Rewarding GC's good work - what should I do or say now?

Having just been really ill recently and, at times, not sure I was going to survive I can say that we have to grab each and every day and make the most of it. Life is short and very precarious. Let them spend their money as they wish and hopefully it will bring much pleasure at this very difficult time.

Well, it's nice to see you, then, wondergran

We like to reward our grandchildren for good school reports with a small gift. They do know however that this depends on their effort grades rather than their attainment. This way they can all be rewarded whatever their level of ability. We are proud of them for trying hard.

Franbern. What on earth is the winter festival, why don’t you just say Christmas!!

I am not sure what you mean when you say ‘just resolve not to do this again’ do you mean that you won’t give your Grandchild any more money, that would be mean and upsetting for the Grandchild. Don’t say anything, they have enough to contend with without you laying down the law.

So sorry to hear about your son-in-law. I hope the prognosis is not as bad as you think. In any case, let them spend their money as they wish, especially at this horrible time.
You are a good person and I wish you and your family all the best

My son and his wife had been struggling financially for quite a while. They received a small legacy. The first thing they did was to buy a new bed, which they badly needed, but they also bought the fancy headboard, wardrobes and chests too. I was surprised at them frittering money away instead of saving it for a rainy day. After some thought, I realised that money had been tight for so long that they just had to have a little splurge, now that they had some to spare. It did them good to go slightly mad, for once, and the rest of the money is sitting safely in the bank.
When times are hard I think that it does us good to treat ourselves to something frivolous, just to cheer ourselves up. Just carry on with the small gifts, and say nothing about the family’s purchases.

I have always found that it is better not to talk about money, and never to disclose (or ask) how much things cost, as it tends to invite judgement. I would never have told my mum that I was buying bedroom furniture, for instance, as I wouldn't have seen it as her business (and I know she would have judged me); and similarly, I wouldn't expect my children to tell me how much they spend on things.

Sometimes they do, however, as they want to share their pleasure in what they have bought, but I wouldn't dream of judging them on their priorities, or assuming that they should be the same as mine.

It has happened to me twice recently that gifts I gave were put up for sale on Facebook (where I could not fail to see them). Of curse it hurt - but then, I said … when you give something, it must have no strings attached. How, otherwise, could we get so many bargains from charity shops? Your relatives are probably realising that their bucket list is still there, but now they have a shorter time for it to be run through. This is their way of coping - do not begrudge this to them, please.

I wonder Cassandra if you are focussing on what the money is spent on because you are so sad/ worried by the bigger picture. As you can't do anything about your SIL's health, you are thinking about something 'more controllable'. Hope things work out Ok for your SIL and he covers/ improves

How lovely you send your gc a letter. I am sure that your gc appreciates the money you send and buying something takes their mibd off their mother being ill for a while. As a child I always spent my money quickly but now I am very sensible. Being sensible with money vomes with sge and experienced.