The hardest thing of being a gandma

The hardest part is witnessing what they eat?

You lucky person if that’s the least of your worries.

So many things.

Yes, food is one, but my daughter isn't as bad as your DiL. But still, she didn't like breast feeding so stopped which hurt. Plus I know some days (when I'm working) he doesn't eat a vegetable.

Hearing him get shouted at. Yes he's annoying, but he's little.

Parental lack of consideration about his education.

His absent father.

The mess he lives in (mum is v untidy).

Worry about what ifs, if absent father DOES come back.

Possible accidents, snatching, illness, choking.

Becoming estranged from my daughter and not being allowed to see him.

I too get castigated for being a bad mother, despite my efforts in her education, diet, activities etc. I've come to the conclusion that whatever I did I'd have been wrong.

GagaJo - I am sorry you were hurt when your daughter gave up breastfeeding but it is very painful and difficult for some people. I know I ended up with an abscess and it was awful.

Hardest thing for me - not sure yet. They're very little.

Eh?????

Gagajo why were you hurt when your daughter stopped breastfeeding?

I think we all do our best in our own way. I would have hated to think that what I did 'hurt' my mother or my MIL - I had enough to worry about trying to do the best I could for my own children.

Yes, I made mistakes (who doesn't?) and yes, I have regrets; but not about how my parenting impacted on my own parents. That would be bonkers.

I don’t understand American food, is a ‘leftover Mac’
one of those MacDonald burger things ?

I have never been in a MacDonalds, if they sell more than burgers sorry.

Can't remember the last time I read such a load of old tripe.

The hardest thing of being a grandma is watching what your grandchildren eat? Really?

Some grandparents never actually get to see their grandchildren at all.
Some grandparents have to witness their grandchildren being in the middle of parental conflict and see the pain it causes.
Some grandparents see their grandchildren suffering with physical, mental and anxiety illnesses and witness the pain that causes both grandchild and their parents.
Some grandparents know that "jelly and white bread" isn't a lifestyle choice; its because that's all their parents can afford to feed them on. Heard of foodbanks OP?

and I wouldn't thank you for zucchini bread either

Here FunOma, have this grip.... I think you need it.

Is this spam?!

Annie I think she means macaroni cheese (mac and cheese)

No MissA. Spam isn't allowed. That's junk food. Allegedly.

ooops, thank you Bathsheba . Cold macaroni cheese ?

Best I make no comment here.

A jelly sandwich ? My giddy aunt, it gets worse.

FunOma ignore the weird sisters, there are more than 3, but just as nasty.

Your worry shows your care and love. ❤️

“Weird sisters”?? Because it’s not up to a grandparent what a child eats?

Because there can be larger issues at play?

Just a Macbeth ref

FunOma You began your post with a heck of a lot of justification which I detect is the real crux of the matter and little to do with food.

I have learned that whatever kind of parent you are there will always be something you did "wrong".

Here are some things to remember:

We can't re-write history
-Be kind to yourself, whatever other people perceive, you did what you could at the time.

- Our adult children are in charge of their own lives.

- Our grandchildren are their parents' responsibility, not ours (unless we've been left in charge)

-Whilst poor diet may not give a child the best start, it will grow up and make its own choices. My diet is totally different now from the one on which I was raised.

Stop feeling guilty
I have been guilty of feeding my kids cereal most mornings What?

Unless you threw the kids a bale of hay every morning, why do you feel guilty about cereal? Clearly they grew up healthy enough to have children of their own.

Yesterday is over, move on, tomorrow is another day

What your grandchild eats???? Try having a grandson with severe autism, anxiety, ADHD, and global developmental delay and then just give thanks that today there was no meltdown, no distress for him at all. To witness your grandchild biting and maiming himself because that's his only outlet is distressing beyond belief1

One of my DSs claims to have been traumatised the day I accidentally sent him to school with his brother's lemon curd sandwiches instead of his usual dry bread (white of course!) Battles over food were traumatising for me so I gave them up. It was that or not eating at all! I now have 3 sons 6 foot tall and very healthy. DGC are pretty much the same but have a wider choice of food to refuse. They all eat cereal with milk in the morning though so I expect they will survive.

FunOma,

Why are you so obsessed with food and healthy diet?

It is only 1% of what entails to be a parent

"Jelly sandwich" Jelly is jam in America.

I dare say it is a bit worrying seeing your grandchild being fed sugared doughnuts for breakfast, but it may be all he will eat, and he’ll survive, don’t worry. My DS took cheese or jam sandwiches to school every single day, as he liked very few things. He actually brought them back uneaten most days, as eating would have cut into his football time! He’s now a healthy six footer, worrying about what his own sons do or don’t eat. And that’s his job, not mine.

Welcome to Gransnet if you’re new, FunOma. It’s a funny old place.

I sympathise funoma
For what it's worth. I wince at plenty of the things DGC do and are allowed to do. I also know my place, which is in the wrong.
But I am immensely proud of all my DC and DGC whether they have food fads, too much screen time, or in anyway spoiled or are chastised too much.
We do appreciate we are lucky but happiness isn't a prerogative of the righteous .
I would be very sad if any of our DGC had to suffer parental breakup, illness , bereavement. I worry every day. Today's worry is the littlest has a hospital appointment tomorrow.