember to put it on the calendar it isn't going to happen! Even then I have to remember to look at the calendar!

Artaylar Sat 27-Nov-21 16:34:15

Out of DH and myself, it's me that pretty much takes care of all of our 'life admin' so there are very things that he needs to remember.

I remember one time when he'd forgotten something that he needed to do that was quite important and when I said something to him about it, he just turned round and said - it wasnt my fault, my PA forgot to remind me. No prizes for guessing who his 'PA' is.....grrrrrr

lemongrove Sat 27-Nov-21 19:19:24

sodapop

Oh dear I say "take care" quite a lot Urmstongran didn't realise it sounded condescending, I just want the recipient to know I do care about them

Me too Soda, I say or write it and mean it, and am happy for others to do the same with me.
Nobody has ever said this ‘remind me’ thing, I make arrangements or a friend does, and go along at the allotted time. It’s up to both parties to make a note of it.

lemongrove Sat 27-Nov-21 19:22:17

Ro60

Another one here becoming forgetful. ? I suppose it depends how disappointed you would be if she had forgotten.
No harm in a quick 'looking forward to seeing you tomorrow '
We're all down in the dumps at the moment.

I remember a verse/saying:
"Here we are suffering strife & pain,
Over the road they're doing the same"
Off to post a very dear friend's birthday card - I'd forgotten ?

Thanks Ro that’s just reminded me to buy a birthday card for a friend ( and then post it of course)?

Kim19 Sat 27-Nov-21 19:46:27

If it's really I'm
Urgently friend will remember

Kim19 Sat 27-Nov-21 19:50:21

Again! If it's really important, your friend will remember. If not, she's not much of a friend methinks.

Deedaa Sat 27-Nov-21 19:52:05

I do say it to DD sometimes because we tend to arrange things way ahead and they do slip my mind. Things I arrange with friends I usually write down but I always optimistically think I'm going to remember arrangements with DD.

Elrel Sat 27-Nov-21 20:50:26

I used to think ‘take care’ was silly. Since Covid appeared I often say it (and mean it) and am surprised how many people say it (first) to me. It’s a small way of sharing common concerns of humanity, saying ‘we’re all in this together’.

Kim19 Sat 27-Nov-21 20:54:14

My lovely Mum used to say 'Take care of yourself. You're precious' so I tend to align it with that when somebody does the abbreviated version so it's ok.

Beswitched Sat 27-Nov-21 21:04:45

I think it's very nice when people say take care. Have no idea how it relates to people saying remind me.

One is a caring comment, the other is a flippant 'I might not even remember' remark.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Nov-21 21:10:32

Sorry Beswitched that was my fault. I brought up the ‘take care’ when I said that like ‘remind me’, it just irritates me.

Anyway I now love ‘take risks’ with our eldest. ?

MissAdventure Sat 27-Nov-21 21:19:22

I'm a "remind me" person.
I will forget, or get the day/time mixed up, otherwise.