Grandchildren illness

That’s when they need you the most!

Looking after poorly grandchildren is a duty first of the parents, then of the grandparents.

As grandparents who are retired from paid work, my wife and I stand ready to help with the care of our grandchildren at the drop of a hat.

Provided we are not away on holiday when our daughters would not dream of asking.

...but we both have our ‘flu jabs.

Just recovered from the most horrid snottiest cold ever, courtesy of my youngest grandson. Of course I don’t like catching stuff as does take me longer to recover but actually feel humbled that they are almost as happy to be with me as with their mummy when poorly.

The term ‘phobia’ is sometimes misused for a dislike. Phobias can be treated with various degrees of success.
I recoiled from the smell of vomit until I qualified as a teacher (in the days before numerous assistants). The first time a child in my class vomited I was too busy reassuring the distressed child and keeping the rest of the class at a distance to react. I held my breath and got on with it, just like changing that first smelly nappy!

I don’t intend to sound smug but just to say that overcoming disgust is possible, even for me!

I would look after my GC whilst they were ill but when I am ill my DD’s stay as far away as they can, understandably because they dont want to catch what I have or the children either, BUT I do feel very isolated and alone when that happens.

Seaside my daughter has had amazing results after just an hour's treatment by a hypnotherapist - I urge yout to try this if you can afford it, I had always been sceptical but was stunned by the results. You don't want to have to go through the rest of your life like this.

Seaside22
I totally understand, as this is me as well...........
I have OCD as well, and get worse when tired and over-stressed or ill..............

Oh thank you for the helpful information. I Have been thinking about looking into doing something for a while, I have had it all my life, and now in my 60s, but with the onset of poorly relatives and grandchildren it's probably time.Thank you

Luckily I live too far away to have to make that decision. My first GD, now 25, who did live close by, was seldom ill and I was never asked to sit with her - I was still at work anyway when she was little.

Bathsheba
I would not worry too much about user names as no doubt throughout the world you would come across and in the most unlikely places persons with your username
I am not a face booker, twitterer or skyeper so no worries
for me in those departments.
I have a relative who has given her children what you hjt could describe as biblical names, Ruth, Mary Adam and David. So without a doubt there are many of your name sakes around

??

Harrigran you do have very good reason to avoid infection and anybody would understand that. No argument.
But a child being sick is not necessarily the same thing as Norovirus is it?
I also do not think that a phobia ranks along with depression.
So being “paranoid” about “catching” anything from grandchildren still seems precious to me. There are many things we put up with having our babies and bringing them up and I would like to think that under normal circumstances most people would put their DC and DGC first.

I won't have them if it's diarrhoea and sickness orherwise ok

When my mum was alive but v aged I did try and avoid having sick grandchildren around as I was her carer, now I don't worry so much with coughs and sneezes but would try and avoid stomach upsets as they luckily shake them off quickly but I don't.

You do what feels right for you. I look after my grandchildren when they have any but sickness bugs, and my daughter in laws know this. They have to be in the house and cope, as we did when our children were young. If you dont have to catch these things, you shouldn't feel guilty, and should stay clear if you want too.

I developed a " phobia of vomiting" as a 12 year old girl at school. Back in the days when we sat in two seater desks with joint seat. The girl sat next to me threw up all over the desk and surrounding area, including partly onto me. The teacher as was the way back in the 50s sent one of the boys for the bucket of sawdust to cope with the mess. Someone had to take the sick girl home and I was also allowed to go home and change. I have had my share of "sickness bugs", severe morning sicknesses with each child, and now on chemo get severe sickness for several days of each round. Some people have stronger stomachs than others dealing with vomiting. As you age anyway your immune system is not as strong as when you are a much younger person. Looking after the grandkids is one thing with coughs and colds, sickness bug ...no way. As a matter of interest a lot of people are quite unaware that the Norovirus is still live inside your body for a full 48hours after your symptoms have subsided and you are at risk of passing this horrendous bug onto others if you mix with others too soon, go back to work too soon etc. It used to be called Gastric Flu in my childhood and you would be kept away from work for a full week to prevent contaminating other people.

No, it's not unreasonable. Children need their parents when they are ill. Emergency care only if they are ill. The parents commit to have children - it's their responsibility.

Older people have weaker immune systems and do not bounce back as the did when they were youger.My husband recently spent 12 nights on CCU,the last 24hrs he began coughing terribly.He was discharged,I caught it and we had three courses of antibiotiics and because I smoked,years ago,I had to have 2 courses of steroids,which I was very frightened of ,as you are more susceptible to infections.My nephew,wife and four children ,the youngest on antibiotics for a throat infection,wanted to visit .We said no,and why.We haven't heard from them since.The illness aged us both.It left us feeling very vulnerable.I was a nurse for fifty years and I realise now that you need to protect yourself,or who will look after you?

I personally have never said no, my immune system is pretty resilient now, and am close enough to my grandkids that they are happy to be with me as a surrogate parent.

I myself would never refuse to look after a sick grandchild, but then I am not at all concerned about catching things, and both my DH and I are healthy, touch wood.

However, if you are seriously worried about catching illnesses, or have a condition that makes even a cold potentially more dangerous for you than for me, then I think you should explain kindly when the grandchildren are all well to their parents, that looking after sick kiddies is not, and never has been your thing, or that you because of your own state of health just cannot help out.

Your children won't be happy about it, as getting sick children looked after is well-nigh impossible, and employers are not amenable to parents taking time off work because the kindergarten or creche, sensibly refuses to take in sick children, but that cannot be helped, if your really cannot help them out.

It's not unreasonable no, it's much harder for an older person to shake off illness and can often lead to worse health problems and possibly hospitalisation.

So glad my grandchildren are adults and this question doesn't arise. If it did I'm afraid I'd have to say no, I have lung problems and have to avoid catching colds, flu or sore throats as it could give me real problems. Had to cancel a dental appointment last week because dentist had been off work the previous day with a heavy cold.

I would dearly love to live near enough so that I could look after any sick grandchildren when needed. No-one likes vomiting or dealing with it, but I'd happily deal with it if it meant I could see more of the GC.