OCD in DGC

Thank you all for your contributions-most helpful. There seems to be a balance between letting this phase just pass without comment and making it into a big issue but also being aware that true OCD exists as stated here and wanting to "nip things in the bud" if necessary/possible.
She does have a favourite-good old Eeyore. I suggested that DD get a spare and so DGC now has three. One always goes to nursery with her but only for when she has a sleep. She talks quite happily about clean Eeyore and dirty Eeyore as she sucks an ear and she happily lets them go into the wash. They mercifully wash and dry very quickly. He is the solution to any problem? Her Mummy had a sucky cloth-we ended up cutting it into four so we always had a spare. She doesn't need it now! Lol!

DGD has one of those little teddies with tiny soft blanket attached to them; they had to buy two in case one got left behind somewhere as she won't go to sleep without it even though she is 4.

Yes, hopefully it's a passing phase.I successfully talked our son ( when he was eight) out of OCD behaviour, hand washing, and also did the same for autistic DGS a year ago.It all comes from anxiety.

For a long time we referred to GS2 as OCD Baby because everything always had to be just so and things had to be put in their proper place the minute you finished with them, but now he's three it seems to have mostly disappeared - except for his refusal to wear a coat until it gets to about -10 degrees!

Thankyou Crafting and yes I love him to bits x

DD wanted to wear a mac to bed (and wellies - clean!) that her cousin had passed down to her when she was 2. We used to try to take them off when she was fast asleep in case she got too hot. Every time DGD2 comes she strips the dollies and Sindies of all their clothes, refuses to let them wear any and is then satisfied. I usually dress them all again when she has gone home because I can't bear to see them naked .

Don't worry, it's probably just a comfort thing and she needs comfort at the moment with the upheaval her little life. She probably feels happy in the bedroom she has got already but she will settle into the new one quickly as long as all her things are around her.

My son when a child, used to sing himself to sleep in bed at night (he doesn't now), my other son would never wear red (now his favorite colour) my DGD would not wear trousers (she does now) would wear only pink (it's now purple and black) . Your little one is only 2 ½ and at that age they often have rituals which get forgotten over time.

F77Ms, I too have mild OCD (not as bad as your son). Please don't beat yourself up over it, it sounds as though you did all you could for him. Talking about it doesn't mean you could have resolved it. It is what it is. It's a bit like phobias. People get them for some reason and in some cases you can't "fix it". People have all sorts of problems, some OCD some claustrophobia, some anxiety etc. None of us are perfect in health and mental wellbeing, I believe we all have some difficulties and your sons is OCD ...but at least he has a mum who loves him and cares.

Mumof madboys .. I do beat myself up you are right . When I think back it was so obvious that something was not right but with 3 others and an unsupportive Husband I just thought it would pass and that he was just a `bit different` .
He has seen lots of different Docs over the years , Psychologist, Psychiatrist and therapist but the most helpful was his wonderful GP who has since retired . He finds it very difficult to make relationships with new people so is not seeing anyone at present but takes medication and has his own strategies to help him cope . It is a horrible illness and I wouldn`t wish it on anyone . Thanks for your comment x

I'm another one who doesn't see this as unusual or even a sign of any unusual anxiety. IME (in my experience), it's very common among LOs (little ones) to want to organize their world with a few rituals and so forth. This is probably temporary and will pass though it may give way to some other (equally temporary) ritual down the road. I wouldn't worry about it. And I definitely wouldn't label it OCD at this early date!

I used to wonder about one of my GSs, who, at the age of 2, used to line up all his 'Thomas' set of engines in order of size. However, it turned out to be 'just a phase', though, now 10, he is very artistic and has a good eye for design.

Our wee one is the same at 2 and a quarter. Everything has to be as she wants it and if we move anything she puts it right back. Apparently her previously favourite dolls are now consigned to the bottom of her bed nowhere near her!
DD says it's absolutely normal at this age, maybe they like the control!

Rituals are very common at this age. DGD comes to us one day a week and has certain rituals: chocolate biscuit (she's only allowed one!), sit on a particular sofa, read a particular book (always the same), have a bottle of of milk (a baby one, in spite of the fact that she is 3 - this ritual started after arrival of new baby) - we just go with the flow - it will pass! If it helps her with various transitions like becoming a big sister, being away from Mum, then that is fine by us.

f77ms. I am really sorry your son has developed full blown OCD. Please do not beat yourself up about not talking to him as a child. It probably would not have made any difference. Is he seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Some medications help obsessive thoughts.

Ditto mumofmadboys

I have only skim read responses to the OP, but think I will simply be adding to what has already been said.

I think GD's behaviour is most likely a passing phase. She has a great deal of change coming to her little world with the house move and, as you say, is already managing long days at nursery. She seems to be seeking security through familiarity.

My DD1 went through a phase of wanting the same story again and again and AGAIN. She had a fairly structured routine anyway, but heightened for us by her 'need' to hear the same story - 28 very long pages - EVERY night and for about a month when she was 3. We just went with it and she moved herself on.

If your DD and SIL can set lightly to your GD's needs - as long as they are not detrimental to her - I think they will be a passing phase, not indicative of an OCD nature developing. If these little routines are maintained for her at the time of the move, they may also help her to settle better in the new home.

Sorry, f77ms your post was not there when I was typing mine.

Some very sensible posts on here and I agree that this is a not a problem 'to be addressed'. Drawing attention to it by anxious parents would possibly make it worse or continue for longer.
Just 'go with the flow', don't make a big deal of moving, and it will in all probability disappear when she is settled into her new bedroom.

You are right Mum ofmadboys, . The only thing I will add is that I wish I would have talked to my son when he was starting to show signs of OCD as a child because he is now crippled with it at 34 . I thought it would go away if I ignored it .
Newquay I have a 2.5 year old niece who would be capable of having a conversation about things which bother her , I didn`t mean to be flippant ! I hope it all resolves xx

I think this is perfectly normal in a young child. They are learning to sequence their lives and to fit in. They learn through testing how things work and endless repetition. I also remember my GC putting everything into rows and lines at one stage. Don't worry about OCD until they are much older. With organisation comes understanding of a very complicated and complex world.

It really is best not to ' address this'. Treat it as normal and don't draw any extra attention to it. The behaviour will just fade with time. I am a retired GP.

Thank you all for your reassurances. I agree f77ms it IS a long day, well FOUR long days but that's how it is. She is very happy at nursery, when we're there we take her in late morning and she runs in. When I have broached this in the past with DD she says she doesn't want to be at home all day (she doesn't have to work, hubby said she could stay at home if she wanted to-he could easily support them). She has worked incredibly hard to get where she is professionally in the face of great health hardship so I do understand. If we lived nearby of course it wouldn't be a problem DH and I would cheerfully have her first thing and last thing but geographically that's not possible.
Also I'm not sure how we're supposed to ask a 2 year old what's bothering her?!
I feel reassured with what you've said that, hopefully, once she's settled into their new house I'm sure DD and SIL will address this. They love her dearly and don't just let things go. They have said she has quite enough change in her life at present, as you've said, so best to keep her happy at the mo which they do. Love the playground rituals Mumofmadboys-the things we do for love! Lol!

mumofmadboys you should change your name to thevoiceofreason
And others have said similar.

I would agree that it's not a matter for great concern - my daughter had a "silkie" to fondle (it was a piece of cloth she had become attached to) at bedtime at that age, and I can still remember her positioning it "just so" and freaking out if anyone even touched it. She's fine today!

When my son was four and started school he liked us to say goodbye to him in five different ways! A hug, a cuddle( he had a set definition for each), say goodbye,wave and shake hands!! We felt right twits shaking hands in the playground! But he happily went into class then.After a few months he had a week off with chicken pox.After that he had forgotten all about the rituals. No sign of ritualistic behaviour since and he is now 20.

2 and 3 year olds often develop their own rituals. It is a security thing, I think. I remember putting DGD1 to bed when she was 2 and having to put 10 special blankets over her in a certain order. I had been prepared for this by her mum. As soon as she was asleep, the blankets were removed so that she didn't overheat!

She is now 7 and a lovely happy outgoing child, not OCD at all,although a little bit inclined to be bossy.

It is very common for young children to have rituals. It is best to accept them without any fuss and in most cases they pass. Really no need to worry. It will be hard for her moving house. She is bound to be unsettled by it.