Lack of friends

Alexa
Your post @ 12.28.
Yes they do. We have quite a few single male friends and they all go to the pub for company.
I'm afraid your view of women being perceived as looking 'odd' if going into a pub alone are a little outdated.
I don't know where you live but here in Southend there are a lot of pubs where nobody would think twice if a woman of any age were to come in on her own.

I agree, petra. I go to the pub alone a lot. I have a couple of local pubs I like. I also lead walks for a rambling group. I plan new walks on my own and part of this is checking out pubs on route to see which would be good for group refreshment stops. On solo holidays in the UK I go to the local pubs to eat and drink. Wherever I am, if I am need of refreshment I go into a pub. I don’t think twice about it. If it turns out to be a pub full of sweary men I don't stay but you soon get to know the kind of clientele different pubs attract.

Join a group you cant have real friends on line,its hard I should know as Im on my own So have to make a bad effort to get out and inter act.
You are lucky you have a husband so you really are not on your own.

Pubs are so different these days I find. Most serve more coffee and food than alcohol during the day. Its no different to going to costa

Join a group you cant have real friends on line
Agree with that. Was quite involvef in a group online who eventually started meeting in person. Only one was exactly how they came across online. The others didnt decieve its more that online people share a version or side to themselves. Not on purpose. But its a filter of sorts

Notanan2, you mean converting acquaintances into close friends? You have to have the first before you can proceed to the second, unfortunately.

I suppose it's about finding 'like-minded' people, although some might say I'm a bit Pollyanna-ish in that I do like most people I meet. That's why the recent person I met and disliked has been quite a shock!

I know I've missed out at times by not making a move. I am involved in a local one-day annual festival and have met some fascinating people through that. It's gone no further, though, because I hadn't swapped contact details or even found out their name.

Notanan2, you mean converting acquaintances into close friends? You have to have the first before you can proceed to the second, unfortunately.

Lots of dates dont necessarily translate as more likely to find a long term partner. Sometimes people who are serial daters do better when they stop trying to force it...

..same for friends, I think. Its an organic thing that cant easily be manufactured or forced.

Colverson- one might have a husband but can still be lonely. I know, was married for 11 years and was very lonely. I divorced him for several other reasons.

Petra wrote:

"Alexa
Your post @ 12.28.
Yes they do. We have quite a few single male friends and they all go to the pub for company.
I'm afraid your view of women being perceived as looking 'odd' if going into a pub alone are a little outdated.
I don't know where you live but here in Southend there are a lot of pubs where nobody would think twice if a woman of any age were to come in on her own."

I feel okay even at my age, and even arriving by mobility scooter, to go into a pub during the day for food or a sit down with coffee. I'd look extraordinary lonely if I went to any sort of pub, even the new trend in hobby pubs, by myself at night. Has any gran ever seen an eighty seven year old woman sitting in a pub alone at night?

Vauxhall, I think I might recommend line dancing for you and your husband. Could you persuade him to accompany you as your birthday present?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I’m 65, two daughters one grandchild living with my partner Judith. I don’t have close friends and I do have some friendships but I need to connect with other people. I’m depressed and I’m trying to volunteer but with no success at present. I would like to have others to talk to online, pen pal etc but the internet seems to offer suspect unsafe sites. I live in in North Yorkshire so if possible connecting with people I could eventually meet up with would be very welcome.

I promised a gransnet member that l would contact her after Easter. I tried to this morning but was told that there is no-one answering to Blueskyl. Can you help. I think she lives somewhere near Haywards Heath in West Sussex.

To Vauxhall58,
Please don't give up. Like so many other ladies on this thread, l know how you feel. Personally l talk to myself when l feel really low. It helps a little bit.
Reading something that someone had suggested on here, perhaps it would be a good idea for people to put their postcodes on here, not the complete thing,but enough for others to be able to identify others nearby. A general message posted on here to those who would like to have a meeting/tea, coffee, with others could result. Also, hopefully more than one person would show up.
I haven't put this particularly lucidly but I'm sure you understand
I'm going to do this myself, who knows, more than one person may well show up. There are so many people who are hurting.

DH and I are opposites when it comes to socialising. I want to get out there and meet people and he has to be dragged kicking and screaming. But once there he is far more sociable than I. He seems to be able to chat to anyone while I lurk on the fringes and if I do contribute anything it's ignored, only for someone else to repeat it a minute later and to be treated as a great wit. Even if I manage to get involved I find the effort exhausting after a while and can't wait to go home. Again I think this is something to do with being an only child and being solitary. I ought to know by now that I'm never going to fit in but I foolishly keep trying. DH would be happy never to have to speak to anyone again!

We're the opposite. I am antisocial whereas he has to have friends around all the time. If it wasn't for me hed be out every night.
I see women together chatting away and imagine they are sisters.
I have some lovely friends. One I met through yoga I think. Another through another friend who's now died.
I keep them separate.

I like doing things on my own. I couldn't bear shopping with anyone else.
I see these men hanging around the lingerie dept waiting for their women folk to come out of the changing room. It seems weird to me.

Maybe you are putting too much importance on finding a true friend?