Gransnet forums

Bereavement

Doom and Gloom

(50 Posts)
debohunXL5 Mon 24-Dec-18 21:05:37

I was going to write about what an awful time I am having but instead I am just going to say I am thinking of all of you that have lost someone no matter what time of year it was. Christmas is always special and although many of us dread it without our loved ones try and think about the good memories we had with them at this time of year. Merry Christmas to all. Feel the love. flowers

labazs1964 Tue 25-Dec-18 10:54:47

christmas is a sad time for many i lost my uncle on christmas day years ago and knowing the wonderful times we had as a family christmas my parents not being here makes it worse luckily with my partner its a totally different life and we are working but this afternoon quiet couple hours so i think ill probably be joining you all god bless you all and i hope somehow someway the pain eases

Pastel Tue 25-Dec-18 10:56:57

This is my first Christmas without DH and I also lost my Mother this year. I am lucky to have a loving family who have rallied around. Best wishes to all who have lost someone and for everyone a peaceful New Year. xx

jocork Tue 25-Dec-18 11:34:54

Although I've not lost anyone recently I am spending Christmas day without seeing my DS for the first time ever. However I did see him on his birthday this year (12 days ago) for the first time since his 18th! He and his wife are with her parents for Christmas this year so I'll see him on the 28th. Meanwhile I'm with my DD until the 27th. I have much to be grateful for, so kind thoughts and hugs to those who feel sad this time of year. flowers

MadeInYorkshire Tue 25-Dec-18 11:43:40

starbox - time to kick him into touch and get rid methinks! That's no way to live and have to put up with sadly - I got rid of mine and it was the best thing I ever did! Can't really say you are staying for the kids anymore? ;) xx

Bamm Tue 25-Dec-18 11:54:51

Well pretty bad here as well. Husband died at this time of year 4 years ago after 10 years of terrible illness and dementia and now eldest son is staying with me with his wife who has dementia ( she is quite a lot older than him) and a lot of other problems too. He has been ill and just cant cope anymore. It's all blown up this very morning ...younger son in USA. Feel I have to hold it together for now, but the stress is taking its toll !
So sorry for others who are grieving and in despair today. X

kittylester Tue 25-Dec-18 11:58:07

Oh, crumbs! Love to all of you who are sad this Christmas for whatever reason.

sodapop Tue 25-Dec-18 12:16:27

Oh Bamm that is so hard for all of you. You have my sympathy. You will know better than I where to go for help and support so don't do this alone let others help.
Wishing you all peace.

Dana6789 Tue 25-Dec-18 12:20:33

Sending love and hope for better times to all the posters who are sad for whatever reason.
Star box, your enforced silence is an opportunity to think hard about what you can do to make life better for you. Don't be brow beaten by it, you deserve better.

EllanVannin Tue 25-Dec-18 12:33:14

I'd rather call this day a reflection rather than a celebration as the word celebration conjures up merriment and so forth as an excuse for a " blow-out ", which to my mind shouldn't be taken out of context.

margie303 Tue 25-Dec-18 13:23:55

Im staying with my daughter and granddaughter for a couple of weeks. We were told on Sunday that my SIL was killed in an accident last Friday. She and became close friends after my husband died 12 years ago. She was one of the loveliest people i have ever known. Im so stunned and shocked and very sad. However being with my daughter and granddaughter helps. She's 9 and can be really funny and cute

Barmeyoldbat Tue 25-Dec-18 13:29:23

I am staying positive today, it will be a happy day. I will try not not to think about my daughter who is on her own 54 miles, living alone with carers coming in to help. She has refused all offers and invitations for Christmas so instead will sit along all day in a very cold room because she will not have the heating on. I have accept that people will make bad choices but its hard. On the positive side, I have been for a bike ride, my OH for a run and now we are getting reading to join friends for dinner. Happy Christmas one and all.

b1zzle Tue 25-Dec-18 13:34:08

dear starbox. You are describing the situation I left this year as I couldn't take any more. My heart goes out to you. Yes, I feel lonely today on Christmas Day but it's nothing like the loneliness I felt back then. Be strong. Be brave. My thoughts are with you.

annsixty Tue 25-Dec-18 14:21:07

I have just returned from visiting my H in his care home.
He has been there about 4 weeks after 6 years with dementia and then suffering a severe stroke in April.
We have been married for 60 years so a massive change for us both this year.
He is content, well looked after so I count my blessings and look back on all the good times we have had with gratitude.
My D is here for 4 days and we intend to enjoy ourselves the best way we can.
Best wishes to you all.
May you find some comfort and good moments during the day..

Anniebach Tue 25-Dec-18 14:46:18

annsixty love and hugs x

Purplepoppies Tue 25-Dec-18 15:29:24

Sending a hug to all who'd like one ?.
This is the first ever Christmas day I've actually been sat on my own. I won't see a soul. I have kept myself busy, trying to see off the emotional stuff. So far it's working.
My dd & dgds are coming tomorrow, I can't wait. If this is going to be how Christmas day will be from now on I'd rather be on a beach on my own than here. I struggle with emotions Christmas time as it, being alone isn't what I want or need.

Anniebach Tue 25-Dec-18 16:49:32

Purplepoppies I doubt many who are alone today have chosen to be. Think about tomorrow and your family with you . Hugs to you x

travelsafar Tue 25-Dec-18 17:20:42

For all of us suffering the pain of grief if you need to cry then cry for ' Tears are the blood of an emotional wound'.I believe these wordswere written by Carl Jung.

maryhoffman37 Tue 25-Dec-18 20:19:01

I'm so sorry for anyone feeling sad today. Blessings on you all and may things get better soon.

etheltbags1 Tue 25-Dec-18 20:35:10

My dds partner has lost his gran 2 days ago. So christmas is a bit gloomy for them. Things are so much worse at this time its tome to ban it all

Saetana Tue 25-Dec-18 21:04:56

Sending love and hugs to all those who are grieving at this time of year flowers

nigglynellie Wed 26-Dec-18 11:22:01

I must admit that I find Christmas day difficult. The ghosts of christmas's past rear their heads, and try as I might parents, uncles cousins who were all part of our happy family particularly at christmas are now dead or living the other side of the world and seem further away than ever. I am lucky in that I have a loving DH, and reasonably (!!) attentive children, but they have in-laws and teenagers to consider, which is fine and as it should be, but for us it just feels quiet, slightly lonely and deflating!
Today, Boxing Day is much better! Washing in the machine, hoovering done, dog walked! In other words, back to normal!!! Tomorrow DD is coming + family, so I should count my blessings and get a grip. Its just Xmas day that has, for years, been an emotional problem.

Anniebach Wed 26-Dec-18 11:33:02

I find Christmas Day difficult, I try not to think of my darling elder daughter, my husband, my two babies who were still born, my parents , but there are moments the thoughts creep in, that’s how it is,

FranT Thu 27-Dec-18 14:48:26

I'm fed up of hiding my misery since my husband died last year, but no one likes a misery guts so firmly paste on that smile eh! Hope everyone enjoys their Christmas in their own way. x

Anniebach Thu 27-Dec-18 15:26:40

I have never thought that anyone grieving is a misery guts