Autism

Iam64

Great family stories Greenfinch and MimiMoon. Our 12 year old grandson complained the ham on white bread he chose at the buffet had “disgusting green stuff on it, so he couldn’t eat it”. Don’t worry, Grandad said, here’s some money, go and get another one. He did exactly that and was so disappointed when the green stuff appeared again. Literal thinkers x

I have just made the mistake of saying to my eleven year old autistic grandson" Would you like to tidy up now".He took it literally as a question and said " No thank you".I have to be very careful with "Would you like.........."

I've just had a fleeting visit from my 8 year old GS who has high functioning autism. He takes everything literally. He came in and complained about the drizzle. We asked if his family knew where he was and he said yes. He was just making himself at home when his brothers and sister appeared at the window and his Dad came in. Apparently they are all going for a walk, but DGS had had a conversation with his mum and was sure she said he could stay with us until the others came back. Of course, this conversation occured a few weeks ago, not today. ??
He put his coat and boots back on and left with the rest of them.
I love him. ❤️❤️

I haven't had contact with autistic children since I retired.
But nowadays being out and about, on buses etc, I 've noticed several children with various degrees of probable autism, some in wheelchairs. There does seem to be more. Maybe it's the school holidays and normally they would be at school.
I was waiting for a bus yesterday and sat next to me was a small family with a hyperactive boy who was jumping up and down, hand flapping, making strange noises etc. So difficult for the family, but they obviously loved him.

thanks trisher I enjoyed that.

I hope your husband makes a full and complete recovery. Your grandson, whatever his problems, will always be a source of joy, you will love him just the same, just accept him for what he is. Don't compare him with others. It is early days and you daughter has started the ball rolling and he will get the help he needs because you will all be fighting for him.

he is a child. and you have to be there for your daughter/husband/ grandson. there are wonderful specialists out there .you have to pull together and deal with this .of course there will be moments when you are upset. but who said life would be a smooth path..lots of hugs to you and family. be kind but be strong,

Dollypond I too try and promote 'The reason I jump* to anyone who mentions the word autism. A brilliant book.

I have read that "if you know one autistic child, you know one autistic child". I agree. Like all children, each one is unique. I love my DGS to bits, no more and no less than my other GC. He has abilities (humour and sharp wit) that the others don't have . They have skills (socialising the ability to get on with others well) he doesn't. Who knows what the future holds for any of our grandchildren. The best we can do is to love them unconditionally and support them in their lives and dreams.

There are degrees of autism. For someone who has come to terms with it and writes and talks about his relationship with his son Johnny do listen to Henry Normal. Henry was a comedian and writer and half of Baby Cow production company with Steve Coogan, originally a poet he gave up working and went back to poetry in 2015 in order to help care for his son. He does a lot for the National Autism Society. For all with autistic children I hope this helps www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LqquIPOqZM

I loved movement therapy as it was called then. Such a good way in. Too old and stiff to do it now though.
On another and positive note, several of the ladies in my Asperger group were waiting for their children's exam results today. All did really well. Note these are ladies with AS whose children also with AS got very good exam passes. It's not all doom and gloom in ASD!

We are currently imitating the noises he makes, have cue cards and signing. I tend to play alongside him as instructed and observation is something I enjoy doing so that isn't a chore.

There are motivation issues here! Watch him. Check what he does understand. Observation is very interesting. Sometimes doing less is more with these children. Try to enter their world rather than try to make him fit yours. I often found that sessions copying an individual's movements was useful. Don't necessarily talk just imitate him, give lots of time and see what happens. Ideally, he'd see what you're doing and start trying to deliberately make moves for you to copy. It's interaction. It can be fun but don't rush into it.

I agree Jane10 but mine doesn't necessarily respond to his name let alone me asking where the window is. He obviously doesn't lack intelligence though and will lead me by the finger to show me what he wants. He can also shake his head vigorously if you try to put something into his mouth he doesn't want so the word no may not be spoken but it is clearly communicated!

Language is an internal code. We use words to describe items, people, emotions and actions and they not necessarily spoken aloud. Speech is spoken language. Look for comprehension of what is being said rather than the child itself saying the words out loud. Eg ask questions like 'Where's the window' and if they look at the window you know they know what a window is etc.

There are different levels of autism. Hopefully your GS's will be one of the milder types. Also thought you might like to read 'The reason I jump' by Naoki Higoshida which was written by a boy with autism.

I totally agree Iam64, it has taken a year to get my DGS to respond to his name and even now, it is frequent. Waving goodbye isn't something he has picked up properly, no language skill, hand flapping, making a strange noise most of the time, the list is more than just that he doesn't talk or walks on tiptoes. Like most people who are in this position, I long for somebody in the know to tell me I am overthinking this, but as each month progresses, it becomes more likely that something about him is just different. Will I love him any less than my other DGC? Nope, if anything I might just feel more protective over him so it seems I love him more. What I really want though, is a diagnosis so we can all pull in the same direction and give him the best chances in life to be fulfilled. He gets so frustrated at not being able to communicate that at 3 it is difficult sometimes to handle his meltdowns and I don't know how I'll manage as he gets older but I have other family members who have children with autism so I know there are many strategies to help.

I totally agree Iam.In my grandson's case it also included watching and making things spin,no hand waving and not responding to his name.

crazyH - many toddlers have a tiptoe walking phase but not many also have hand flapping and no language skills alongside the tiptoe walking. Its the cluster of signs that mean the OPs daughter is right to seek a medical opinion. Whilst it's early days and we don't have enough information nor is it our place to diagnose, its not helpful to say 'its only a phase' in these circumstances.

The little lad hasn't yet been diagnosed, has he? Let's wait and see. I didn't realise walking on tip toes was a sign of autism. My grandson went through a phase of walking on tip toes.... that's what it is, just a phase ...hope your husband recovers well .

Floradora9 - I like your comment that we have to accept these children as they are. I apply it to all children. Our job is to help them make good decisions, make the best of their skills and not be ground down by the things they find difficult.

We were the only baby sitters for our friends who had a son with Aspergers a type of autism . We loved him to bits and still do . He now has his own house and a job but can always nip home to mum and dad if he needs to . He was a great flapper of hands and got upset if a journey did not take him the way he expected but you have to accept these children as they are. He still likes to visit when we are at his mums and still seems to enjoy our company . He was lucky in that his mum helped him all the way and persued every avenue to get help so do the same for your grandson .

I agree totally with your post Iam and my young teenaged DGS is the same.
Socially isolated and sad, although medication helps a little.
Bright, funny and very handsome ( on the positive side.)

Sandwich, what a great message