What to wear at a funeral

Soutra - fabulous story about the greyhound at the funeral.

But I always maintain eye contact whether interviewer or interviewee !

[Soutra I'm the same. It's the hymns that get me going.
I once visited a church I wanted to see. There was funeral finishing. I sat quietly at the back to wait.
They started the last hymn and I started to cry.
I had no idea whose funeral it was!

Soutra . I once knew a greyhound called Bob, he could howl like a banshee and although a handsome boy he had been returned several times to the rescue because of this. Happily Bob was finally adopted by a cremation technician. I have to say that neither of my greyhounds bark let alone howl.

I can usually hold it together until the hymns start but at MIL's serviceit was the hymns which provided the light relief. A very dear friend had had to bring his greyhound Albert with him in the car as there was no one to let him out at home. We couldn't leave him at MIL's house as he would have scoffed all the "funeral meats"but the Rector of the parish church said he could stay in the vestry. He was very good until the first hymn when he must have lifted up his head and joined in!! He howled his way through subsequent hymns and we laughed through our tears - MIL had a great sense of fun and would have loved it!

Back in the 80's the wife of a friend died very suddenly in her 40's. The widower decided we should all wear our brightest clothes and he wore a bright pink velvet jacket and purple trousers because that was how she liked him (Hippies!) It was all very colourful and as they were not religious friends just stood up and talked about what she meant to them. It was different, but really represented her as a person.

If an interviewee maintained constant eye contact with the panel today I should think they'd all be reaching for the garlic and crucifixes Galen

We weren't outside much today, I wore my trousers plus diamonds (well a ring). All went fine, although we aren't family, just neighbours. So why did I cry so much during one of the hymns? I cannot maintain a stiff upper lip like H.M.
They played some Acker Bilk right at the end which he loved.

The conditions coming back were monsoon-like.

Thankyou all for your advice.

JessM you'd be astonished at the things I was taught at school.
Eg. At an interview, stand in front of your chair, then edge backwards until you feel it behind your leg, then sink gracefully into it. Malntain eye comtact with the panel at all times,
Never kiss a boy unless you're going to marry him
Lastly. You should not meet boys!

I wore a. Lack suit and white top to my husbands funeral and of course, the lovely triple string of pearls that had been his last present to me.

Well, I often wear black, so probably will anyway, it was just the trouser/skirt thing, but trousers it is (wool) with boots as it is both cold and wet.
Wellies are already in the car.

Oh and of course I wore pearls Galen!

We were at a family funeral in East Lothian in January (cold and wet!) and the majority of the women ( probab mostly in their 60s were in black trousers and grey/ black and white or camel coats or jackets. One was in a wonderful deep violet but none were in head to toe black.

I wore grey trousers with a long black tunic/jumper top with a bright turquoise pashmina to J's funeral which was in February. TBQH I didn't notice what anyone else wore and wasn't really bothered so long as they didn't rock up in jeans. I just wanted to inject a bit of colour and he would have liked that. I saw photos of Roger Lloyd Pack's funeral yesterday - what a scruffy lot most of the mourners were, but I suppose they are all ACtOrs, so anything goes but many of them looked as if they had fallen out of bed straight into the Church . At a winter funeral you will probably wear a coat so it really doesn't matter what's underneath!

No, it's not outside. But very cold and wet here today.

Gosh that really does sound like faux pas of the year galen wearing ones rubies to a funeral. Must store that in my memory bank. Did you go to Swiss finishing school? I always thought you went to medical school.
Mac compulsory margaret - hope for your sake there is not a graveside phase today. Last funeral i went to was confused to be given a little coloured ribbon thing to pin onto coat. Turns out it was the team colours of his favourite football club.

I've never heard that! Must get the diamonds out of the vault. They do say pearls for tears don't they.

Just don't wear coloured stones. Emeralds, rubies etc, pearls are ok as are diamonds.
Don't know where I read that , but I did somewhere.

Just been skimming through this thread as we have to go to a funeral of a neighbour this afternoon. I would normally wear a skirt but the weather is appalling, so I think, having read some posts, that trousers will be fine. My smart mac is black anyway.

Thanyou, Gnetters

At the funeral of a good friend the music as we left the crematorium was to the tune "When the saints go marching in" but the words were as sung on the Hibees terracing - where he was a regular. Everyone left with a smile on their face.

Tom Lehrer - Yes! I hadn't thought of him. I must start writing my instructions sooner rather than later...

Not at all - excellent choice - I sing it to my GS, so at least he'd know the words! I want at least one piece to make people smile - maybe something by Jake Thackery, or Tom Lehrer's 'poisoning pigeons in the park' or 'masochism tango'!

Arty I want to have 'Always look on the bright side of life' at my funeral. Do you think that would be insensitive or would they see the 'bright' side?

Don't know what happened there! Doing a double take! Sorry!

We attended the funeral of our oldest friend this year. His wife did not specify a dress code - I think she assumed that, whatever people chose to wear, it would be appropriate and respectful without being too sober. And so it was. About half the ladies wore trousers and it was so hot that anyone who had brought a jacket, including me, left them in their cars. It didn't seem to cause offence to anyone. I always make sure that DH has a proper hankie when we go to a funeral - he usually needs it! I don't care what people wear when I go - I'll just be grateful that they've taken the trouble to turn up and see me off! They had better get the music right though or I'll come back and haunt them! (Could this be a subject for another thread? Or is it too gloomy?)

We attended the funeral of our oldest friend this year. His wife did not specify a dress code - I think she assumed that, whatever people chose to wear, it would be appropriate and respectful without being too sober. And so it was. About half the ladies wore trousers and it was so hot that anyone who had brought a jacket left them in their cars. I always make sure that DH has a proper hankie when we go to a funeral - he usually needs it! I don't care what people wear when I go - I'll just be grateful that they've taken the trouble to turn up and see me off!

I buy my hankies at charity shops! Sometimes a nicely packed box appears around Christmas time. It is becoming the fashion here in Germany for the deceased to want no funeral- indeed to want only the family quietly gathered at the grave side. In this case it is really irrelevant what anyone is wearing.

There is a saying here: 'it is better to give with warm hands' and MIL gave us all pieces of her lovely jewellery several years before she died at 98. When we gathered around the family grave in Munich, I noticed that we women were all wearing her rings and necklaces, without any of us mentioning it beforehand.
As to wearing black it is the easiest colour to expect teenagers to wear as they have a wardobe full ot it.