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AIBU

Too many toys

(80 Posts)
Jaffacake2 Thu 10-Mar-22 07:51:00

Spent yesterday at daughters house helping with change around of bedrooms so that grandchildren have a room each. Previously they were sharing with bunk beds and 3rd bedroom was a playroom. They are 6 and 4 years old.
I was shocked by the amount of toys they have. I know I have contributed at Xmas and birthdays but it's not until you get to empty a playroom that it hits you. Rather disappointed that remote controls are not with expensive toys so don't get played with . Somewhere in a toy box mum !
Think there is going to be a trip to a charity shop to declutter at some time. Just want to go back today and find remotes but don't think I should interfere.
Maybe it comes from having very few toys myself as a child. A doll, stuffed rabbit and a troll horse were cherished along with a couple of board games and a scooter.
What do others think about toys for grandchildren ? Do they have too many ?

Primrose53 Tue 11-Apr-23 22:16:29

The thing is kids now get toys on every shopping trip rather than just Christmas and birthdays. I see it every week …. Toys go in the trolley along with the rest of the groceries.

My niece and her partner go totally overboard on their kids on birthdays and Christmas and they buy and receive from all their friend too. Imagine the piles of toys! 6 months later their brand new unopened toys are on car boot sales. Crazy.

I used to volunteer in a charity shop and the beautiful toys and books that were donated was heartbreaking. I know the charity benefited but I wonder where this will all end.

Ali08 Tue 11-Apr-23 21:56:43

Open bank/savings accounts for them and put birthday, Christmas or whenever money in them. The money is then there if they want or need something, or for the future!
Little gifts can still be given but ot ones that overload the house!

GagaJo Mon 10-Apr-23 14:12:28

I try to buy my DGS STEM toys. He's an engineer at heart and plays for hours with building / making. The other stuff is just window dressing, but boy, is there ever too much of it. I'm currently filling bags for the charity shop, aiming to get rid of 1/3 of it, but he has a birthday around the corner so it'll just get added to again.

Marydoll Mon 10-Apr-23 13:59:57

dragonfly46

My DGC have too many toys so I try and buy them something more useful for birthdays and Christmas. My DS and DiL really appreciate this.

This is what we do too. DGD was becoming overwhelmed, she got so much. A token gift or cash to go in her bank account.

NanaDana Mon 10-Apr-23 13:50:21

Yes, I think that many will have the same experience as regards Grandchildren with a houseful of toys. I think that we've gone from one extreme to another in just three generations. Can you imagine a child today being even mildly interested in receiving a Christmas stocking containing a sugar mouse, chocolate money, a kaleidoscope, a tangerine, a Happy Families card game and a three colour torch? All treasured in my own childhood. There is a happy medium, but I can't see that arriving any time soon. So yes, far too many toys these days, and just yet another example of conspicuous consumerism/consumption. Nevertheless, it's also sad to say that despite the current trend, there are still some children out there with virtually nothing, and with the current economic crisis things can only get worse for them.

Bubby1 Mon 10-Apr-23 13:31:01

Hello,
I am new to this site. I am looking for some ride on, push and pull along toys for my 2 year old grandchild who us visiting from abroad. I live in London in the NW3 area.
Please email me if you can help at:[email protected]
Thanks,
Sharon

Beswitched Sat 12-Mar-22 21:41:38

twiglet77

My eldest GS is five. An 'only' child, his mum is a divorced high-earning professional who certainly over-compensates with 'stuff' as she is so pushed for time. He seems to have everything and more, and so many duplications. I was a little sad to visit them several weeks after Christmas and notice the bag of presents I'd given him was still under a side table, they'd all been unwrapped in front of me but clearly not looked at since. I always aim for 'something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read', but this Christmas I'd got extra books instead of a 'need' - there's simply nothing he actually needs.

He goes to after-school club until 6pm because DD is at work. She works on emails and phone calls from home most evenings, so she can rarely actually play WITH him, he's more likely to be watching something on TV or the iPad between getting home, having supper and then bath and a too-late bedtime. He does always have a story at bedtime, and reads his school book with mummy, then his weekend is divided between his parents and they both take him out somewhere, to friends with children, or to the beach or the woods, so again he isn't usually at home to play with any of this stuff. I'm at work in the evenings so I can't even have him after school.

I don't know the answer. Of course he loves to unwrap presents and he is polite with his thanks for them, but I think he is utterly overwhelmed with toys that he'll never actually use. The outdoor things are great, but with a trampoline, bike, scooter, basketball net, battery car, goal net, pool, slide, swing... one is enough. And playing alone isn't always much fun.

But a contribution to his savings account won't make him smile at this age, will it? Nor a ticket to the zoo for some weeks hence. So he'll keep getting more toys and books than he'll ever play with, more clothes than he'll ever wear, and if he ever takes up a super-expensive pastime like horse-riding, perhaps he will actually be easier to buy for!

I dunno. A plastic toy and a 2 minute smile versus a shared experience or something they'll get genuine pleasure from and remember afterwards...

Mistyfluff8 Sat 12-Mar-22 20:24:27

I always ask my daughters what can I get the grandchildren Also saw one little boy have so many toys he never actually played just flitted from one toy to another .I look after 3boys they have absolutely so many toys but cannot play on their own or use their imagination

Thisismyname1953 Sat 12-Mar-22 13:14:50

My DD has a friend with 2 boys under 12. For years their DGM has for Christmas bought them an annual family pass to Chester Zoo . They love it and get great use out of it . Better than even more toys.

Nanniejude Sat 12-Mar-22 09:44:50

It’s quite sad because the most precious thing to give them is time, time to play with them. Plastic rubbish toys from china end up in toy boxes and then landfill !

twiglet77 Fri 11-Mar-22 23:07:12

My eldest GS is five. An 'only' child, his mum is a divorced high-earning professional who certainly over-compensates with 'stuff' as she is so pushed for time. He seems to have everything and more, and so many duplications. I was a little sad to visit them several weeks after Christmas and notice the bag of presents I'd given him was still under a side table, they'd all been unwrapped in front of me but clearly not looked at since. I always aim for 'something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read', but this Christmas I'd got extra books instead of a 'need' - there's simply nothing he actually needs.

He goes to after-school club until 6pm because DD is at work. She works on emails and phone calls from home most evenings, so she can rarely actually play WITH him, he's more likely to be watching something on TV or the iPad between getting home, having supper and then bath and a too-late bedtime. He does always have a story at bedtime, and reads his school book with mummy, then his weekend is divided between his parents and they both take him out somewhere, to friends with children, or to the beach or the woods, so again he isn't usually at home to play with any of this stuff. I'm at work in the evenings so I can't even have him after school.

I don't know the answer. Of course he loves to unwrap presents and he is polite with his thanks for them, but I think he is utterly overwhelmed with toys that he'll never actually use. The outdoor things are great, but with a trampoline, bike, scooter, basketball net, battery car, goal net, pool, slide, swing... one is enough. And playing alone isn't always much fun.

But a contribution to his savings account won't make him smile at this age, will it? Nor a ticket to the zoo for some weeks hence. So he'll keep getting more toys and books than he'll ever play with, more clothes than he'll ever wear, and if he ever takes up a super-expensive pastime like horse-riding, perhaps he will actually be easier to buy for!

Jools22 Fri 11-Mar-22 22:07:41

Yes of course they have too many toy and my wife & I add to the GCs pile all the time. Let’s not worry the years will pass far too quickly and then the toys can be passed on.

osprey Fri 11-Mar-22 21:01:55

My gc have too many toys as my dd exs family buys them far too much which they cant play with as they are kept at his house and they dont see him.very often. My dd tends to get them experiences instead or special days out -they are happy with this

saltnshake Fri 11-Mar-22 20:22:43

My daughter has a subscription with a toy library. The children can choose the toy they want for that month. Toys are returned. If the children love the toy they can keep it for longer. They can also get play costumes. Some toys have proven to be a big hit and have been bought, others were one day wonders and returned. Parents have to make sure all the bits go back. I was sceptical at first but I now think for young children it is a brilliant idea.

Scentia Fri 11-Mar-22 20:07:00

My DD and DSiL completely banned us from buying toys for the children unless we keep them at our house. She is very Montessori when it comes to play and likes a small selection of toys and swaps them about. I always buy clothes or put money in their bank.

GrandmaSeaDragon Fri 11-Mar-22 19:18:23

Far too many! We’ve always followed our 2DDs instructions as to presents and have tried to avoid as much plastic as possible. We give DGC premium bonds + a present to unwrap but now as they all approach double figures, it will be money for them to chose. Both homes are overloaded with previous gifts from all the family, some never get opened or played with once. Both my DDs sell unwanted/unused toys every so often. Here we have a cupboard full of Fisher Price and other 1980s toys which they have loved playing with, but DDs have declined to keep them for their grandchildren! My brother and I in the 50s didn’t have many toys (some were hand-me-downs) but I do admit to still having my Bayko Building set and floral garden set.

Sara1954 Fri 11-Mar-22 19:05:26

I remember my gran saying that ours had far too much, I really can’t imagine what she’d make of our grandchildren.
It would remind my grandad to tell us how he had a lump of coal and an orange, and was grateful.

singingnutty Fri 11-Mar-22 18:54:12

When ours were little we had very little money so didn’t buy many toys but had some passed down to us from family. However my MIL still managed to comment on how there were too many toys - it was ever thus! We still have a few old favourites - a couple of wooden jigsaws, a picnic set and, of course, some Lego. Strangely enough I can’t remember having many toys at all when I was a child. I remember my brother having toy cars. I think I spent most of my time reading.

varian Fri 11-Mar-22 18:53:32

When we were children we had hardly any stuff.

Our children had more stuff.

Our grandchildren have loads of stuff-probably too much stuff and we are mostly responsible for that.

Our family Xmases are an orgy of generosity - or indulgence.

There is no doubt that our much loved grandchildren will never have the regard for the cost of stuff that we did or our children did.

Treetops05 Fri 11-Mar-22 18:44:38

I decided after Christmas that I would do the 4 pressie rule,

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
And something to read.

Thay way my GS will get 4 good presents rather than 20+ 'bits'

JeSuis Fri 11-Mar-22 18:19:51

I put a certain amount of money into a fund for the parents. They then can tell me what they would like the children to have for b’ days or Christmas. That way the parents choose and the babes get! It saves such a lot of wasted money on toys that they never play with.So far it has worked out so well,and the children are really happy with something they like, instead of useless things! I have five great-grands,who are happy small children.The last one has got one of these play trays, and he makes all sorts of things in it, or on it! ?.

Hetty58 Fri 11-Mar-22 18:02:20

(Unless they want something in particular - I'll give them a voucher to choose their own present.)

Hetty58 Fri 11-Mar-22 17:58:51

Jaffacake2, yes, one set of grandchildren were 'drowning in toys' at one point. No, they didn't look after them or value them either. Many were put into boxes in the shed - as 'outside, summer toys' and others went to the charity shop.

I had a clear out here, too - and now they keep asking where the toy till and musical plane are!

Sara1954 Fri 11-Mar-22 17:51:50

I give my eldest two money, birthday and Christmas, but can’t resist buying a few pretty bits for my granddaughter.
The next two send me links to what they’d like, I stick to it, I used to add bits and pieces, till I realised that they didn’t like anything I chose!
The two young ones get toys in moderation, clothes, I used to take huge pleasure in buying books till I realised nobody read them.
Having three of them living here for the last two years has given me a huge insight into what a waste of money so many things are.

Kryptonite Fri 11-Mar-22 17:33:52

Mine only want wooden toys (parents' dictat). Some toys we've given have been discarded by parents very quickly, so we wonder why we bother. Birthdays and Christmas we must stick to the list provided.