offering to help with a credit card bill

Basically, I'd say it's not your problem and they seem perfectly capable of dealing with it.

Keep quiet.
5k is not an awful lot of money these days if on a good salary. (Are they). And it could well be pride like it is with my daughter. Perhaps be a little more generous with birthday gifts and adhoc presents of money during the next few months, if it can be afforded.
Keep an eye out for struggling, and lots of good ideas above about 0% cards.

Further to my previous post, you say you have already gifted them a house deposit, I think you could actually hinder their growing up if you step in here.

It may be a good idea to keep quiet and see how they go about paying it. If you pay it for them it may lull them into a false sense of security and prevent them from understanding finances further, and almost certainly they will get into debt again. You have my sympathy. I took out a loan 30 years ago to pay a similar amount for one of my children and they still could not manage and it cost me almost the same in interest. I am not in a position to do it again. To us £5,000 is a lot of money and so it is, but many young people do not see it that way, unfortunately. Paying their debt may not have the effect you hope for. Much as it saddens you to see the bank earning interest from them, it may not help them. You could put the money you have to give them in a separate 'savings' account that will earn a little bit of interest and produce it when they have been able to restrict themselves, and show them how much better it is to stay in credit. You may well need the money yourself. Care and housework is £20 an hour at least and more if an agency is used. Only you can decide what to do in the end.

No don't pay it. They need to feel the pain of the interest (although some people don't care, or learn from it the first time), but don't bale them out. They are adults.

Do keep quiet its none of your business

Nannarose, I think you have a very clear response from other Grans. Rarely (if ever?) have I seen a thread with such uniform views on a question.

Keep quiet because if not you might be helping them out yet again in a few years time, They need to learn to live within their means.

I have learnt the hard way. I have helped my son out of financial trouble many times. He has never managed to budget and even now in his mid forties constantly comes to me for help. I am learning to harden my heart now but it is not easy. I blame myself for not showing tough love sooner.

They need to learn how to manage and budget. You're not helping by paying it. (And its unfair if you have other children. Don't know if you have)

Sorry...it's Molli

A wise move molli and they have learned. You are rightly proud and you can now be assured that they are able to turn to you when needed. All good

Keep quiet. Until they approach you it’s none of your business.

Don’t interfere! Let them sort out their own problems and they will learn from it. Sometimes the best intentions go badly wrong!

You think they have enough money not to be borrowing money so it is probably best that you don't offer to pay off their credit card. It may tempt you to make some comments such as "cutting your coat according to your cloth", etc, which is likely to cause resentment, even if it isn't expressed to you.

I think they might well feel you had been prying into their finances too, which is likely to annoy them.

Of course, it's better to have no credit card debts but, for two people with reasonably good jobs, I don't think £5,000 is an unmanageable amount to budget for paying back.

If you help them out this time because you think they are not good at managing money then they may soon run up another debt so, in the long term, you are not helping them. They need to learn that you should only buy what you can afford to. They will do this by paying their debt off in stages at a high interest rate rather than at zero interest rate with the bank of mum and dad!

I would leave them to sort it out .
Otherwise they will never learn to cope and you could need that money in yrs to come .
Don’t be rash

It is their business and by the sounds of it they are making plans on repaying it.
I discovered that my dd and sil were having to pay back a few thousand re child tax/ working tax benefit. They were put in an impossible situation and it wasn't even their fault the DPW acknowledged it was an error but would not write off the debt. It was just awful. They will soon come to the end of the payment. They have been told as they are on low income to apply for benefits but they won't go near them again.

I offered to pay off the debt and they could pay me back but they said no. Instead I did do food shops occasionally for them. They have since asked for a loan of £500 and showed me their repayment plan.
I am proud of the way they have handled a horrible situation and their money sense.
Don't say anything but be there if needed.

This really is the time for silence. You were not told about this, you were not shown the correspondence and you were not asked for help; unfortunately sometimes although we are not 'looking' at items we cannot help but see; similarly you can be in a situation where you are not directly listening but we have probably all heard things we wish we hadn't. If they need your help I am sure they will ask. If you bring this up I am sure they will think that you have been snooping about and it might cause all sorts of problems.

Beau is correct. My credit rating went up when I borrowed.

My DD has just deliberately taken out a new credit card to book our holiday on as her credit rating is going down whilst she has no debts after working abroad for a few years and paying off her old mortgage and car loan. These days you need well maintained debts to have a high credit rating, which can be important if you want to move to a bigger house for example. So leave well alone, they will be coping with it I'm sure.

OP I'm sure you set your son a good example about managing money. Now give him the opportunity to sort himself out.

If they want your help then they will ask for it. They might well think if they ask you for anything they will never hear the last of it so would rather borrow on their credit card. So perhaps it is planned borrowing. I do agree though that the interest rates are extortionate and they would be much better off borrowing the money elsewhere. Whilst not interfering you could have a general chat about the best way to borrow money. It's then up to them if they take it on board or not.

I would advise not saying anything. My daughter just told me they are 30,000 in debt! As they say, "You don't solve money problems with money!" They need to learn on their own. All my family members who have been helped out, have just gotten themselves into the same fix again. You are very kind-hearted to want to help them. Just feel grateful they are trying to work things out and not take your money. After lending money to lots of people, my mom has told me she will never "lend" again because there are too many problems in getting it back. Instead, she has said if she wants to help people, she just gives them the money.

oh how i wish someone would help me with my debt. I am 35k in debt and trying to sell my house to pay it off (i will downsize) 20k of it was for a car that i could use. I have a disability in my hands and i had to get a car with keyless entry and a push start button. Now you cant get older cars with these features so i had no choice, I cant go without a car as i live far from any shop or high street and my family live 200 miles away. But say that if they know you are there for them they will ask if they need to and they are lucky to have you