Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

What can we do to help?

(193 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 22-Jan-20 16:27:56

On this thread a few of you mentioned that you felt cliquiness could be putting new posters off. We obviously want everyone to feel comfortable posting on Gransnet - old or new - without feeling they have to be part of any group. Is there anything we could do from our end to improve things? We're all ears...
And thank you everyone who contributed to the earlier thread. Sending virtual wine over to you all.

Marydoll Sun 09-Feb-20 23:39:52

Reported.

mike28939 Sun 09-Feb-20 23:33:03

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Elegran Tue 28-Jan-20 11:17:36

Yes, there are so many members, and so many of those only post occasionally, that a completely new name is not easily recognised. That is why I suggested colour-coding the first few posts from a new member.

winterwhite Tue 28-Jan-20 10:49:22

I think threads can be cliquey when the subject under discussion is swamped by a few posters exchanging a string of emojis with one another. That does happen, and it's annoying for other people.
The lifeline for those who live alone is an essential element of Gransnet, but other people don't look at it for days or weeks at a time so it isn't surprising that we aren't recognised when we surface. When I see welcoming messages posted by other people I'm amazed that they spot that a name is new.

Marydoll Tue 28-Jan-20 09:32:47

I agree Elegran, tone of voice and facial expression can change the meaning of what we say and we have to be so careful how we write something. Even then, it can be misinterpreted.

We can post until the cows come home, but it won't change the views of some posters, that they are being excluded. sad
I sometimes wonder if they actually want to be included. ?.
I used to say to my pupils:
To get a friend, you have to be a friend ! It just doesn't happen automatically.

Elegran Tue 28-Jan-20 09:21:31

It does demonstrate clearly just how exact you have to be in posting - particularly posts that you intend to be taken as a joke. When you are talking face-to-face, your very face shows that you are not serious. When there is only the text, then the difference between a "confused" icon and the meaning "only kidding" can make all the difference.

Callistemon Tue 28-Jan-20 09:18:07

Hetty58
I never check my inbox (and have forgotten the password for it anyway). What am I missing? I keep reading about daily newsletters etc.

Maggiemaybe Tue 28-Jan-20 09:06:13

Discussing how meet-ups are organised and run, what works, what doesn’t, so that new members don’t feel excluded isn’t veering off the subject.

I’m giving up with these “how can we improve GN” threads now. What a waste of time.

If GNHQ really wanted us to help they’d be on here joining in the conversations and engaging with those of us who’ve come up with suggestions. Perhaps expanding on them or explaining why they do things as they do.

And asking those who only come on to criticise others what their helpful ideas are.

Marydoll Mon 27-Jan-20 22:31:26

I'm glad you cleared up the confusion, ExperiencedNotOld.

I too, took it to mean the same as Elegran and thought I was seen to be a member of yet another clique, having been to quite a few meetups. ?.
I even mentioned it to my husband!?

ExperiencedNotOld Mon 27-Jan-20 22:27:02

Is it really that important that I got the e-whatever wrong? It depend on your understanding of wry, I suppose.
And threads always veer? Do they? I’ve seen it called out elsewhere on GN. As this thread was a RFI from Admin the veer wasn’t really helpful, eh?

Elegran Mon 27-Jan-20 21:46:10

Threads always veer off the original subject. Where they veer to is often more interesting than the way they start.

It wasn't a wry smile, by the way. The label of that emoticon is "confused" and the wording of it is "hmm". If you had a wry smile on your face, it wasn't visible in the post.

ExperiencedNotOld Mon 27-Jan-20 21:26:55

You obviously choose to ignore the wry smile. Surely you can appreciate that the thread does appear to have veered off the original purpose which was to address the idea that new posters could be deterred by what could be seen as cliques.

Grammaretto Mon 27-Jan-20 20:59:46

Elegran grin

Elegran Mon 27-Jan-20 19:18:53

Have you ever actually met any other Gransnet members in the flesh? Or do you think we should all sit in our isolation booths, communicating only online in the widest generalities and not expressing any opinions on anything ever?

Sheesh!

Elegran Mon 27-Jan-20 19:16:02

Good Lord, Experienced Not Old can't we even meet up with friends (or potential friends if it is a first meeting) without being accused of forming a clique?

If you meet a couple of YOUR friends for coffee and a chat, do YOU spend your time plotting who you will exclude from the privilege of joining you - speaking to you, even? If you do, what a weird life you must lead!

MawB Mon 27-Jan-20 19:03:16

That is a shame Monica . Another time I hope.
I remember when we held a Midlands meet-up at the Edwardian Tea Rooms at the Museum in Birmingham. I too found myself approaching and peering at groups of total strangers.
Security were fortunately not involved grin

M0nica Mon 27-Jan-20 18:56:54

Not that I am aware of.

ExperiencedNotOld Mon 27-Jan-20 18:32:24

All this talk of meet ups - new cliques forming maybe.... hmm

Sark Mon 27-Jan-20 07:56:28

That was a shame MOnica
If you're doing anymore in Oxford please could you let me know!?

M0nica Mon 27-Jan-20 07:31:05

Maw There were several meet-ups at the Ashmolean, but this was the only one I could make and I was late because of the difficulty of parking, even in the Park and Rides.

Only two people attended this one, which was the problem. I would have spoken to any group of three or four people, but the cafe was awash with couples of women, a dozen or more, and after wandering round several times, obviously scanning tables, I hoped someone would realise I was looking for someone and might be the missing person who said they would come and would speak to me.

The problem of going from table to table is that inevitably in these circumstances the people you want are the last or nearly last you approach, I felt I might be mistaken for a beggar or chugger of some kind.

Marydoll Mon 27-Jan-20 00:14:13

At the latest Glasgow meetup, we all had name badges. It looked as if we were on a school trip! However, we all managed to find each other! grin

When I phoned to try and reserve some tables, I heard the lady on the phone say to someone beside her : It's an old folks bus run trying to reserve a table, I think they are coming from up north and want to be near the bus station. grin

MawB Mon 27-Jan-20 00:08:08

M0nica oh no!
I think I was at that along with lemongrove and (perhaps) boheminan plus some others.
I can’t believe you missed us/we missed you sad

Grammaretto Sun 26-Jan-20 22:29:45

The last meetup I was at, they were still talking about you absent!

I was a bit worried that it would be awkward meeting the Edinburgh GNs for the first time. I had forgotten the booking name at the restaurant but mumbled my way in - late. I needn't have worried as they were so lovely, natural and welcoming.
My first Glasgow meetup was equally friendly.

M0nica Sun 26-Jan-20 21:38:03

I went to a meeting in Oxford once and walked round the Ashmolean Cafe three times looking at all the little groups of ladies there wondering which group were the GN members.
As I had said I was coming, I was hoping that whoever was there would be keeping a lookout eye for anyone wandering around looking lost and would say something

I thought of asking from table to table, but felt I would become suspected by staff of begging, so I just walked out and did some shopping instead.

Maggiemaybe Sun 26-Jan-20 16:25:13

Or even DD and DSIL. Oops. grin