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Divorced.Remarried.o r still with your first love

(83 Posts)
TrendyNannie6 Tue 11-Feb-20 08:23:19

Having a conversation with some friends last week, we were discussing how many of us have been divorced, we are four friends in our fifties and sixties, all four of us have remarried, one friend on her third marriage, not one of us could think of any other friends that were still with their first loves,

Retired65 Thu 13-Feb-20 19:58:19

Only one husband. We have now been married for 32 years. Before this one boyfriend for over 16 years, who never wanted to get married. P.R. went out with other women when he was going out with me! I remember him telling me about one of his lady friends, who moved up north and had written him a letter telling him she didn't want to see him again. I often wondered if he was sleeping with her. I knew deep down he would never marry me or want to live together but I didn't want to lose him as a friend. Eventually, I met someone else, who is now my husband.

gulligranny Wed 12-Feb-20 22:37:07

Disastrous marriage in my 20s (only way to leave home), divorced in my late 30s, met the love of my life when I was 60. We've now been together for 14 years, married for 11 and it's bliss.

Jane43 Wed 12-Feb-20 22:24:31

We met at the age of 20 and married when we were 21 in 1965. We still love each other very much and rarely have a cross word now as we have been together so long we seem to share the same opinions and attitudes. Our two sons both have long and happy marriages, older son 22 years to his second wife and younger son 26 years to his first wife. We had ups and downs in the early years but are both thankful we worked to overcome our difficulties.

Sar53 Wed 12-Feb-20 21:53:49

Married aged 20 in 1974. Divorced after 17 years but produced 2 lovely daughters. 8 year very damaging relationship, then 8 years on my own. Met my second husband online 12 years ago and we married last year. Very happy, 4 daughters and 10 grandchildren between us.

Gardenersdelight2 Wed 12-Feb-20 21:13:11

First and only, met when were 15 &18 married 3 years later , will be 34 years this summer

Suki70 Wed 12-Feb-20 19:21:32

We met at school, I was 15, he was 17 and we lived in different towns. Girls and boys were not allowed to speak to each other in the corridors so our first meeting (at a youth club) was arranged by a boy in my form. We married when I was 20 and still at University and we'll have our 57th anniversary in July. Testing times now as he hasn't been well for some time but if only he would put his hearing aids in I'd cope!

ananimous Wed 12-Feb-20 18:55:47

I always introduce hubby as my first husband (54yrs happily married, so far...)

H1954 Wed 12-Feb-20 18:45:27

Divorced and living with a lovely OH! Sadly, I didn't marry the love of my life otherwise I may never have got divorced!

watermeadow Wed 12-Feb-20 18:39:59

The majority of my friends are widowed. I’m divorced, 30 years ago, and after an unhappy marriage I never wanted to form any relationship with a man again.
I admire couples who have stayed together for many years and seeing an old couple holding hands is lovely because nobody has ever held mine, apart from the many children in my life.

SueDonim Wed 12-Feb-20 11:58:39

How lovely to read of these long, happy marriages! ❤️

For me, married at 18. My mother gave us six months, in 1972. We like to say we’ve only stayed together to annoy her. grin Four children, three married, no divorces, five GC.

None of our siblings is divorced. No nieces or nephews are divorced, (although one should be, they should get rid of that waste of space angry). One niece with a long-standing partner, the father of her child. Second niece same, with father of her two children. Third niece had one child with first partner then a series of partners. Not in a relationship now.

Very few of our friends are divorced, I could count them on one hand.

NannyJan53 Wed 12-Feb-20 11:36:54

Married my first love in 1975, we were both almost 22.

Sadly, after 9 years and 2 children, he came out as gay and left.
I often wonder if we would still be together if he hadn't been gay. The rare occasions I do see him now, I realise we are both so different people.

Two years later I re-married. Big mistake on my part! I stuck it out, hoping to make it work, but we divorced after 15 years.

I now have a lovely partner, kind, thoughtful and gentle. We met when I was 59 and he was 61, so it is never too late to find the right one. Have been together 8 years in May, and living together almost 7 years.

vampirequeen Wed 12-Feb-20 11:26:16

Escaped after 25 years. Divorced and was never going to get married again. Then met DH. It was love at first sight. The only way I can describe it is that we'd always known each other but were just waiting to meet again.

Apricity Wed 12-Feb-20 10:37:07

There are many pathways to happiness and often we outgrow our early loves. Life is always about change. In my 70th year I have been happily 'living in sin' for nearly 15 years with a lovely, gentle man. We both have past relationships and prior lives and we respect that. We met online, are great friends and loving and involved parents and grandparents of six children, their assorted partners and eleven grandchildren. Life is good.

mumofmadboys Wed 12-Feb-20 08:49:37

Married when I was 23 and DH was 26. Celebrate 40 years next year. 5 children. Wouldn't swop him for anything!

starshine Wed 12-Feb-20 08:28:12

We have been together for 48 years this year - I was 15 when I set my sights on, and won, him!

morethan2 Wed 12-Feb-20 08:23:10

45 years for us. I don’t think I could cope without him. He makes me laugh, he drives me mad, he’s my unflinching support through thick and thin. He’s a kind, caring, loving annoying man. He is a wonderful dad. He’s a keeper.

Marydoll Wed 12-Feb-20 07:35:12

I had a two boyfriends before DH, one wanted to marry me, but I realised I didn't love him enough to marry him, so ended the relationship. That was very difficult, as he was devestated and I felt so guilty, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

The first time I saw DH, I knew he was the one. We were engaged after three months, (45 years ago tomorrow), married a year later, when I was 22 and still together 45 years later.

He drives me mad at times, but I wouldn't change him for anything. He has been there for me, supporting me through many health scares, never complains about the limitations on what we can now do together and we still enjoy each other's company, sharing the same values and quirky humour.

Bellasnana Wed 12-Feb-20 07:13:58

I’d had several boyfriends but wouldn’t say I loved any of them.

DH had been married before, was eleven years my senior, and the love of my life. We were very happily married for 35 years, produced four lovely kids, and were planning lots more adventures together in retirement. Sadly, fate had other plans and he died of cancer almost five years ago.

There is no way I could or would want another man. I’ve had the best and consider myself very fortunate. Oh how I miss him, though.

Grammaretto Wed 12-Feb-20 06:51:10

Married at 20, not first love. 51 years so far and still having fun. 4 DC all married. Remarkable In-laws just celebrated 75years married.
One or 2 divorces in extended family but we feel very lucky.
I loved your post granny23 sunshine

pollyperkins Tue 11-Feb-20 23:07:13

Been married for 50 years and nearly all of our friends have also remained married for a similar length of time. I made a lucky choice I guess - I had no idea what I was doing at 25!

Bellanonna Tue 11-Feb-20 23:02:13

Granny23 I loved the second para of your post!

MissAdventure Tue 11-Feb-20 22:58:14

smile
I love these threads.

AllotmentLil Tue 11-Feb-20 22:09:01

My story is very nearly the same as Urmstongran’s - we're the same age and have been married for the same length of time. I can’t really believe it! Only difference is no platform shoes - he’s already a foot taller than me! ?
We’ve had ups and downs but I don’t think anybody else on the planet could have put up with me. We talk all the time and I often feel sorry for couples in restaurants who seem to have nothing to say to each other ...

Washerwoman Tue 11-Feb-20 22:01:07

Not my first love but definitely my best.He was right under my nose in a group of friends whilst I was dating someone else for several years then I suddenly realised just how kind and lovely,and attractive he was.Fortunately he had been waiting for me. 38 years later and no regrets.Our closet ,oldest friends are all still married but several others have divorced over the years.

M0nica Tue 11-Feb-20 21:58:30

Witzend, we met at 18. It just took another six years of playing the field to realise that we were best together!

We've been married 52 years next Monday. We have our moments but we are well suited, both awkward **, so we deserve each othersmile