Wedding help with Granny

Similar situation for a family wedding when my mum was that age. We were all staying in a B and B and the landlady kindly agreed that she and dad ( mum frail, dad recovering from an op) could stay there all morning, which is what they wanted. They sat in the garden, read the papers, relaxed. We did various errands and brought us all a sandwich back for lunch, then changed and set off for wedding which was at 2pm.

They were rested and not stressed. Lasted the day well but were ready to call it a day by 9pm. Worked well, but they called the shots, sensibly, knowing their limitations.
Hope it works out for you, OP.

My lovely MiL lived independently on the top floor of what were then still council flats until she was 98 & only had daily carers popping in during her last couple of years. She took herself to hairdressers and local shops. She was as deaf as a post and crossed the duel carriageway outside the estate to get to the bus stop. However she was mentally alert and did a daily crossword & other puzzles and always had 2/3 books from the large print section of the library on the go.
It is different if someone is becoming easily confused and forgetful. I understand that it would be disaster for the bride if the day became a 'Find the Granny' day.
I think that she may like the company of any grandchildren or gt nieces/nephews to accompany her on whatever SHE wans to do.

Yes but what exactly is 'diminishing brain power' Jalima?? I think I have that....... OP doesn't make it clear if her mother never makes any decisions for herself or not. She says she is 'under her wing for the 3 day event' So who's 'wing' is she under the rest of the 362 days of the year? That is not clear.

As has been said if the mum lacks mental capacity then there is a problem. If not, then mum is more than entitled to make her own decisions and choices. Being overly protective and worried is not a good enough reason to try to keep someone a prisoner in a b and b. Not in my book.

Yes, me too Bluegal
I seem to spend a lot of time telling a tale only to forget a name, a place etc; however, my friends and I are hoping that is a normal process.

I don't think we know enough - I was just going by what the OP has said.
I'd quite like to be a prisoner in a b&b for a few days, actually, B, B and evening meal please.

I agree PECS - re the 'Find a Granny Day'
However, it would make it a very memorable wedding.

No, give me a top class hotel with gym, sauna and beauty parlour ...and I'm with you Jalima

you're on
and a hairdresser - you haven't seen my hair after a sauna!

Just digressing a little but a funny and true story....One of my mum's friends is 100 in August and we have all been invited to her party. This woman went into a department store by herself and bought a pair of shoes, telling the assistant that it was "for dancing at my 100th birthday party". This was passed on by the assistant to her bosses and there was a newspaper appeal to track this amazing woman down...we all saw it and she returned (alone) to the shop and said "I believe you are looking for me? Can I just say...I am NOT guilty" ha ha ha.

The shop treated her to a pair of very high quality shoes.

Sorry, doesn't help the OP but I think it is wonderful and shows that our older generation should never be written off as 'incapable' - unless, of course, they have been medically diagnosed as lacking mental capacity.

I think the OP is worried that something will go wrong that will then ruin the day

What if she has a fall.
What if she gets lost and can’t find her way back to the B &B. ( not everywhere has taxis on the street)
What if she’s late back and then she’s not ready and is late to the wedding.
What if she’s exhausted and feels ill at the ceremony.
What if (and these ones actually happened to me) she announces she’s had enough and wants to go home. Even though home is 150 miles away! And she expects some one to leave the Reception and drive it and drive back again.

Or she goes to buy a few things, loses her purse (which shop did she leave it in?), ends up in the local police station who send for the relative....

Or, actually I can’t even bear to type the details of this one but it involved going out on the morning of a funeral, not being able to find a toilet in time and the river.

Sorry, not every elderly relative is reasonable about what they can and can’t do. It’s all very well saying she’s an adult and should make her own decisions but it can spoil it for a lot of other people when determined independence gets it wrong.

Hoping there is someone in the family who is kind and caring enough to actually enjoy some time exploring the shops and cafés with an older relative.
Are the the 'jobs' so essential?

Oh dear Eglantine look on the bright side why don't you.

Good idea Elrel

Realistic though, sodapop

We did worry like that about MIL but in fact the worries never materialised.

Oh, it’s funny NOW.......

not every elderly relative is reasonable about what they can and can’t do.
it turned out in the end that our relative could actually do what she said, but we still worried.
However, she didn't quite reach 88 (but nearly).

Agree with some of the other posters. If your mother wants to go shopping let her go and don't be judgemental. If she later decides she is tired and wants her bed again let her go. You would hack me off if you were my daughter.