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Mother of Groom wedding outfit

(54 Posts)
Rock17 Fri 27-May-16 07:48:23

If the Mother of the bride is not wearing a hat to the forthcoming wedding, does it mean I should follow suit? I have bought a dress and jacket and was thinking of getting a hat to complete my outfit but don't want to wear one if it is not the done thing.
Can I have some advice please?

puppytoe Sat 28-May-16 11:43:54

I didn't wear a hat at my daughter's wedding as I have thick curly hair . I honestly can't remember if my SIL's mother wore one or not!! I will have to check the wedding photos. If

Auntieflo Sat 28-May-16 13:09:59

Goose1964. Hope you did wear something to your daughter's wedding. Or was it ' au natural'?

Irenelily Sat 28-May-16 16:46:20

I'm really interested in this post as my son is getting married in July and I am pondering on the hat question. I bought my dress before Christmas, so hope no one else will have/be getting the same ( just saw it and liked it!). I "gave away" my 3 daughters (as no Dad around) and wore hats each time. 2 were in church so it felt right the other quite formal in the grounds of an hotel. For my eldest daughter's 2nd marriage the venue was smaller and no "giving away" - so no hat!
Had almost decided no hat this time but just been sent a photo of my youngest daughter (looking fabulous) trying on her outfit in a store - complete with hat! So now what do I do?

annsixty Sat 28-May-16 16:48:04

Just do what YOU want to do, I would be wearing one.

HootyMcOwlface Sat 28-May-16 16:50:06

Auntieflo I've just been chuckling at that too, you must have the same warped sense of humour as me! smile

Barmyoldbat Sat 28-May-16 17:58:52

Newark what you like and feel good in and most important enjoy the day.

larry5 Sat 28-May-16 20:19:08

Dd is getting married in July and I have still not decided on the hat dilemma. Dh thinks I would look good in a hat but dd doesn't so I have bought a small fascinator on a headband so that it won't flatten my hair too much - I have very thin hair. I don't know if I will wear it but I still have time to decide.

I bought my outfit in January and told the groom's mother what colour I had gone for - when her daughter got married she was wearing the same outfit as the groom's mother - she was size 10 and the groom's mother was size 20 - very awkward.

Leticia Sat 28-May-16 20:35:41

I had a similar situation and so I went for a fascinator and then the brides mother did the same. Had she not worn one then I wouldn't either.

Thebeeb Sat 28-May-16 20:42:48

I loved the opportunity to wear a hat at DS and DD marriages. Can't even remember whether other mums did or didn't. Wasn't an issue.

If you think it might be could you run it past either son, future daughter in law or even the mum. Whichever you think is most appropriate.

Maccyt1955 Sun 29-May-16 00:03:58

I honestly think it matters not one jot. I say this because when my oldest daughter got married five years ago, I thought I must wear a hat. I have always been style conscious and ahead of the trends if you like, but for some reason I lost all reason and wore a ridiculous fascinator ( a stupid description for a stupid looking head ensemble). I was the only person wearing a hat, and I felt pretty self conscious. I threw the thing in the bin as soon as I got to the reception.

So dress to suit yourself, not according to how you think otters will judge you, and enjoy your day.

Juggernaut Sun 29-May-16 10:24:53

We offered to share the cost of our DS and DDiL's wedding with her parents, but they refused our help! I wasn't happy, but kept quiet about it!
However, when the bride's mum told me what colour and style outfit to wear, I rebelled and wore a very colourful outfit, with a very, very large hatgrin
I don't think she was entirely pleased, but she was trying to control every aspect of the wedding, and I wasn't going to let her!
We've seen one another once since the wedding day, and that's once too often for me!
We get on wonderfully with our DDiL, and that's what matterssmile

seasider Sun 29-May-16 10:44:09

I had a gorgeous Audrey Hepburn style hat for DD's wedding. It was great to have the opportunity to wear one. I did not give a monkey's what anybody else wore. My DD had a part time job in wedding shop and was going to buy a straight simple dress for her wedding . Her colleagues told her it was the one day in her life she would get to wear a big dress and she should try them on. She ended up with a beautiful bodice and very full skirt. She looked fabulous.smile

Tegan Sun 29-May-16 12:32:05

I've got to wear a hat for my son's wedding as my hair is so thin and horrible, but I've bought a fascinator that I'll hopefully be able to wear for most of the day...it's silvery grey which will blend in with my hair. When I get home and can use my computer again I'll post a picture. I'm amazed at how expensive they are, though.

anne53 Sun 29-May-16 15:59:26

DS and DIL requested on their wedding invitation that everyone wore a hat! Even the men- it didn't matter if it was serious or amusing. It was great fun. I found the biggest hat I could, but people work flat caps, trilbies, Aussie hats with corks, fasinators, fireman's hat ( borrowed from work) and lawyers wigs and many more. We have great pictures of everyone wearing all the different hats and a wonderful one of everyone throwing them in the air.

janeainsworth Sun 29-May-16 16:08:07

Rock17 DS married an American girl, in America.
I was advised that the MoB would not be wearing a hat, as Americans don't do that sort of thing.
So I wore a fascinator, made of feathers from a vintage hat.
I felt great in it.
DiL's mom and I are great friends smile

ChocoholicSue Sun 29-May-16 19:11:38

Last minute rush at our daughter's wedding and I didn't realise until the photographer had gone, that I'd been wearing my fascinator back to front all day. No wonder it kept sliding around! Slightly embarrassing but too late to worry. I can't remember what my son in law's mum wore on her head but all we were concerned about was that everyone was happy and enoyed the couple's special day.

M0nica Tue 31-May-16 11:39:34

When DS got married DiL's mother was delighted when I asked if she minded if I didn't wear a hat becaiuse it meant she could dispense with one as well.

I had mid-length hair then and decided to get a hairdresser,local to the wedding location to put my hair up and thread three roses into it. Unfortunately the hairdresser I chose was not up to the job and not only were the roses not properly secured but hair kept coming loose and falling over my face. The result was in all the wedding photos. I look as if I had started inbibing champagne in copious amounts well before the wedding!!

Elrel Tue 31-May-16 12:15:02

Invited to cousin's daughter's lovely country wedding a few years ago I said to my aunt, her grandmother, that I wouldn't be wearing a hat, adding, 'I don't suppose everyone will wear one.'
'Oh, I think you'll find they will!' was the shocked reply (which has become a family catch phrase) and she then told, not asked, my daughter to take me to buy one. Cue scene in millinery department in which my bolshie attitude had me, my daughter and the assistant shrieking with laughter. I managed to get the chosen hat safely there and back by train and, like most people with anything bigger than a fascinator, abandoned it at the reception, then I forgot it.
A year or so later I again gave it an outing at another family wedding. Then it stayed on the top shelf of the wardrobe until I saw a request on Freecycle for a 'wedding hat preferably lilac'. Mine was lilac. The recipient and I were both delighted with the transaction, job done!?

Anniechip Sun 05-Mar-17 21:58:21

My Son is marrying his lovely partner of 10 years in July after proposing on Valentine's Day. They have two young children, 4 and a half and 22 months at time of wedding and there will be lots of children at the wedding. It is in a function room and afternoon tea is the "wedding breakfast"! Lovely!! So ladies, what should one wear? There is no particular colour theme, so no worries about a colour clash and it's going to be rather like a big children's party I imagine!! I rather fancy this dress with matching shrug but is it too 'posh' ?

Bbnan Mon 06-Mar-17 07:36:18

I had my outfit made so I knew there would be no clashing.....also got a very splendid hat...best day yet....I truly dressed up for the occasion....I was the mil and got hundreds of compliments .. cost was 40 per cent of my budget.

grannypiper Mon 06-Mar-17 07:41:56

Who cares what the MOB is doing, she is not the carnival Queen but just the Brides Mother

Riverwalk Mon 06-Mar-17 07:45:46

Annie no it's not posh and is a bit wishy-washy.

Also, bear in mind that model is very tall and the dress is way past her knees.

theglamgranny Wed 05-Jun-19 07:38:19

It really comes down to personal preference but you could ask the bride if there is a dress code. Personally I love dressing up for weddings and it gives me an excuse to buy a new wedding hat. I think hats and fascinators fascinatorsdirect.co.uk/ just add the finishing touch to an outfit

Marydoll Wed 05-Jun-19 08:21:56

I have been to three weddings in the last two years and almost everyone wore hats. The mother of the grooms were all wearing hats.
I'm going to a wedding in August and the mother of the groom bought her very fancy hat yesterday.

When my son got married, the MOB and I liaised with each other over colours etc.

My daughter is getting married next year and I already have my outfit. I wasn't looking, but it just jumped out at me.
My DIL told me that the first hat I bought was too plain for MOB. I bought a second one last week which I loved, but it was totally the wrong colour! It's going back to the shop on Friday. sad I don't really suit hats, but as I have go older, my face has grown into them! grin

It's just a matter of choice. Why don't you ask the mother of the bride, how she feels?
Whatever you decide, have a great day!

Starlady Wed 05-Jun-19 09:01:16

Glad you're going to talk with the bride, Rock17! That way you can't "go wrong."

Grannypiper, true the MOB is 'not the Carnival Queen," LOL! But wedding etiquette says that she's supposed to take the lead, as a PP mentioned. So, personally, I wouldn't wear a hat if she weren't or at least, not a very big one. But if Rock realy wants to, it's best if she checks with the MOB or the bride first, IMO. As you can see, she's checking w/ the bride.

Oh Greyduster, what an awful situation! And how rude and ridiculous for the MOB to act that way! It's not as if you did it on purpose!

Annie, I don't think that dress is "too posh." It is lovely for "afternoon tea," IMO. Please go ahead and get it! But Riverwalk's comment about length has made me think - just be careful that you get the right length for you.