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(56 Posts)
Audi10 Sun 27-Mar-22 18:35:28

I’m trying to think of the best way to word this, firstly let me say I’m very appreciative of my friends and family, love them to bits, but I’m getting to the point of please don’t buy me any more bits and pieces! I’m actually de cluttering and getting on pretty well I think, so what’s the problem you might say? Despite me telling telling my friends family please don’t waste your money on me they do! Give to such and such charity, etc etc, it falls on deaf ears I’m afraid! I do end up keeping the things they’ve bought me as I just can’t give it away! Anyone else have this happen! There’s only so many things you can have despite living in a large home

effalump Sun 03-Apr-22 11:23:07

Audi10 Me too, I tell people, even at Christmas, not to buy me anything but time, and time again, they quite often buy me booze (i gave up drinking alcohol over 15 years ago), or chocolates (even when I tell them I'm trying to lose weight) so if I know they will buy me something, I tell them a voucher will do, either Amazon, Jacksons Art or some other High Street voucher.

Goodfood Wed 30-Mar-22 11:20:04

This post comes perfectly as we decide what to get my 90 year old aunt. I will be taking her for afternoon tea. My brother and sil buying her plants for her window. My mum got her biscuits and chocolates. I had forewarned them all that she does not need nik naks

Shropshirelass Wed 30-Mar-22 08:49:08

Present giving has got out of hand. We now give a small bunch of flowers or invite round for a cuppa and a piece of home made cake. Time given is the best gift and enjoyable. Memories can’t be given away.

annodomini Tue 29-Mar-22 19:35:54

I'm far too old to want or need 'things'. It's nice to receive flowers and chocolates, but better that my nearest and dearest give donations to causes important to me - and themselves.

Treetops05 Tue 29-Mar-22 18:42:06

My sister told us a few years ago she would prefer gifts she could either use or eat. Makes shopping much easier.

Saggi Tue 29-Mar-22 09:33:02

That’s ‘loft’ clear out . Although sometimes I do wish I had a lift…. It would help with de-cluttering!!!!

Saggi Tue 29-Mar-22 09:31:37

My kids have nailed my gifts….. they ask!!!

Garden stuff/vouchers
Books/ book vouchers

Long cardigans( I’m addicted)but will send photos of a few and I tick the one I like.

They both know my ‘colours’ ( no pastels).. flowers always acceptable.

Amazon voucher ALWAYS useful!

NO NICK-NACKS!! NO ORNAMENTS!! NO NOTHING THAT NEEDS DUSTING!!

Even my 19 and 14 year old grandkids have got the message. You only have to SAY. Also they know I’m de-cluttering as I’m moving towards ‘end of days’…. They both approve as don’t want to be landed with lift/house/garage clear out when it comes!

sazz1 Tue 29-Mar-22 00:28:30

I always ask for flowers or chocolates or tickets to cinema/show. Or to go out for afternoon tea. Don't have many ornaments any more just a pretty jug from Amsterdam, a clock from France, a rose bowl from when I worked in Romford,
some pictures from Vietnam etc things from my work travels.
Xmas I write a list. Last year was flowers chocolates a Gino cook book, karcher vac electric toothbrush. All things I really wanted and had them all.
Donate unwanted ornaments and candles etc to charity shops OP. They will sell them and make money to help others.

GoldenAge Mon 28-Mar-22 20:29:21

Audi10 - For my 60th when I had a large party I asked for all those who wanted to buy a gift to look through the UNICEF catalogue and buy something called Plumpy Nut which was a food that could be given to starving children without bloating them. The sachets started at £5. I had the best birthday ever because people actually listened and I felt I'd made a great and worthwhile donation. For my 70th I did the same and few people actually listened so the local hospice received a box of gifts for its charity shops. The last thing I want at my age is more clutter for somebody else to go through when I'm dead.

Rosina Mon 28-Mar-22 18:45:47

Along with several other couples we gave up gifts some years ago - we go out for a meal together that covers all our birthdays. Everyone enjoys it, and we haven't got to find a home for yet another ornament that we don't want.

Dianehillbilly1957 Mon 28-Mar-22 18:42:30

I'm telling my family instead of gifts I don't need, just treat me to lunch sometime, far more enjoyable. I'm trying also to only gift them what they need and not what they DON'T need. I really need to get rid of stuff, but it's hard to do and my other half is always bringing more c**p home!!!!!

V3ra Mon 28-Mar-22 18:37:43

My family know, because I've told them often enough, I like something to drink, or something to eat, or some nice handcream, but nothing that gathers dust.
One son bought me some Liz Earle handcream for Christmas. He said he'd put a call out on Twitter for advice as to a good make and that was the one that was recommended! That made me laugh ?

nandad Mon 28-Mar-22 18:08:00

My son takes me shopping for my present. He tells me how much I can spend and then we spend time together choosing it. This is food or toiletries for a homeless shelter which we deliver together. I love my present, I get time with my son, it fills my criteria of not having money spent on me and I don’t have to find anywhere to put it.

Alioop Mon 28-Mar-22 17:50:39

My friend and I buy a ticket for a show or concert. On the night we go for a meal before it and have a lovely time.
I'm getting my Xmas present 2021 from her on Sunday as we are going to see Giovanni from Strictly. Now that's better than a pair of pyjamas grin

queenofsaanich69 Mon 28-Mar-22 17:06:08

Some years ago I suggested to my two best friends we only gave gifts that can be eaten,burn or die ———we have had fun with this idea for 20 years and since Covid decided no gifts.
But still get gifts from the kids but recently they have made up beautiful food baskets,with all the stuff they know we like and alcohol ! I have heard some people get vouchers for taxis the children have given us many donations to good causes over the years.

aonk Mon 28-Mar-22 15:54:25

When I receive gifts I always feel fortunate but, as others have said, I’d prefer time spent together. My DD1 asked us to dinner yesterday and that was so special. While I was out DS dropped off a plant, biscuits and a card. All lovely but when I called to thank him and said that I had been to DDs he said that he didn’t have the time to go things like that.

SillyNanny321 Mon 28-Mar-22 15:38:04

As it is only my DS & Family who buy me gifts now I put anything I may like on Amazon Wish List! He then decides what to get, I get something I want & make sure not too much money is spent. Good result all round!

Unigran4 Mon 28-Mar-22 15:37:47

I have stated consumables only. Pickles, garden tokens, (no sweets or chocs - diabetic), plants, lunch out, theatre trip etc. I don't mind the odd reed diffuser because I use them in my downstairs cloakroom. This all works for me and makes it easy for my girls.

DeeJaysMum Mon 28-Mar-22 15:26:56

I've just had this with my son.
It was my birthday last week and then we had mother's day yesterday. He asked me a couple of weeks ago whether there was anything I wanted and I said that right now, no, nothing, which between us usually means wait until there is something in a few months or something but this fell on dead ears this week.
I received a box of chocolates for each of the two events, they were chocolates that I like from Hotel Chocolat BUT I've not eaten chocolate at all in the past 3 years.
I graciously accepted them but I know the cash could have been used for something far more productive later in the year when it's needed. I'm sitting here wondering whether I can take them back to a shop and tell them I don't eat chocolate and can I have the money back that I can then put aside until when there's something I need. My son doesn't live locally so he would never know if I was able to do this.

nipsmum Mon 28-Mar-22 15:14:10

Sorry if some people don't like to be given gifts. I was always taught to accept gifts gracefully, no matter how useless they are. Thank you and a smile are the least people can give if someone is being kind and thoughtful.

timetogo2016 Mon 28-Mar-22 14:38:20

Ps ,and maybe a spelling book TUT.

timetogo2016 Mon 28-Mar-22 14:37:38

Thankfully my famiy ask me what i would like,my relpy is no n bits n bob`s.
Surprise me,and they do.

magshard20 Mon 28-Mar-22 14:26:02

During the pandemic and lockdowns, I bought my brother and his wife (who are both a bit awkward to buy for) Amazon vouchers, they were thrilled as they use their Amazon account to "buy" e-books, to read on their holiday's or (in the pandemic) any down time they had. I now know that if I buy them Amazon vouchers they will be put to good use.

Gardner Mon 28-Mar-22 14:07:57

I gently suggested to my offspring a couple of years ago that we didn’t need anymore
‘stuff’.
If we can’t read it,eat it ,plant it or drink it ,Please don’t waste your money.
Worked so far !

Davida1968 Mon 28-Mar-22 12:40:40

GrandtanteJD65 - you have said exactly what I was thinking! I've been know to take unwanted gifts to charity shops in another part of the country so that the givers can't know....