am I being unreasonable

So he just wants to complain when a solution is available, then?

My partner and I have been together for nearly 7 years. Whenever we have a disagreement he always refers to his past relationship. His ex took all his assets including their property. I live in a rented housing association flat and he moved in with me. I’ve suggested that I can add his name onto the tenancy but he doesn’t want to. Yet he says that I have somewhere to live and he doesn’t. I’m so confused.

I am sure that the OO is very aware that she is reading the rules correctly but just needs a bit of moral supplier. It can’t be easy to go against her son and husband.

My concern is for her health. What if her husband carries the virus back into their home? That is why I suggested she tell her husband that they will have to isolate from each other for a while when he gats back. Maybe the inconvenience of that might make him think again?

Just because you could does not mean you should!

I think you instinct is correct. My DGCs and DDs live within walking distance but we have only spoken from the pavement and they at their doorway as we drop of bits or pass on a daily walk. At Christmas we allowed ourselves a 30 minute garden visit with each family. I know that is luxury for us compared to those who are miles away but what I am saying is we could easily spend more time but we do not want to become ill and then have them worry it was their fault!

Oh dear. Sure he wants to see and spend some time with them. But they say 6 miles of travel, as we are even afraid of going further ourselves these days. But think it's getting a bit ridiculous on the mileage restrictions unless you have a medical appointment then you can show appointment letter if stopped.

No offense but your husband sounds like a bit of a jackass. I'd wave him off then spend a week in my pyjamas, eating chocolate and taking control of the telly!!
(On a serious note... it's illegal so first sentence not strongly worded enough!)

It really irritates me. We live an hour and a half away from our son and grandchildren and we haven’t even been able to give them their Christmas presents yet.

i think it is very sad that so many people have died and others suffered serious illness and lasting disability because the uk govt was not strict enough from the beginning.

winterwhite Fri 12-Feb-21 11:20:23

No wonder when the elderly are so hyper-critical that the young get fed-up with being told to forego everything to protect us.

My sentiments exactly.

Marjgran

We have no idea why your husband wants to go? Maybe good reasons? If half term, parents may be very pressed. If there is no response and you suspect they are hurt, maybe there is more to this. We have to keep a sense of proportion and common sense. You don’t say whether the family are out and about and exposed, or relatively risk free, same with husband. Many families are making tough choices. I know one who from the outset have gone in and out of their daughter’s house to help with everything including childcare (has husband working from home) throughout whole pandemic. Daughter has severe life shortening and threatening underlying health conditions, had a stroke during last lockdown, both units have shielded from anyone else, but clearly against the earlier rules. But good on them - they have staved off other calamities.

Good on them! For using common sense. It's a rare commodity these days. If all of us had used our common sense from the beginning instead of blindly following what we were told to do we wouldn't be in the mess we in are now.

I think it is very sad how these restrictions are causing tensions within families. I know from experience the problems that are caused when others in the family do not see things the way you do.

It is no good anyone going on about the rules/advice/guidelines/ fines. At the end of the day you will have to live with your husband and presumably you still want contact with your son and his family. Those are the issues you should be taking into account.

Will the family be terribly upset if you don't go?
If you disapprove maybe it is better that you aren't there.
I don't think you can lay down the law, though, one way or the other. Your husband and son are both adults and can make their own decisions whether or not you approve.

Your decision too has to be respected. But that doesn't mean they have to like it. There are likely to be consequences whatever you do so make sure you make the right decision.

This is so hard for you to have such an important difference of opinion with your nearest relatives, your son and your husband.

Unless your relationship with these relations is such that they seriously respect your opinion there is nothing you can do to stop it happening.

When your husband comes home, you should keep away from him, ventilate your rooms thoroughly, and wash all his personal cutlery and toiletries very thoroughly and frequently until he has finished such quarantine as you are able to provide.

I was under the impression that we were not allowed to leave our local area? People travelled 15 miles to go sledging and were fined in my area so I think your journey is not allowed in the current lockdown.

Frue Is your son a single parent?

Unless for essential childcare purposes then your bubble is illegal. A single person household is allowed to bubble with ONE other household of any size - for example myself and my husband are bubbled with a single elderly friend who lives just down the road. Is it really worth breaking the rules now when freedom due to the vaccination is so close now? So far as I can see, reading the government rules for bubbles, your husband will be breaking the rules and could be fined if he is stopped by the police.

Frue there are posters who have not read the recent (confusing) bubble rules. You are in a (? Childcare?) bubble. Husband want to go because it is half term. But they don’t need childcare. So it is a trip. So not essential on the face of it. But the family are upset. So something afoot, even if it is only family disappointment. And a rupture between you and your husband. So sad for you in this conflict, but honestly, is this worth some of the ire on here? And police? And fines? Not IMHO

Government has received a lot of emails in support of gender neutral toilets. They now need more emails from women (and men!) saying they don't like gender neutral to offset this.

You can simply email [email protected] saying you are emailing in response to their consultation on toilet provision. Tell them you don't like the move to gender neutral and you want single-sex toilets. You can give reasons if you like but you don't have to. Its sending the email that counts to register your dislike of GN. This is simply a numbers game at this stage.

We are not advertising this action publicly on social media because that will only provoke the TRA to send more pro-gender neutral emails. This should remain a secret action only. We have until 26th February but best to just get an email sent now and get it done. Nothing gets published. Your names will not be made public

Each and every one of us has personal responsibility and you are taking action fulfilling your personal responsibility in my view 100% Don't be at all upset let your husband decide for himself what he wishes to do. be true to yourself and so then you are accountable for your own actions. You then can both do as you feel is right bless you

This sort of situation really makes me mad for myself but also for all the other people who are making sacrifices and Frues husband just feels he can go on holiday miles away presumably just because it is half term and he wants to. What a horribly pig headed man. This is so wrong, he can’t be in the families family bubble as it’s stated that they don’t need child care, he is not a single grandparent as he has Frue and he shouldn’t be travelling so far. I am usually very fair minded but Mr Frue is one of the reasons our Covid rates and deaths
are so high. If he doesn’t understand the rules now then hopefully the Police will be involved and he will be fined. It sounds as if Frues son takes after his father and is as bloody minded and arrogant. Well done Frue for resisting.

I would be really annoyed that he organised this without discussing with me

I can’t believe that a childcare bubble would be so far away and you can’t have any other sort of bubbles with them as bubbling is for single adults or single adults with children. From what you describe you wouldn’t be in either category and in my opinion it would be a foolish thing to do. Perhaps you could show your husband the official guidelines and persuade him not to go. It would be very unwise, and positively illegal to go. Plus you would be putting yourselves and your family at risk. Take care xx

I remember the flu of 1969 I was 10 and came home from school with it. Nan lived with us and her bed was down stairs so I climbed in waiting for mum to come home Two days later I was up and running about as normal. Nan was in hospital and never came home. To this day I can't forgive myself even though I know it was not really my fault. Both my DH and I have not left the house since March as there is no way we want to be responsible for passing it on to anyone and of course don't want to get it ourselves. You are defiantly doing the right thing.

Considering you are more than five miles away, you have made the right decision and shouldn’t be offending anyone

My sister & I both live alone, so formed a support bubble, even though we live 25 miles apart. As neither of us has a car we decided, when lockdown was reintroduced that our meeting could not be classed as essential journeys, therefore we haven't seen each other at all this year, difficult as it is. So, I'm absolutely on your side regarding this matter & think your husband & son are being extremely irresponsible.

Frue you've made your decision, DH has made his. I suspect he has reached the end of his tether and you can't change his mind. But don't allow yourself to be miserable and don't let it effect your relationship. Let Grandad send lots of lovely pics to you. FaceTime them all. And plan a lovely week for yourself doing all the things that you wouldn't normally do when he was there. As Brigidsdaughter said it could be bliss!