Where are you from? Is it an insult?

I certainly wouldn’t ask anyone who sounds native-born.
I doubt that Lady Susan was prompted by racism, but IMO it was highly insensitive, or perhaps crass would be a better word.

We have more than once asked cab drivers whose accents made it obvious that they were born and brought up elsewhere else - I don’t think anyone has taken it amiss.

volver

Excuse me for saying this GrannyLaine, but did your mother have a voluntary position in the Royal Household that included making people feel at their ease and representing how Britian acts?

No?

Then not quite the same, is it.

I don't believe that I implied it was.

I was simply reflecting on the situation with a little compassion for the human beings involved in both sides of the story.

Our corner of the U.K. is extremely culturally diverse, like Witzend has posted we often ask cab drivers where they are from when it’s obvious they are not U.K. born. This has led to really interesting and educational conversations.

I do not think Lady Hussey had a racist agenda when asking Ms.Fulani where she came from, clumsy or crass definitely.

I live in the same corner of the UK and you wouldn't ask me where I'm from.

Excellent Guardian article, thank you.

Esspee

I have been subjected to racism and am aware of the subtleties where you can be left in doubt as to the intentions of the perpetrator.
I would have assumed in this case that the questions were a clumsy attempt to find some sort of common ground along the lines of “I thought that was a Nigerian costume, we visited there in 2015 and so enjoyed touring your amazing country.”

Incidentally wasn’t the offended lady last in the limelight for saying that Meghan had been subjected to domestic abuse within the royal family?
She does seem to pick battles that raise her own profile doesn’t she. If I felt I had been subject to racist abuse I would have reported it to the organisers of the event. Not gone directly to the media.

I read in th Times that she said there was nobody to report it to at the time. She clearly couldn’t report it to Camilla.

growstuff

I live in the same corner of the UK and you wouldn't ask me where I'm from.

You do not live in the area I do, we are at different ends of the County growstuff

Perhaps I am just more of a people person, perhaps our friendship group is more diverse, who knows?

When giving blood yesterday I asked the lovely nurse where she was from and we had a lovely chat. She was Eastern European.

I initially thought the Royal Aide was clumsily asking, what are your roots.

Only if you are determined to make it so.

Lucca she was able to report it to the press, I expect the same diligence would have found an event organiser to report to.

We all get asked at times where we are from,I got asked as soon as I came to this village if I was a Marra or an Assa Marra,
only 40 miles away but completely different accent. I answered and laughed. But that is a British regional thing.
I did take offence when someone asked me if I was a left-footer when I would not join the church, too personal and I felt insulted for the people who are.
My sername sounds Jewish and I often get asked if I am and I am so used to it that I just say no and leave it.
But I can see it from the ladies' point of view, having a friend who was Cape Coloured living in England some people questioned her very pointedly like SH seems to have. If you ask someone and they give you a quick answer and do not elaborate you should in her position realise they do not want to embellish. Though she could have helped if she had wanted to by filling in some of the details of her parents' heritage IF she felt she wanted to.
Perhaps an old lady out of her comfort zone and I definitely would have objected to her moving my hair without permission to read my name label.
I am also interested in Genealogy and couldn't wait to find out why my great grandfather's brother-in-law had a very dark complexion after a photo turned up and very tight curly hair, also after having DNA tests some distant cousins had Mali DNA. That was a family matter though, this incident took place in a very public gathering,I think the situation and the accents would have put me on my guard to start with and perhaps made me a bit prickly.SH after all these years should after all these years have the skills to put anyone at their ease and read their responses. Like the Lords and Profs I have had to sit next to at dinners
Mistakes all round I would say.

I thought another woman reported it, not the lady who was questioned about her nationality because she was black.

I think the problem lies in Lady Hussey's attitude, rather than what she said. She may have been genuinely interested in knowing where the woman's origins lay. Touching a stranger's hair was completely inappropriate and a breach of protocol, surely.
It should be pointed out that the 'upper classes' have a condescending attitude to all those beneath them, no matter what the colour of their skin. I was once asked what sort of house I lived in. As soon as I said, 'It's a council house'...I was dismissed as not worthy of any further attention. I'm white and 100% British, so it was a class thing, nothing to do with race.

Strange, I would have answered I live in a semi or a flat or whatever. Saying a Council house rather directs the conversation in my view and sounds confrontational. I would probably avoid you as you sound up for an argument.

The touching of the hair as a no-no reminds me of Michelle Obama putting her arm round the Queen. A mistake in royal culture but a forgivable act.

Where are you from? Is it an insult?

It is if is followed up with a remark like "I hate the English" as some English people living in Wales have been subjected to.

I wonder why this woman changed her name from Marlene Headley to the name she uses now. Why would you go to an event dressed as colourfully as she did and not expect a question about her ancestry. It couldn’t possible be a set up job could it. Friend of Meghan and her photographer. Surely not…..coincidence?

she can wear what she wants

As you may know I play golf and gold ladies are very very curious so when you play with a new partner they want to know all about you. I don't mind this generally even though they start with the 'where are you from' question and since moving north I have had a few 'Oh's' read what you like into that. Mainly what they are trying to find out is are you like them, where can they put you, what label can they stick on. I'm used to it now but it does feel uncomfortable at times. I keep it general and golf focused ' have you played here long?' When you get to know people they tell you what they want you to know. Such a minefield now I'm treading carefully.

This incident was at an international event. There were people from all over the world present. Strikes me that this was not an unreasonable question to someone who was attending. Blown out of all proportion. Plus I do think that it would be interesting to the other side of this story.

This older woman is hang-on from the earlier days of the Queen.
I think she should have retired when the Queen died. I suppose they are allowed to continue as a sort-of continuity measure?

I can imagine a number of my local National Trust volunteers asking these questions at a function to be honest - and they will have had diversity training I'm certain.

I would have been extremely cross if someone unknown to me started moving my hair!

I think it can be, it depends on the context.

I have two black friends both of whom I've known for years. One, originally from Jamaica, born there, but came to England as a baby, she will talk about her heritage and origins quite often, particularly in the context of DNA, she has often pointed out to me that her given surname came from whoever owned her ancestors and she can only get back so far with her family history which she is very into, we both are, I've had my DNA analysed and my ancestors also came from a number of places in Europe. . For her though it is entirely different having antecedents born into slavery but now thanks to DNA she at least knows which part of Africa her origins lie. My other friend, came as a baby from Sierra Leone, her parents came to England as students ,left her with a white foster family when they went back to Sierra Leone, then came back for her when she was around eleven years old, she kicked up merry hell for one thing she didn't know them and allegedly refused to go back with them. The upshot of that was they left her with her white foster parents who were later to adopt her. Probably wouldn't be allowed now but she is well into her 60s and things were different when she was growing up. We learnt all this from her late husband who was one of my husband's close friends. It's a subject she never brings up, I don't think she wants to talk about it, so we wouldn't either, she refers to Essex as where she's from and I think she'd be very affronted if she was intrusively cross questioned in the Susan Hussy manner, who seemed devoid of any tact or emotional intelligence. It's not that difficult to gauge if people are reticent to talk about what may be a sensitive subject.

Daisymae

This incident was at an international event. There were people from all over the world present. Strikes me that this was not an unreasonable question to someone who was attending. Blown out of all proportion. Plus I do think that it would be interesting to the other side of this story.

Of course the hosting at events is done by volunteers like Mrs Hussey, it may be better to employ trained professionals.
That of course would cost a lot of money, these events have got to be hosted.

JaneJudge

she can wear what she wants

And nobody said she couldn’t did they.. if I turn up to a function wearing a kilt and sporran people might assume I’m from Scotland. They’d be racist asking me I guess.