grandparenting classes

PS. Afterthought: we could form a company to franchise classes all over the country world

When I had my first baby {having never even touched a real live one before!} I relied on the fact that I had successfully hand reared two kittens and a baby squirrel and how hard could a human be? When I had my first GS to look after I relied on the fact that both my children had survived my ministrations so this one probably would too.

grumppa the title mentions grandparenting but the actual OP mentions grandmothering

I just didn't think you should be let off the hook left out!

When I was due to become a granny, I joined Lovedbymums group on Fb. Great way to learn the latest thinking on child-rearing after a 30-year gap, and the mums are very kind and helpful in telling me how they want to be treated by their mums and in-laws. So much has changed!

Nanarose, what wise comments. There have been many changes with new information on many aspects of childrearing. I think it shows support to our families. Some comments seem quite sarcastic, and give grandparenting a bad name.

As a Health Visitor, I started grandparenting classes near the end of my career. I qualified as a Health Visitor at age 23 and retired at 63,although I had breaks and lived abroad during that time.

In that period parenting especially in relation to feeding and baby care had changed dramatically. e.g in the 70's we gave babies solids in the first few weeks by the time I retired the guidlines were 6 months.

Parents look to grandparents for support but this support is undermined when advice from grandparents is different from that parents are reading about and learning from professions. This is very stressful to all the family and causes conflict which is nor what a new mums needs.

I did the grandparents class with a Mum who was a breast feeding counsellor. Many grandparents did not breast feed or had a bad experience meaning the level of breast feeding in the UK is one of the lowest in Europe. The skill of "The Womanly art of Breast feeding" was lost due to women having to work during WW2 and the provision of free National dried milk which carried until at least the 70's and then cheap milk was sold in clinics and it was still free to some families. The breast feeding counsellor was able to explain how grandparents could support their daughters who wanted to breast feed their babies.

These classes were not lectures but great fun with lots of input from everyone, and the grandparents found me more believeable as I spanned the 2 generations and could relate to where they were coming from and what had happened in their time and what was happening today.

So grandparenting classes are not about "teaching you to suck eggs" but helping all the family to work together with current information to enjoy parenting and do the best for their children.

Also I think reading the posts in many Forums that we grandparents have to learn to step back and remember we are not the parents. As my daughter once said, "I know you are right Mum, but I would like to learn for myself."

* ajanela * - Maybe we should all be less dismissive of these courses. It sounds to me as though this could be a real help to many - especially in areas such as breastfeeding where I know support and information is still lacking.

I suspect that my son's mother in law would have enjoyed them in the run up to her first grandchild and then maybe then her daughter would have had more encouragement to breastfeed instead of encouragement to give up.

The baby is doing really well but I can't help but think that he has missed out on this.

As someone else said, maternal grandmothers in particular do seem to have a lot of influence in the early days.

I think classes are an American idea.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2089554/Grandparents-classes-bring-speed-modern-baby-rules.html

However a book is useful because making 'mistakes' in family life can be very costly in emotional terms. may lead to fall outs that are difficult to negotiate.

There are a lot of books on how to be a granmother. this one looks quite good. Grandmother as student!!

www.amazon.co.uk/Becoming-Grandmother-Transition-Sheila-Kitzinger/dp/068483538X?tag=gransnetforum-21

My method of Grandparenting is to talk to my DD, ask her questions & follow her lead. After all she was 29 when DGS1 was born & now 36 when DGS2 was born 12 days ago.

I don't interfere, my DD knows she only has to pick up the phone if she needs me. I look at DGS1 who is now 7 & know she's bringing him up well. She'd send me off with a "flea in my ear" if I crossed the line.

So much has changed in the last 36 years, in fact advice has changed in last 7 years as DD has found out. My DD survived being brought up by me so I'm sure she'd trust me with DGS'S, but I would always follow her guidelines. Not willing to pay out for Grandparenting classes

I was 68 when my first grandchild was born so felt very rusty! I would have welcomed a refresher class.

Just respect our children and in-laws and remember the grandchildren are our children's and not our children.

Just love them and mind what we say?
Good luck.

Grannylyn said it all in one short comment.
All you need to do is keep quiet unless asked for advice. Then when my 6 come to stay it's Grandma's house = Grandma's rules! Never had a problem & I get on really well with both DiL.

Quite agree annodomini after all we know best x

Sorry alot of rubbish, just my opinion.I heard in one class they taught a Gran how to fold the pram. My daughter showed me in less than 2 minutes. Think I will spend my money on other things.

Well a lot of things change over the years. Like "back to sleep". No blanekts in cribs (sids risk), no straight water for infants who are under 6 months old, no cereal in bottles, no honey (botulism risk). And countless other things.
I would also be much more comfortable leaving my baby with someone who knows what the current safety recommendations are and who are certified in first aid (most grandparentong classes offer first aid).

DIL1991, Why not tell mum the new ideas? I do not have time for a class.

Because whenever I try to explain the new concepts we usually get the handwave of "yeah yeah I know" and are ignored. And honestly if you don't have time to take a class so you are educated with the new concepts you have no business watching young children. I mean all educators/daycare workers have to take refreshers usually yearly to stay up to date.

The rules changed from tummy to side to back to sleep in the few years when my DC were babies. Back to sleep was the norm 35 years ago.
What is 'straight water'? Or is that something that will suddenly change if we have an extremely hot summer?
Cereal in bottles - who does that?
And I think most grannies know about honey but a reminder would be helpful.

I think most grandparents would ask 'any particular things to remember re feeding, sleeping etc?'

Are all parents certified in first aid? I did not realise it was a requirement of parenting/grandparenting these days.
It is a good idea for everyone to do a First Aid course, I will agree. My knowledge must need updating and it is work-based.

Straight water is just that giving an infant water to drink. Babies who are breastfed or formula fed already get all the water that they need. Giving a young infant water can mess up the electrolytes in their systems and can make babies very sick.

Well, I suppose if grandparents don't have time to take a class so you are educated with the new concepts you have no business watching young children then the parents will simply have to pay for childcare themselves.

May I ask what is with watching young children - I have heard it once or twice recently and it sounds very odd. Watching - surely 'caring for' or 'looking after' is the term used for GP who do this lovingly and willingly?
Watching sounds odd and although I must admit that it is fascinating to watch children play and use their imaginations, most of us are more pro-active with our DGC than merely watching.

Not all parents are first aid trained. But if you care going to be a regular caregiver for a child you should be first aid trained. Hospitals and doctors try to encourage parents to be first aid trained as well

There was a thread on here a while ago from someone who had just found out she was going to be a grandmother and was dissapointed that her friends could not share her excitement.

If these classes had been available she would have been able to meet others who would understand her excitement. I would have liked to go to classes like this and meet others in the same position.

Thanks for the explanation re the water.

I think most of us are aware that too much water can cause problems but I don't remember electrolytes messing up babies' systems or making them very sick during very hot summers. No-one would give a baby more than an ounce of boiled water anyway, certainly not a bottle full.

But if the DP said 'no water' then that is a simple enough rule to follow without going on a course.

Doctors, health visitors change their minds so regularly regarding what is right and wrong for babies don't they.

During hot weather, keep your baby in a cool place, out of the sun. Offer her plenty of drinks. If your baby is only breastfed, she won’t need extra water on a hot day. But if she is formula-fed or on solids, offer her water, too.

You can tell if the baby is dehydrated by gently running your fingers over the fontanelle. It will be depressed.

jalima Cereal in bottles - who does that?

I left DD2 with my DM when she was about 8 months old. When I got back, DD was squawking and DM looking puzzled. DD it seemed, couldn't suck the milk out of her bottle.
On examination I found that instead of mixing DD's milk with formula, DM had tried to make it with Farex which had blocked the teat