Who cares about becoming invisible?

Now, Judi Dench and Maggie Smith as role models is much more likely for me. Age to them seems more a case of playing a different role - not of having no role at all.

(And the wonderful lady whose name escapes me who plays Peggy Archer.)

I don't care about being invisible. In fact I'm quite looking forward to it.

Mollie that photo of the lingerie model is a very good example of beauty in older women. Thanks for posting. I could do with her as a role model, because I all too easily err on the side of slob

I'm still trying to perfect the art of being invisible when I want to be invisible. I often feel too visible.

jeni, are you sure people aren't just pretending not to see you in an effort to be casual about seeing someone "moving around in a minority way"? I find my eyes are naturally drawn to the unusual and that includes wheelchairs and mobility scooters. Like absent, I'm sure you can make yourself visible when you want to

I have always been invisible to the "gels" at make up and perfume counters even when I stand there holding a product I want to buy.
Years ago in my local Spar the owner and son were busy chatting and did not serve me so I put the items I wanted to buy and walked out. They later complained to my husband about my attitude. We don't shop there now. Nor do most of the village.

I don't feel invisible! And if someone treats me as though I'm an idiot then I would assume they would treat other people, of what ever age, in the same way! When that happens I can summon my inner Dowager quite readily but I also think a friendly smile and an interest in other people goes a long way.

Like Soutra, I admire other people for their achievements and I fully intend to be Judi Dench next time round, though the haircut wouldn't suit me!

Can't say I have ever felt I am invisible although sometimes I think it might be nice. There are always the odd impatient people around but I just pretend they are invisible.

Occasionally when I have to use my 'mean machine' ( electric scooter) I find people are on the whole, kind and helpful.

As for people jumping queues and not being served whilst the assistants chat, I suppose it depends if you are confident enough to speak out. In most situations I find a smile and or a light remark seem to get me through.

Role models ? Well I think my parents bought me up to be a fairly nice person and to get on with life in the best way I could so whilst I might admire people for things they do I don't feel I need a role model now.

Last year I posted a thread about women and later on men becoming invisible as they become older. I don't want the younger people to bow and scrap before me but as Lizg says at least not have a door not held for me when I've held it for others. Not to tut at me but to be patient.

I'm quite good with computers and like looking round computer shops. I love it when a young man asks if he can help (in the tone of "do you realise this is a computer shop?") I then ask a tough technical question just to watch his expression. I once demonstrated TO the assistant how to use the video making program as he wasn't sure. At the Apple Genius Bar I asked a question the assistant couldn't answer - not deliberately - but it did generate some respect for the older generation.

I meant to add that on the whole I find a smile and a wisecrack can usually diffuse any uncomfortable situations. Failing that I revert to teacher mode. I can still do "the look" - a slightly raised eyebrow and a grim stare.

Funny enough I was thinking about this the other day. Now I'm not saying this is a fact but are we women (not us granetters) complain when we are young that we are only seen as sexual beings. Then when we are ageing and no longer seen as sexual beings we complain that we have become invisible. I was no great beauty but I had a fair share of second glances and wolf whistles. No more I look my age and I have now become almost invisible. If I'm honest I do miss it a bit. However it has it's upsides. I don't have to worry so much. What I am finding hard is that I was once right in the centre of things both family and work now I am aware that younger members are now taking on that role and I'm moving towards the outer edges. It's natural the circle of life I suppose. So Molly I do think it's an interesting topic and a relevant one. I don't need a role model but I would appreciate seeing more people over 50 in the media.

Aka you can wear your pants any which way you like - over the jim jams, back to front - even on your head - that certainly would provoke a reaction!

I am a role model for myself.
I can be charming or I can do 'the look', and I'm only 'invisible' when I choose to be.
Generally, I find being older is liberating and although I do have lapses of confidence, and times when I feel anxious, I keep them to myself.

Or share them with Gransnet

Rockgran We had computers way back with the BBC Micro, so I acquired a certain familiarity with them. Then came an exciting addition - a handheld scanner that you could roll down the page and capture an image.

I bought one of these, attached it and found it did not work. What's more, with a bit of exploration and a vague memory of things DH had muttered about problems he had had with equipment at work,, I found out why it did not work -( its choices of IRQs was totally incompatable with the IRQs of the other bits that it was working with, if you really want to know)

So I took it back, and just said it would not work with my computer and I was returning it. Teenage expert took it into a back room to the boss, came back and said it worked perfectly with theirs, had I switched it on properly, and no, I could not get my money back, so I asked him about his IRQs.

He looked completely flummoxed, took it back into the back room again to ask his boss and returned with the money.

Non illegitimi corborundum.

I don't think I've ever felt invisible - maybe I'm too tall! A bit like a scraggy wallflower What I do find sometimes, though, is that shop assistants can be extra 'nice' to me. That I don't mind. My having long white hair might be a bit of a let-down to any half-interested workie on a building site, though -when I turn round!

Marelli you have what is known as "presence"...a very lovely lady.

Personally, I couldn't care less. I've more important things to concern me.

When I was having problems with a printer/scanner that I had bought from Comet a young salesman asked me what brand of computer I was using. When I told him it was no brand - I built it myself from scratch (quite true) he started to look at me in a new light!

RESPECT to elegran and lefthanded

If I have someone with me, I get talked across, not to. And people cross in front of me as though I wasn't there and obviously can't see me when they're chatting on the thoroughfare and blocking it! Even when I ask excuse me please or toot my horn!
I'm obviously inaudible as well as invisible!

When I grow up I'm going to be Christine Lagarde. She's my role model and I do need one.

Whoever talks across you to someone who is standing, is very rude, Galen. I bet you don't find they do it if they're sitting down, (where you're all included in a group)?

Well said glass.

There was a time, very long ago, when visibility reduced me to a state of invisibility - a state of nothingness and worthlessness.

Today, I now choose. On the whole, nobody defines my feelings about how I am seen or how I see myself in this world. I'm private and somewhat reclusive when I want to be, a way of being invisible if you like. That's my 'go to' option. But then there are other times when I like being visible - just a bit.

As B said, it's an art that needs to be perfected - rather like tuning a piano.

rockgran I can raise one eyebrow, it's genetic (I think), my dad could do the same and so can my brother. The only time I ever had a shot of botox, I lost that ability and was horrified!

I can raise both of mine!

Father could waggle his ears. I can't!

My father could waggle his ears too. Are we sisters?

I wish! I never had a sister, only a little brat of a younger brother!