How to express all this love and loss at a funeral

I think you said it there kiora. That was really moving and obviously from the heart!

I'm sorry fir the loss of your uncle - I wish I had one like him.

I think you've got most of it in your OP.

You could start with ...Well what can I say about Uncle ....

^He drank..a lot he smoked ...a lot, he swore...a lot. He never ate a healthy thing in his life, he paid a heavy price for for all the above. I asked a few months before he died if he would change anything ( he was suffering very badly by this stage and on oxygen 24/7 he couldn't walk more than a dozen steps.) He told me no life's for living and I lived it up. he was faithful to his wife for over 50 years . He was a loving and generous father and an indulgent grandfather. He adored his extended family He was generous...to a fault, he could be called on day or night to get you out of a jam. If he loved you, you knew without a doubt that you were loved. He really believed that we his family were the most amazing people, he thought we were beautiful
( most of us aren't) clever(even less of aren't) his pride in us could be embarrassing.^

Finish by talking to your uncle.....Uncle ...you were an amazing person and we're all going to miss you.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was write and read the eulogy at my grandson's funeral. You should just sit down and write from the heart.
Yes, you will cry but that's part of the process.

Others simply read a poem. There are some lovely ones out there. Perhaps you can find something suitable instead?

Kiora Do not do a poem unless you are brilliant at it, they can sound trite.

Say exactly what you have just told us! Perhaps finding another way of toning down the drinking and smoking. People who knew him and loved him will understand.
You put it very well in your post.

Everyone else has said the same while I was composing my reply on this flipping tablet. :-)

You have said it so well already Kiora, and everyone will understand your sorrow

I was asked to give the eulogy for a friend who died aged 64 from lung cancer, she had been a smoker for over 40 years. She was also a larger than life character, alternatively wonderful and infuriating.

I just said it as she was, all her good points, her love of life - and the aspects of her that drove people mad. It was said with love and tolerance. I cleared it with her family before I made it and they were very happy that I was not pretending she was a plaster saint. The things that made her great were also the aspects of her personality that infuriated people. Your uncle sounds the same. You cannot divide them.

You have said it in your initial post, Kiora. Say exactly that on the day.

I agree, say it as you said it on here! I hope you manage to deliver it without weeping.

What you've written is perfect.

The advice I'd give you is this, having had to deliver eulogies on a number of occasions:

Practise saying it aloud on many occasions. Say it with an audience of your husband or children and that will get the tears flowing. By the tenth time, you will be able to say the words having cried yourself out and the kinaesthetic awareness of just delivering the words will stay with you to be called on at the funeral.

The description of your beloved uncle in your post conveys exactly who he was and as I read it, your love for him and the heartache you feel now,that he is gone is very clear. I think this is all you need to say.

Your post was very moving Kiaora and I'm so very sorry for your loss

The first line of a eulogy is the hardest, maybe you start by saying something like.

Today we are here to bury Uncle.... No that is not right, we are only burying his body. The man, my uncle, he is still very much alive in everyone who was priviledged to know him. Then I would say word for word exactly what you have written her.

Nobody on this site can helped but be touched by your sincerity and love for your uncle. You have managed to bring him alive for a group of strangers. You don't need a poem or words of someone who never knew him. I agree with those who say practice at home. Also have a stiff drink just before you start to steady your nerves.

I think you have described your lovely uncle beautifully, Kiora. I'm sorry for your loss, but pleased for you that you had this wonderful relative in your life. You could not say anything better than your words above.

You are lucky to have had someone like that in your life, kiora. I agree with the others, what you said above is perfect and if you try to do anything else, it will come out wrong because it won't be how you really feel.

And thank you Micelf (twice in one day) for introducing kinaesthetic awareness into my life. Just had to google it. And condolences Kiora.

After reading your post I feel as though I knew your Uncle Kiora.
Or I wish I had. What a fine chap.

I agree with the others. You couldn't do better than repeating your post.
Your uncle sounds a lovely man. Condolences Kiora

Condolences Kiora
You spoke from the heart and described a very caring person.

Thank you all you have been magnificent. I have done as most of you have suggested.starting with "today we are here to bury .............no that's not right. Then worked through the list. I will write it in bite size bits on postcards and read one at a time. I too looked up kinaesthetic awareness and so that will be helpful. Knowing how to stand. I have had a look at the church on google with a virtual tour so am aware of the setup. I have read it to my children. it takes about 3 minutes I suppose four or five if I'm upset. Your right I was very lucky to have him and to have been so very loved by him. His memory is wrapped around me like a soft comfort blanket. Thanks again

Your OP was moving and obviously from the heart, so like everyone else, I think you should stick closely to that.

Just say exactly what you said in your post above, nothing else contrived would be as good.

You'll be fine Kiora, what you said is so genuine that no-one will mind if you have a few tears.

Let us know how it goes

Yes, Kiora, you have painted a lovely picture of an obviously much-loved uncle in just a few sentences. I wish you strength to get through the funeral, but you have got a wonderful tribute ready. You have moved a lot of people who never had the pleasure of knowing your uncle, and I am sure what you say will move those who knew him even more.

We have to go through this on Thursday for Mum's funeral, Kiora. I'm glad my brother will be doing the eulogy as I don't think I'd have the courage.

Your OP is very moving and I know how raw you are feeling at the moment.

I'll be thinking of you

A beautiful eulogy for your beloved uncle.

Sending love and thought to those who have lost someone dear to them. X