How to broach subject/support daughter

My grandson used to babble. Had hearing tests etc. All his motor skills were brilliant etc. He just suddenly started talking...not odd words but sentences...was way past two. Children do things when they want to not when we want.

My grandson was almost 3 before he started talking - now there is no stopping him.

Sounds like he is communicating and socialising fine in non verbal ways, has he had his hearing checked?

I too think you are worrying too much, although of course, I do understand why you are worried.

Right now, don't say anything to your daughter - she is doing what she should, and when your grandson has been seen by the professionals, I hope you will be told what is wrong and that he is just one of the children who are late in cottoning onto the need for speech.

If something like autism is diagnosed and your daughter turns round and says, "Why didn't you warn me?" the kind and truthful answer is, "Because I am not an expert, and I didn't want to worry you."

I am not an expert either, but as the child can fetch his shoes when asked to, I don't think you need to be very concerned.

A year ago, the health visitor scared my foster daughter silly by saying her two year old son should be talking much more.

Turned out there was nothing wrong at all, except that the child didn't like the health visitor! Now a year later, the problem is getting him to stop talking!

I hope you next year at this time have the same "problem".

Hi, I hope all is well and he is just a bit late starting to speak. However, even if it isn't just a delay, why make an issue of it just now? He is being taken care of, is now in 'the system'. If something is wrong it will be hard for all. Let that time come later.

We thought like you with our grandson. But as soon as he started preschool it was if a light was turned on. He blossomed and is now in second grade reading like a champ and his speech is great. Sometimes it is time that helps but it is good that you are concerned. Try not to worry too much

I think that is not unusual with twins Wobbles they can communicate with each other so don't bother with others.

I would relax Flaxseed your grandson is making his wishes known and sounds like he is bright and sociable. The Health Visitor is arranging checks so enjoy time with your grandson, the more relaxed you can be around him the more likely he is to speak.

My first DGD did not enunciate until closer to 3. It was mostly pointing and grunting with parents as well as us grans. However, being around other children (only occasionally) did force her to make an effort to be understood.
It was actually my Mother (retired educator) who very bluntly pointed out that DGD was not speaking as well as she should at 18 months and ought to be tested for learning disabilities. As you might imagine, DD was quite offended and I must admit that I had sharp words for her myself!
You see DGD had exceptional motor skills and was much further along walking, running, and tumbling than others her age. She also seemed to understand much of what was involved in her daily routines but would mostly just look at us when items were pointed out. At bedtime she constantly tried to distract parents from reading as she’d much rather play. Also, she didn’t sleep much which was quite wearing on DD & SiL.
Sorry to ramble on, but the bottom line is that she preferred action to talk. DGD began speaking quite clearly around 3 & hasn’t shut up since. At 13 she’s top of her class & snatches up most of the awards at end of year. And she STILL prefers her sports!
Your DGS seems to be well adjusted except for his speech as well. He’s happy and obviously well loved. Speech therapy is an excellent idea and had we all not been so stubborn, perhaps DGD would have spoken earlier.
However, in hindsight, I am convinced that those stares from DGD were simply concern that all of her “grownups” were idiots for constantly pointing out balls, birds, & buns when she wanted to catch, carol, & consume!

I think you are doing everything as you should.

You are supporting your daughter while giving her space to figure things out on her own. She’s obviously very involved in his care and on top of getting him evaluated. It’s possible she does suspect something is off and doesn’t want to talk about it yet.

If things progress as you suspect and he is diagnosed, and she does ask, I would be very honest in that you felt she had it all under control, and you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself while she was doing All she could to get him help

I have read that the speech part of the brain and the mobility part develope one after the other in a child. So the child's mobility skills may develop before the speech skills or vice versa. I had to research it because we had the same worry in our family. All's well now.

Wow! Thank you everyone!
I wanted to reply to you all individually but I have had so many posts!!
I’ll try to incorporate some of your views and answer any questions

DGS has had a hearing test which was fine.
He doesn’t attend nursery. DD works part time and care is shared between myself and her DP.
She does however take him to Sensory play which they both enjoy. She also socialises with friends who have slightly older boys at least once/twice a week.

He does love Baby Shark and ‘asks’ for it by doing the hand movement. He doesn’t however copy any other movement other the one handed ‘baby’ shark one
He will anticipate the scream at the end of ‘row row your boat’ and screams at the appropriate time.
There doesn’t appear to be any issue with eye contact, but he doesn’t always respond to his name.

I had him for a couple of hours earlier and ensured we had fun.
Positives
He took pieces out of a farm wooden board and held them up for me to say the sounds (I struggled with barn door lol!)
He ‘fed the baby’ (doll) when I encouraged him too and kissed her after I did.
When I cuddled the ‘baby’ he came and put his head in my lap as if to say ‘that’s my nanny not yours!’

He built some bricks then howled with laughter when he then knocked them down and I covered my face saying ‘oh no!’
He did make a kind of roaring sound when I showed him a lion in a book.
He pointed at the bubble machine when he wanted it on.

Not so positives

No response to ‘where’s your car?’
‘Where’s your head’
Only occasionally responded to me calling his name
Didn’t respond to ‘where’s mummy?’
Randomly pointed to things in a photo picture book for me to say what they were but couldn’t point to anything I said I.e banana, cat, dog

We do question him i.e ‘Up?’ When getting him out of his high chair/car seat/buggy
This blueberry or the banana? etc

Anyway, after taking your advice after a brief skim through of earliest messages before he arrived, I totally enjoyed him and carried on doing things despite him not always understanding or responding.
He does make me laugh.

I am really, really going to try not to worry and thanks for the advice about what to say if he is diagnosed with anything if DD ever questions me.

nanaxs4

His Dad is a keen footballer/sportsman and he loves a ball, a slide and the baby gym!

penelope
Interesting! Thank you

Each child develops at a different pace. Please don't worry ......I have an 18month old granddaughter, who answers 'yes ' to everything ?- no other vocabulary....

Today 15:04 Edithb

My grandson is two on Monday and doesn’t say anything except yeah to everything. I have spent hours watching videos about autistic toddlers on YouTube and have worried myself sick, all without saying a word to my daughter. He can communicate his needs however, and spends a lot of time working things out in his head. His big brother didn’t speak until three, then was fluent overnight and has just passed an entrance exam for a ninety percent scholarship to a grammar school, so I try to postpone the worrying for the time being. Everyone says that boys are slow talkers and it seems to be very common. His dad tends to put a dummy in his mouth, but we take it out by giving him a biscuit then hiding the dummy. He makes a lot more sounds then! Try to think ahead, maybe do something like writing your concerns in a diary for six months hence? I often find that my worries have come to nothing when I do that.

I’m glad you had a lovely visit flaxseed

It was interesting to read a post about a child who preferred action to speech. Bit the same as my GD who did speak until later. She could ride a unicycle at 4, climbed everything and ran everywhere. She was excellent at school but much preferred sports.

EdithB without the internet I wouldn’t be half as worried

I do the same -watch videos, read forums etc etc. Usually at about 3 a.m when I wake up worrying

I do need to stop and just enjoy him. In the past I have stopped doing activities with him if he doesn’t seem to ‘get it’ but today I carried on regardless

EdithB without the internet I wouldn’t be half as worried

I do the same -watch videos, read forums etc etc. Usually at about 3 a.m when I wake up worrying

I do need to stop and just enjoy him. In the past I have stopped doing activities with him if he doesn’t seem to ‘get it’ but today I carried on regardless

Didn’t mean to send that twice

I was worried with my youngest as she wouldn’t talk, have one DD who has autism and the doctor thought she probably had it as well.
The SALT just said she has a brother and two sisters, she thinks why should I talk when everybody knows what I want anyway. Stopped doing everything for her and getting stuff when she was just pointing at things and it wasn’t long until the odd words were coming out.
She is 16 now and taking her GCSES and her predicted grades are wonderful so wouldn’t worry too much and if it is autism it’s not the end of the world, still your lovely grandson. My daughter with it is at university, still lives at home and she gets lots of one to one support but doing great

Flaxseed I empathise with you. I have a DGS who I felt exactly the same about at the age your DGS is now. I did mention it to my DD who had expressed concerns herself. (My SIL didn't speak to me for a week.) Concerns over DGSs language were like yours. I'd say, " Hello H" and he would reply, "Hello H". His speech was slow to develop and he was behind with all his developmental milestones, sitting, crawling, walking etc. He was diagnosed as Autistic around the age of 3 ( one soon forgets) and he us 9 now. Do try and mention it to your DD as, hopefully it's just developmental delay, (my DGS has that as well) but if it is Autism a diagnosis helps get the best support. I am fairly new to GN and don't know how to post to an individual, but if you do I would be happy to give more details of things we have tried, not always with major success, but DGS is a delightful boy who I love dearly and whose company I enjoy. Whatever the outcome I am sure you will be the same. I would like to hear how you get on and wish you all the best.

Dillyduck Please can I ask how old is is your son now? With our grandson we are about to fight the Local Authority in an attempt to get him into appropriate specialist provision as the specialist setting he is in currently is not educating him. I sympathise with your situation as we are now going through a similar time. Hope it was successfully resolved for you and him and he is thriving and reaching his full potential.

madmum It’s lovely to hear that your daughter is at uni and getting support.

Qwerty
DGS other milestones that you mention have all been within the ‘normal’ range.
I have decided not to mention autism to DD as I suspect the SaLT support worker will ask DD questions about his understanding and I daresay she will then start to realise this is more than speech alone, and start thinking about other reasons why he might be delayed.
I’m hoping she doesn’t have to wait too long for the support and am very glad she has started the ball rolling already and ignored the usual ‘wait until his 2nd birthday’
At least I will have had to time to think about how to support her and focus on him just having additional needs rather than being ‘flawed’ in some way.
He’ll always be perfect to us anyway

20 months? Autism? The world has gone mad.