More to life? But what?

Several of you are confirming what I already knew, that women are the adventurous ones and often it is the husbands who want to stay at home. And it's not just confined to travel.

I had a friend, somewhat older than me whose husband wouldn't even go to the cinema or theatre with her. The only holidays they had were when he and a couple of friends went over to Northern France to play gold and their wives went too.

The husband of a former neighbour refused to go to the ballet with her. I think he didn't like the idea of men prancing around in tights. (or perhaps he didn't like to see the size of their lunch boxes) Being told that dancers were very strong and had a lot of stamina made no difference to his attitude.

Obviously not all men are like that - my OH isn't but then he's not an alpha male.

Grannybuy, I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but you do seem to have lift up your chin to look ahead. Good for you.

LadyBella, there are so many good posts here to take in and evaluate. I understand your restless spirit and the feeling of more to accomplish.

For those that have found the original poster to be ungrateful; I don't agree at all! In her first sentence she states she is grateful for all she has, and the situation she is in.

Sometimes I daydream about what is next; I'm not retired yet but my DH is. He has had some health scares in the past, but he is a very content person. Content with our home, our garden and our lifestyle. He is not one to crave change or far flung travels. I am the dreamer in our relationship! Who knows what the future brings, but we can perhaps take time to evaluate what makes us happy, and what little or large things can make us even happier.

Perhaps plan to dip your toe into unknown waters. Rent a houseboat, or a cottage by the sea whenever we get clearance to do so. Do it for a long enough time to really get a taste of it, and perhaps even do it off-season to get a taste of 'real life' and not a summer holiday. A cottage by the sea in March may not be what you expected! But please be open to some exploration of your ideas.

Yes Dinahmo it’s called bungalow swallowing! The appearance can be changed dramatically. I have been in a bungalow since the 70s but from the outside, I like to think it looks more like a Lodge and I have countrified it as well as creating rooms below.

For those who are fed up with bungalows - they can be remodelled and opened up - lots of younger people do that now.

This thread is very interesting because most of you want to live the rest of your lives to the full, as much as you are able.

I have been frustrated by people complaining about youngsters losing out on a year of their lives because of covid. I think that they probably have 60 to 70 years at least ahead of them so why so much pity?

It's very cheering to hear from those over 80 who are still enjoying life.

As regards motor homes, they can be very expensive. Some friends bought one so that they could travel from London to their house in France and out to Suffolk to see her mother. That was it. They didn't use it for other holidays. En route to their French house they stayed on farms which cost very little. The motor home cost over £20,000. Think how far that would go if you just spent it on holidays and other entertainments.

Good luck to all of you who are planning a change, no matter how small.

Msida

I seem to be in the very small minority and think I must be very boring but this year has made me realise that after 38 years of marriage and a frantic life with 3 children,a job involving shifts and a lot of pressure and then running my own business.And DH losing a business through no fault of his own and starting from scratch again and several very bumpy years in and amongst when we lost loved ones and have become carers for elderly parents.Well after all that ,plus a pretty full social life ,this past few months have been the quietest and most rewarding unexpectedly.I haven't even missed the social life tbh.
Of course I've hated all the bad news,our finances have been hit hard .I've even had Covid myself,as have 3 close family members -fortunately all ill at home and recovered.I have worried about our DDs and their jobs.One is an ICU nurse .Another a teacher.
But I feel calmer,more content with my lot than ever.As a previous poster said time with DH has felt like a gift.He's a glass half full kind of chap luckily and we've found humour in the daftest of things. I love my home - yes a bungalow! - and large garden and pets.I have realised I have no desire to explore the far flung world but, do have a long list of places in the UK we want to visit when restrictions ease.But then when I retired I just dreamt of ' days full of purposelessness 'as Bob Mortimer the comedian said after his heart scare caused him to evaluate life.
I guess we all want /need different things in life to feel fulfilled- and nothing wrong with that.

Narrowboats can give a relaxing way of life. We have one just for holidays, it is very luxurious for a narrowboat and is fitted out for live aboard, but I couldn’t live on it all the time, I would go stir crazy. The chores of emptying the toilet waste and filling up the water tank constantly, the lack of storage space and I would miss my garden too much. Boating is actually quite hard work especially if you have to manage the locks on your own! I have friends who live aboard and some who are now back in a house after a few years. It might sound romantic to cruise along without a care in the world but I would suggest hiring a boat for a couple of weeks first to try it first.

I have an observation. There are thousands of How To books for teens, those that are dating, planning a wedding, being happily married, becoming parents, emptynesting, but then they stop! Nobody helps learn ways to grow older. Maybe it is meant to be a big surprise. I don’t find it amusing. Don’t write us off we have so much yet to give.

We were house sitting and looking after 2 cats in a beautiful house in Sydney overlooking the harbour bridge when Covid struck. We did complete the sit and managed to get to our daughter’s in Melbourne before flying back home. Since then we obviously haven’t been able to do any more house sits and my feet are getting very itchy. I’m 70 and my DH a couple of years older and we can’t wait until we can travel again. Some retirees are happy to stay close to home but we just love to travel and meet new people and as long as our health allows we will continue to do so.

Why not write your Life Story? I am doing it, using a professional company and it is all absorbing. The company ensure that I keep at it and will produce the book for me at the end. I really hope that my grandchildren will enjoy it and know more about their grandparents than I did about mine!

I don't know what it is about turning 70. I didn't mind being in my 60s but in May when l was 70 l felt really old and miserable. Perhaps the times we are in didn't help. I moved here to be near family and old friends to make new friends and do different things. It was supposed to be a fresh start. This year has been such a waste. I know how lucky l am really as my sister keeps telling me things could been very different for me and especially for her as she had meningitis and was in a coma for 10 days. The best Christmas l have had in recent years was a holiday in Scotland with 3 other ladies.

My dh and I had a canal boat built and had 6 wonderful years cruising the river Thames. We are now living at the coast. Both have advantages but you do need to have your health and strength for canal boat living. Getting groceries was difficult sometimes but if you need regular access to the medical profession that can be very difficult. Living by the sea is wonderful, gentle walks on the promenade, and close to all facilities.

I'm so grateful to everyone here. There have been some truly inspiring posts which have made me think hard. I shall re-read them all and would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has taken the trouble to write. I'm amazed at how many of you have actually taken the plunge and done something different. I do agree about the U3A which I have considered and have looked at the idea of a campervan though I can't believe the price. However it's still an option. I do know how lucky I am having a good husband - I really do. I've got some great ideas from all your posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. There are some fascinating posts on here. I think I need to be a bit more positive.

Although we downsized to a bungalow we both had busy lives after retirement, my husband driving one of the community buses several times a week and myself doing ‘books for the housebound ‘. We had a full, busy life and then my husband developed Vascular Dementia and then Parkinson’s and now I really value living in a bungalow ! But life is very different now,, be grateful for what you have and keep yourself busy.

tictacnana

How fantastic to be adventurous and restless at this stage of life ! When I retired, a few years ago, I felt like I’d come to the end of a huge, life long obstacle race, like a job themed Krypton Factor. I just wanted to enjoy my home and the interests and hobbies that I’d never had time for. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I hope you find peace and have fun along the way.

I feel the same way. To be content with a relatively quiet life after the whirlwind of working etc. carries its own excitement I think. I have taken up new crafts in my retirement as well as growing veg in a polytunnel and it is enough.
I hope you find your contentment however adventurous or sedentary that may be, as that is where true happiness lies. :-)

Going on a language course abroad is great for meeting people. At one in Spain I met a Dutch lady and she and I now travel together, we spent a month in Argentina last year. Fabulous in Patagonia!

I'm widowed and live alone. I spent the first year eating chocolate and watching telly. Now I love living by myself. Nobody to have to be back to make his tea, not having to explain where I'm going and when I'll be home. Just book a trip and go, or go to the pub, join a book club, go to open mic nights. Invite people in. (All post vaccine of course).

Join the U3A. Google it, it has branches all over the world, and lots of different group activities, each group led by an enthusiast. There is archeology, architecture, local or world history, language, handbell ringing, singing, scrabble, chess, walking, Sunday lunches, drawing, writing, shopping trips, visiting gardens etc, etc. (A lot of groups are using zoom for now.) All for retired people. And a monthly lecture for all the groups, on very interesting topics. Many of the groups go on trips too. You will never look back and wonder how to fill your time. You won't have enough of it.

My lovely 87 yo Dad unexpectedly and suddenly passed away this July.

One of his many gifts to us was his inspiring example of having a very successful retirement and a life well and truly lived.

Some of this involved the need for money (Dad was an invterate globe trotter right to the end). Some did not - his daily 3 mile walks, going swimming several times a week, playing snooker with his friends at the local working men's club, cheering on his local Rugby Team, getting on a bus with his bus pass and just seeing where the day took him.

Dad made each and every day of his retirement count. He absolutely loved life, and his love of life was the secret to his success in all that he did.

I'll draw inspiration from Dad for the rest of my own life, however long or short that may be.

If you explore the Skyros holiday options you will find yourself able to travel alone and enjoy the activities in the company of very interesting people. They have a weekly face book programme for meeting up.

www.skyros.com/

Littleannie not a smug remark at all! We are just trying to think of a range of positive ideas to help. If you can’t think of anything positive to say, say nothing was my gran’s advice!

You sound very ungrateful. You should do some voluntary work. I am 66 and was burgled last Christmas with my identity hacked, and I still have not got my money back. In July the tax told me I had not paid enough tax when I was working and they have taken it off me in a lump sum! Now I am in utter penury, so think yourself lucky. I will never have holidays, days out, hobbiles. I am not living but existing.

Since March I have settled into our limited existence and tried not to think too hard about the things I can’t now do, so this thread is making me think.
I daren’t ask DH what he is looking forward to doing when it is safe, as I know it won’t be very ambitious and will revolve around antique fairs and continuing to fill our already full home with things.
I am looking forward to resuming singing in real life with my choirs and resuming real life contact with my children, grandchildren, church and voluntary work. But I really must make the effort to do more travelling, even if it has to be solo, as I think DH will be reluctant to go anywhere. Our holidays together have to be planned ( by me) down to the last detail, to accommodate his needs and his idiosyncrasies.
Our holiday last year was odd. He realised after we had booked it that he would miss his daughter’s birthday which he had promised to spend with her, so it was arranged that he would drive home early and I would return later by train. Then his daughter had a medical appointment she could not miss, but DH stuck to his plan and went home early. I really enjoyed the last few days alone and the train journey home, which encourages me to do it again, though it was a bit limiting without a car. So I am going to start planning now.

Just do what ever your heart desires and what ever makes you happy ?

I agree with helga - can you remember what you loved doing as a child and maybe got put off by adults telling you to get a job with a pension instead? Was it drawing, music, acting? Find your oldest passion in life and pursue it single-mindedly would be my advice.

Do you have anything you feel passionate about? Music? Travel? History? Politics? Nature? The Environment?
Where ever you are, you need something to interest and motivate you. Find something that really interests you and find a way to get involved, where ever you are.