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AIBU

To think in 20 years we won't do it any more?

(61 Posts)
OldHag Sat 01-Apr-23 21:48:44

Bet that title got you all wondering!

What I'm thinking, is that in 20 years, possibly even sooner, people will have stopped talking to each other altogether? The reason I say this, is that in talking to my DD last night, she was telling me about a situation that had occurred between her and one of her adult children, which had made her really cross. She explained that the conversation had all taken place via text, and I tried as gently as I could, to suggest that perhaps, as has happened between myself and her, there had been a misunderstanding on one or both of their parts, and that maybe she would be better to call or FaceTime, so as to discuss the matter properly. She cut me down by saying 'Mother, no one phones anyone these days, all communication is done by text, I bet even you don't phone people any more?' I admitted that she's partly right, in as much as I do tend to email more than text, due to us living in an area where the mobile signal is poor, but the reason I email is because in the days of landlines, you never knew if you were going to catch someone in the middle of something, ie, a bath, cooking dinner, or even having sex. So nowadays if it's something related to business, or just a relatively unimportant thing, I email so that I know the person I want to talk to, will get the message at their convenience. However, if it's a friend, I will often email in order to arrange a good time to have a chat, either by phone, FaceTime or Messenger.

Tonight I've been on MN, and someone was saying they'd made arrangements to have friends round, but was worried that they weren't going to come, as she hadn't pinned down a time when making the arrangements, and they hadn't responded to her texts. Lots of people were saying just call them, but when I said I felt that people just don't seem to want to actually speak to each other any more, again I was told that if someone doesn't answer your text, it's because they don't want to, and they're busy making an excuse to let you down, so you don't call them due to pride!!

I'm sure most of us have also seen couples, or even complete families out in restaurants, not actually talking to each other any more, but all with their eyes glued to their phones, and I wouldn’t doubt that if asked, a lot of parents would say that they would have to surgically amputate, to get a phone off of their kids.

So, having explained the reason for my question, I'm just wondering how many of you still prefer to talk to friends, either by phone or video call, or whether these younger people are right, and that no one actually talks to anyone any more, and, if you agree that this is true, do you think that it’s a good thing? Personally, I hate it, but maybe I am as old fashioned as my daughter told me I was!!

Romola Mon 03-Apr-23 23:23:17

Bravissimo Nanadana

Saggi Mon 03-Apr-23 23:26:11

When I have my family to dinner …not often , I tell them “ no mobiles at table, if you can’t leave it alone …you dont eat! “
Also my daughter twlks her two kids 15 and 11 leave all devices downstairs when they go to bed….they’ve been doing g it since they first had devices at age ten …they’re now used to it, and leave them on charge , downstairs , without being asked! I’m impressed. And to add they don’t even have a tv… as it’s total rubbish . A lot of talking to each other goes on in her house . You just have to lay the ground rules at an early age!

nanna8 Mon 03-Apr-23 23:50:18

It used to be considered extremely rude to use your phone when out in restaurants or at a meal with friends. That idea seems to have gone out the window,now. Anything goes. I still think it is rude.

Sara1954 Tue 04-Apr-23 07:22:55

Shopping with my granddaughter at the weekend, we were looking for a shop she wanted to go into. But despite wandering around for ages failed to find it.
I said I’d go and ask someone, she seemed horrified by this suggestion, and insist we google it, and follow online instructions.
It was a good idea, but what was strange was her horror of us interacting with a stranger, when it seemed the obvious answer to me.

M0nica Tue 04-Apr-23 09:36:07

Twenty years from now the world will belong to those who are fluent and good communicators. It always has and always will.

Perhaps more parents should relise that, and start talking themselves and make their children communicate face to face using their mouths as well.

biglouis Sat 08-Apr-23 09:21:47

Ive always enjoyed talking on the phone. I can ring someone, get another person (because the object of my call is out) and still be talking 20 minutes later!

My grandmother used to say I was "vaccinated with a gramophone needle" although most people nowadays would not know what that meant.

During the first lockdown I wanted to contribute something to the community so I volunteered to speak to some "phone friends" regularly each week. Some conversations were brief - just to check in case they needed anything. Others I got to know quite well and we discussed a range of subjects.

I find texting a very akward and restricting way to communicate. Typing on that weeny little screen when I have a whole tribe of computers with perfectly good keyboards.

Norah Sat 08-Apr-23 13:47:44

biglouis I find texting a very akward and restricting way to communicate. Typing on that weeny little screen when I have a whole tribe of computers with perfectly good keyboards.

I don't have a mobile, but I see my daughters text, indeed it looks so difficult and restricting. I love my computer, can do any task.

M0nica Sat 08-Apr-23 15:20:41

I am another who cannot get on with a tiny screen. I have numb fingertips on my right hand and I have dyspraxia, which means, as anyone who reads my posts on GN knows that my fingers do not do what my brain tells them to do and 123, even if I say it as I type will be entered as 312.

biglouis Sat 08-Apr-23 23:48:05

Texting does have its uses. The person who cleans for me has such a strong Scottish accent that I find them difficult to understand on the phone so we tend to just text. Still I much prefer email.

M0nica Mon 10-Apr-23 10:39:28

I agree rtexting is very useful. I just wish I found it easier to do.