Christmas Day without family!

Interesting Chestnut, so many older people seem to think of themselves as a ‘ burden ‘ which is sad.So, nice to read that actually, sometimes they are wanted.

I find that the problem with Christmas is that people have expectations about the season, and if they’re not met, you’ve got a family feud on your hands.

We had difficulties with both sets of parents over the years when we suggested changes to the usual routine, and for that reason, we always said we would never pressure our own children, not that we want to, we are quite happy on our own .

I have enjoyed two Christmas’ alone. Both due to being too ill to travel to visit my 3 DD.
I spent the day watching box sets on Netflix. I cooked myself my own mini Christmas roast! As I am a veggie it was quite quick as no bird to baste for hours etc! But I made my own nut roast, half of which I froze for another time, Yorkshire puddings, honey roasted sweet potatoes and carrots petit pois, ordinary crispy roast potatoes (half left cold and sautéed in garlic olive oil for a Boxing Day brunch!) veggie bacon and Linda M sausage. No need to eat any more that day except my night treat of Stilton and crackers and a mini bottle of champers! As well as a lovely box of hand made chocolate truffles I treated myself to.
I had a lovely time and wound up the day with a soak in a hot bath of lavender and a new book I had been saving for the occasion.
The next year I was with family and this year will have all 3 AC and 6 DGC around! so very different but both fun in their own ways.
I didn’t mind being on my own at Christmas as I am quite self sufficient and resourceful. I FaceTimed the family on the day and have to confess that several friends invited me to share their Christmas Day but were politely declined. You can enjoy a quiet Christmas in my opinion if you set your mind to do so

After 40 odd years of Christmas with family last year was my husband and myself's first Christmas by ourselves one son and family away second son and family at home relaxing and daughter with the out-laws. And us we had Hairy Bikers french dipped roast beef sandwiches by the fire in our Jim jams reading dozing channel surfing. It was wonderful but I wouldn't want to do every year ?

Spent quite a few Christmasses on my own. Absolutely fine to say the least. I always hope for a call from both of my S and so far have been lucky with that's no matter where they've been in the world. If they're ok, I'm ok. My gift - if an adult needs one - is just to have their contact.

Jenpax

That sounds lovely!

I think the secret to a successful solitary Christmas, is to not under any circumstances start feeling sorry for yourself.

After my divorce 20 years ago, the kids spent most Christmases with their Dad and step-mum, and I learnt to love Christmas day on my own. I buy in a lot of smoked salmon, champagne and a good box-set and slouch around all day enjoying total self-indulgence. Over the years, they have sometimes come home for Christmas and joined in the slouching, but now all are paired up and are building their own Christmas traditions with their spouses/partners and children. I can honestly say that I enjoy Christmas on my own much more than big family get-togethers.

We have a big family get-together at Epiphany, exchanging (small) gifts, a big meal and a lot of merriment. Now there are a lot of us, we tend to have lunch in a local gastro-pub across the road. These are really joyous occasions, and doing it this way means my kids never have that awful “my parents place or yours” conversation every year.

Now widowed I do prefer to spend the time alone. Did invite a friend to share once - he had a fall - visit to A&E - cracked rib - then couldn't do anything including eating the Christmas dinner with all the trappings!! A real case of 'man flu' in overdrive!! What a waste of time, money and effort!

We no longer have a big family Christmas get together. Our family is getting smaller and is too spread out around the country, animals to look after as well as not really wanting to spend the day with certain members!!!! It is rather nice to be able to choose exactly what to do. We have been on holiday before but H can no longer fly so holidays are restricted to this beautiful country. Lake District is especially lovely at Christmastime. Do what you want to do.

I’ve always enjoyed a family Christmas. However a friend spent last Christmas and new year in the Canaries and I was so taken with the idea of how peaceful it was, I suggested to DP we try that this year. Best laid plans.... DD is expecting our second GC on New Years Eve, so we’re going nowhere instead, not even for our usual few days in Northumberland. It is for the best possible of reasons and we’ve moved our Canary break forward to November. There’s always next year.

I know exactly where you’re coming from, inthewrongroom
I used to love my solitary Christmases the years I opted to have them. I’d start Christmas Eve, with a tray of nibbles I fancied on my lap watching soppy and festive stuff on the TV or a video. I’d cook a breakfast on The Day and a lunch with all the trimmings. Then crusty rolls with cold meat for tea. Bliss!!
I’ve moved nearer my young grandsons now, so it’ll be a few years before I get the opportunity to do it again, I expect!

My mother in law when she was alive always wanted to have Christmas Day to herself - this used to upset her daughters a lot but she insisted she wanted to spend it on her own.

Since we have moved to a smaller place where we don't have the space to entertain en masse we have been booking to go to our local restaurant on the day.
My DD and my 4 x DGSs and DGD have booked a large table for 4pm on the afternoon,all the boys are single and live independently so they love the fact they don't have to think about catering for the big day and we can spend the afternoon catching up with each other which is wonderful.
On boxing day I will go to DDs and cater for a buffet for everyone and other relatives will drop by,then home to my nice tidy bungalow - heaven.

Since my kids have become adults Christmas Day is pretty low-key which suits all of us just fine. None live far away and it's spent here. My youngest daughter walks over and we cook the meal together and it's ready when it's ready. It's not as if there's a lack of nibbles to stave off peckishness.

It's relaxed and although presents are exchanged it's nothing over the top at all (DH needed a new pair of slippers last year as the old ones were threadbare). Although there's usually a bottle or two of fizz no-one gets blotto (in my experience a surfeit of alcohol invites squabbling).

I have had some right S** christmas days in the past and the last couple of them have been great. Just me, my husband and my youngest son on the day. We have a christmas lunch which is a joint effort, then watch what we want on TV and then buffet tea. More TV and then off to bed. My son usually goes out on Boxing Day and me and hubby go for a nice walk and it involves the pub and a full english breakfast, great.

My idea christmas day though would be sitting on a beach and having cheese and tomato sandwiches washed down with beer. It would have to be a warm place though as our beaches are too cold at this time of year. Ahhhhhh one day....................

Enjoy it, whatever you do. x

My son and daughter in law decided they would like to spend Christmas in Amsterdam a few years ago - just the two of them. When they came back they said 'Never again!' They missed the usual family gathering etc. and it all just felt odd. But the worst bit was being served reindeer in the hotel for Christmas lunch!? Me, I'd just be happy to be on a hot beach and ignore the whole thing!

We always have Christmas Day on our own as all our children and most of their wives bar 1 come from broken marriages so there are too many parents for them to go to. We have Open House on Boxing Day but there is no compulsion for anybody to attend. Most turn up year after year which is lovely and it is the one time we get to have all 6 of our children and their families together. My favourite but most exhausting day of the year.

How about suggesting to your daughter you have a "give back " Christmas. The 2 of you volunteer at a homeless shelter? Or go to friends for Christmas lunch? If neither of those are an option, l think you are stuck till she leaves home.
My kids took over Christmas 5yrs ago, l loved having nothing to do. But lm taking it back this year. Why? Because lve missed it ! Strange but true.

inthewrongroom
I don't suppose you are alone in your thinking but appears to me from your comments that it's YOU, and I quote 'they expect me to do it' that has stopped YOU in the past from beggaring off.Why? do you owe them something?
Plenty of time to make arrangements so get started and enjoy a festive season of your choosing.

if you are considering volunteering, get your name down early!
Many places are full of people who want to opt out of the spendfest.

How do you manage to afford all that ‘Bucks Fizz for the bath’ namaste? Doesn’t it leave you a little sticky?
??

We were exhausted after last Christmas, maybe age has something to do with it after having done it for years! So this year we are going away, just the two of us and we looking forward to it.

I think I really like the idea of going away for Christmas. I might suggest to Mr Merryweather that we do just that.
I've had huge Christmas day do's for the children and grandparents over the years to take the strain from my elderly relatives. However by 3/4 I'm shattered and stuffed full- a nap or break is needed. However guests want drinks topping, food food and more food made and I never sit down let alone enjoy the day. I barely see my girls because I'm in the kitchen.
I genuinely would love a much lower key Christmas. Even by a UK coast and pop to the beach to toe dip - freeze.

I haven't done Xmas at home for years. I go to youngest son's house. D.i.l. is an inclusive type of girl - the more, the merrier. My divorced daughter and her kids are also invited. We hardly do a thing, but we contribute to her Xmas shopping at Costco, the previous week. She has a very efficient mum and dad who organise everything. We just go and enjoy .

In the past 40 years I've hosted and cooked the Xmas meal for anything between 9 to 16 people.We used to have a bigger house ,and can still seat 8 comfortably now.But in recent years I have enjoyed Xmas less - the build up starts too early,and although a competent cook I'm ready to hand the baton on . I had suggested if DH and I hosted again I would like to plonk a huge lasagne on the table after a walk to the pub ,rather than spend half the day in the kitchen.That was enough to cause uproar as they all want a traditional roast,but got a good result because DD who lives nearby said she would do it.All I'm required to make is the red cabbage everyone loves. So now I'm actually looking forward to it.And will keep all other meals whilst family staying simple .
Years ago we went away with DHs parents and his sister's family and had separate accomodation in the same lovely place with beach walks for the dogs and a restaurant meal on Xmas day.That worked well and if we can afford it may consider that in the future.Otherwise I love being in our own home fir Xmas.Just less cooking please!