Should I ‘publish’ and be damned?

It could have been a miscarriage of justice as Grannyknot says (no DNA evidence in those days!).

Whilst not a direct ancestor, I have a distant family connection who was a thief or highwayman in early 19th century Scotland and was hanged. I don't see why anyone would be upset about this after such a long time.

Oh no miscarriage of justice ...all his many wives gave evidence at his trial for bigamy!!

I’m not publishing these for general consumption, as if we’re, just using online tools, desktop publishing, etc

As it were....

Really!! do you need to ask this question, how would you like a Christmas present with the details of a rapist relative.

If you do want to give her the thing leave this man out completely because knowing this will help her in absolutely no way and you WILL 100% be the baddy for bringing this up

So NO not a good present

You can't change history and this ancestor's history seems to be well-documented.
If Anya's DIL or anyone else in the family were to do some research themselves they would come across these facts anyway.

It's a lovely present, I think.

As Anya has already approached her DiL's parents, I think we can assume that her DiL will be OK with it.

I still live in the same area as the very tight-knit community that I was brought up in. I never needed to research my family - for many generations their doings (and other families in the same place) were discussed and re-hashed. I knew the stories growing up (it came as complete surprise to me when I found out that lots of people didn't know who their great-great grandparents were!)

With no criticism to Anya, who has put a lot of thought into this, I would like to say that I would have hated it if anyone had done that to me.

I know a lot about the less pleasant side of my family, the distress that was passed down, and I would not have liked my in-laws looking at that. I am aware of some history that some parts of the family do not want to talk about, and I respect that. I have talked about it to my children - that is their heritage as well as the fantastic men & women who worked to make my community a better place. But it was for me and my immediate family to make those decisions.

I hope Anya, you appreciate that I am posting this so the 'other point of view' is heard. You sound like a lovely thoughtful person, so please take this in the spirit in which it is intended.

Anya that's a lovely idea for the family and I'm glad you've worked out what to do - not easy.

Did you use any particular self-publishing method. I have done Special Occasion memory books of photos with some text in the past but I don't remember any of them being set up for family history.

No one publishing package will do exactly what I want it to do, they are too limiting as you’ve found out GG. So I mix and match various packages, using photoshop to enhance photos, good quality and unusual paper and then I once did a course on book binding at night school so the finished products looks pretty professional.

I do have a contact who works in publishing but decided that was OTT.

NanaRose we (in our family) have all moved away from our roots so this has given me a sense of history and made me realise just how our predecessors must have struggled just to get by day to day. My OH has been truly fascinated by what I’ve found out about his family. I must admit to shedding a tear when I found out one of my Irish ancestors had been deported for stealing bread during the potato famine and I wondered what had become of the family left to their own resources without him to help provide.

What also struck me was how many children families had, my own great grandmother had 12 children and died at 42. And how many children died very young.

I think it is a brilliant idea but I thought you were using a 'photo book' type set-up. It sounds as if you have really put a great deal of work into it and got very 'crafty'. I am sure everyone will love it Anya

Thank you ?

Either 'publish and be damned' or just mention him where he belongs. Then put a footnote saying he has an interesting story but your lips are sealed unless you get the brown paper envelope stuffed with usual reward. That should get them going. People 'love' the shady stuff. Makes them more interesting as a family.
Good for you researching the family history. I am currently working through mine.

I have been inspired by this thread to continue with mine and have got back to 1621 today - but no further. I don't have many photos though.
DH's is more difficult as he has a very common surname which always makes things more difficult.

Now to write it all up.

Thank you Anya - this is GN at its best.

the worst thing I found was 3 x great grandparents who were both in court on the same day ,the Wife for not paying the rent on her pub,the husband for selling alcohol without a license ...I have an ancestor who is reputed to be a bigamist ,but I cant find details.I was told after asking for information about him on a website ,the guy who told me said he was a great GS of this man and that he was told he was hanged for bigamy and the family all changed their name because of it .That would explain why I had difficulty finding him!

My sister has researched our family history and we have smugglers and a murderer, who escaped jail and no one knows what happen to him in the 18th centuary. We all found it a good story and not something to be worried about. Our family history is just that with all its good and bad characters, you either tell it as it is or change your mind about sharing anything. The attraction of uncovering the past is that it is full of surprises, and we can not alter it to suit modern day tastes.

Wow Anya sounds like you've done an amazing job! Its a really lovely idea but I do understand your reservations about revealing such an unpleasant truth. Could you just write the basic info about everyone and add an asterisk to indicate further info available re this man? That way she'd need to ask you specifically and you could mention that it was quite negative and that you had hesitated to make it completely public. She might be fine about it and would appreciate your delicacy. Good luck anyway!

This sounds like a wonderful idea Anya. I would be thrilled if someone had done such an amazing present for me, warts and all. Will you be taking commissions?

Alima now there’s an idea!!

Pick me, pick me! I’d love to have this present and I am so impressed by your skills and expertise, Anya.

I think jusnoneed has nailed it. Put his basic details in and have the full story available if DIL wants it. I would have advised including everything, as I would be fascinated to unearth an interesting ancestor, even this kind! But the strength of feeling on here has surprised me, and shown that some people would definitely not want to know that they had connections to this man.

Maggie I'm one who expressed caution. It's not a matter of my not wanting to know all the gory details if I go ancestry hunting - if that's historical fact then that's it.

However, I personally would find it intrusive if someone else went delving into my family history without my knowledge, particularly coming up with a convicted rapist.

That's my thought too riverwalk.

Do your son and daughter in law know that you have been researching their family history? I think I would be a little uncomfortable to know that someone had been delving into my family history without my knowledge; (a relative was furious when I discovered by accident that she was illegitimate.) If they do know and are happy with it I would still be careful when I gave them their present; they might not want to read it with other people about looking over their shoulder. Recently a good friend produced a photograph from Google of the house where I grew up, and I felt uneasy, don't know why, about the fact of him delving into my past.