Disparity between presents for DGC.

We usually kept back a couple of presents until Boxing Day - it keeps the excitement going. One year, my daughter bought her usual shed-load of toys and put some away at the back of her wardrobe and completely forgot them. She found them in February, and they were greeted with rapture as the excitement of Christmas had waned.
I was exceptionally lucky in one set of 'the other grandparents'. My daughter's mother-in-law is one of the nicest people I have ever met and I never felt any competition to be the 'most loved' grandmother. Sadly, she now has Alzheimer's and doesn't recognise her grandchildren.
My other daughter's MIL was an absolute bitch who never bought the children anything and would have resented any woman that her son married.
My own MIL used to knit the girls horrible jumpers in cheap, scratchy wool, which they refused to wear apart from the day we visited her.

Fortunately my DDs MiL had same views about present giving as myself. A smallish present on the day along with some stocking fillers and some money in the bank. I do not have a lot of cash, but also I don't think it does kids good to have too much. Even when I was married and well off the kids always got a reasonable amount but were confused when friends were inundated with stuff.

When the Gkids came along, MiL and I agreed what the strategy would be so no conflict there but when my ex's wife appeared, the huge bags of toys and clothes of every description was ridiculous. I was cross because of the excess quite frankly for the first couple of years and so was my opposite number but we tried not to show it.....about three or four years in, the step gran has learned to temper things and with the addition of third Gkid now probably realises that it all gets a bit much and considering there are others on the way, it is better to rein in a bit overall and put any spare cash away til they are older.

The thing that does upset me is the complete lack of thanks or even acknowledgement of the cards, parcels and money sent abroad each year to son, DiL and two g kids until I ask a few months down the line and its...oh! Yes we did get them, didn't we tell you? Grrrrrr!

I have to say I am totally perplexed by all this angst about presents for grandchildren. I had one grandparent, my children had one grandparent, there were no expectations. I give my grandchildren the presents I want to give them and their other grandparents do likewise. It's not a competition and if your grandchildren are steered to make it so then that's a problem of the grandparents' making. This, in the greater scheme of things, is not a big deal and giving any indication that it is, which children will pick up on, is not a good idea. Sorry, rant over

Just a thought: how many of you here felt this was a problem for your parents/grandparents?

I know that I do spend a great deal more than DS's in laws but I buy clothes, coats and shoes. The toys are the smallest part of the gift. GC usually greet the clothes with "boring" but I don't mind because Santa brings the toys not Grandma. DIL tells me what the children are in need of and I try to follow her wishes regarding style and colour. I really don't worry what other GPs think, my money to spend as I like and I like to spend on GC

Thank you all for your posts.

None of our grandchildren have all their presents from Father Christmas. They have stocking fillers from Father Christmas and then presents from family, for which they always write thank you notes.

DD1 has always had a family party for the children's birthdays which is when we have the remarks. I rarely ask my children what to get their children as I think that way they only get their mother's ideas. Some of my children's best presents when they were young were from their slightly 'off the wall' aunt. She was also responsible for some of the worst!!

The other grandmother and I have, since the children were born, looked after them for a day a week so she should be able to think of something.

I do periodically buy all the grandchildren clothes but not stuff they 'need'. We will continue to buy what we want to give them and hope she stops embarrassing us and her son and daughter-in-law.