Gransnet forums

Health

How do you not feel shame in taking anti-depressants long-term

(138 Posts)
alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 14:36:42

I have been on ADs on and off (mostly on) for the last 25-ish years, after a lifetime problem with anxiety & then later depression after the death of my mother when I was 20. My problem is that, even after all this time and with the ADs working so well for me that I can live a normal life, I still feel a bit ashamed of needing them. From time to time I start to think about coming off them/ reducing my dose ( I am currently on 225mg Venlafaxine), but only manage to unsettle myself with the very thoughts and so changing my mind. I know all the practical arguments about "you'd take medication if you had asthma etc, so it's just the same", and they all make perfect sense, but I just can't seem to truly believe it and accept it without feeling a bit pathetic for needing them. Has anyone else accepted this ok, and can share how you did it? Thanks so much.

MawBroon Sat 13-Jan-18 14:40:54

Why should anybody feel shame at taking a prescription med whether an AD, insulin for diabetes, Warfarin for AF or anything or indeed aneeding a walking stick, hearing aid or glasses!
You say you know that argument but still can’t seem to accept it.
Shame does NOT come into it. flowers

MissAdventure Sat 13-Jan-18 14:47:26

I wonder if someone has made you feel ashamed somewhere along the line, cuppa? Anyway, I have had a couple of periods of taking them, and would do again. I'm sure there are quite a lot of people who need some help now and again, or a lot of the time.

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 14:47:31

Thank you MawBroon, that is exactly my point! I know all that consciou
sly, but subconsciously it's obviously not sinking in, otherwise why would I keep feeling the need to come off them?

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 14:51:00

Thank you MissAdventure - I can't think of anyone that has. The silly thing is, I would say exactly what you have said to a friend, but when it's me, I seem to think I am a bit of a fraud for presenting myself as 'normal' when I see myself as being 'propped up'/helped by medication.

MissAdventure Sat 13-Jan-18 14:56:25

I think most of us are propped up by something, or are different to what we present as, so its a shame you feel as you do. I haven't any answers I'm afraid, hopefully others will be able to help you to more accepting of yourself, because I suppose self acceptance is what it comes down to?

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 14:58:49

Thank you - actually, your first sentence in that last post made sense and helped a little bit!

MissAdventure Sat 13-Jan-18 15:04:24

Oh, I am glad! smile we're none of us perfect. Thickening our hair, putting in our dentures, bandages on our weak joints. Drinks in the evenings, binging on chocolate, taking a variety of pills to keep us ticking along.

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 15:19:10

Haha, you're right! Maybe that's a good way for me to look at it, I'll try that, thank you so much.

Baggs Sat 13-Jan-18 15:22:58

You have an illness, cuppa. You're taking medication for it. That's all there is to it flowers

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 15:24:49

Thank you - I know you're right, I just need to get my head round this once and for all and get on with enjoying my life.

annsixty Sat 13-Jan-18 15:38:30

I have been taking Citalopram for about 5 years now.
It helps me to be able to cope with my H and his illness. I will take them for as long as I need them.
Recently a friend of 50 years and more told me she has taken antid's for many years, she wasn't comfortable telling me as she thinks of as a weakness, I soon put her straight.
Just accept they help you, no shame in that.
The points made that you would take meds for other conditions are very valid ones.

Nonnie Sat 13-Jan-18 15:43:24

How old are you? If you are the same age as many on here please go and talk to your GP about changing to something else. Apparently there are significant reasons why older people should not take Venlaxafine and there are other meds which work just as well.

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 15:52:08

Thank you all. I am 54

Jane10 Sat 13-Jan-18 16:10:13

Have you seen that new book about depression and anxiety? It's been widely reviewed and I was intrigued enough to get it. I think you should all read it if possible. It certainly made me rethink the whole way depression and anxiety are considered and how they are treated. Its called 'Lost Connections' by Johannesburg Hari.

Jane10 Sat 13-Jan-18 16:10:56

Stupid predictive text!! Johann Hari.

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 16:11:18

Oh really? No I haven't heard about it - is there a basic new premise in the approach to anxiety etc in it then?

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 16:11:45

Haha, I didn't even notice the Johannesburg bit!

Grannyknot Sat 13-Jan-18 16:18:03

Jane there was a recent thread about that book ... will find it.

Grannyknot Sat 13-Jan-18 16:19:25

www.gransnet.com/forums/health/1244056-The-nature-of-depressive-illness

Jane10 Sat 13-Jan-18 16:19:27

It's a big hard back book so I'm only a few chapters in but it's not looking good for manufacturers of antidepressants! No evidence for brain biochemistry problems and very dodgy practice re research evidence for efficacy of antidepressants. Lots of solid references. It's not some sort of sensationalist publication. Will read on!

Granny23 Sat 13-Jan-18 16:20:06

When I expressed reluctance to start on SSRIs my GP said bluntly 'If you won't take them for yourself, take them for your family, colleagues and friends. You must be making them miserable too.' I realised that this was probably true and agreed to take them on this basis. When depressed you do not think anything is worth the effort, nor that you deserve some happiness. It is however different when you consider the wellbeing and happiness of your family - it is easier to force yourself to do something when it is for THEM rather than yourself.

alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 16:23:11

Yes, that's certainly true Granny23 - it is allowing me to do things with my children now that I couldn't do when they were younger

Grannyknot Sat 13-Jan-18 16:23:56

Apologies - I meant to respond to the OP. There is no shame in taking anti-depressants.

Jane10 Sat 13-Jan-18 16:25:22

Sorry. I hadn't noticed that other thread.