Being fat and out of control - fat shaming

Wow, I have just got in from work, and I'm really overwhelmed and very touched to see all the kind replies, and some private messages. Thankyou all so much. I never expected such a response, and such kindness. As you can guess I was very down yesterday and this morning, but all your supportive comments have truly helped. I really am very grateful.

In some ways it is good but sad to see there are quite a few others who feel the same. Some names I don't normally see posting, and I do appreciate you posting your personal feelings. It is a shame there isn't somewhere we could all talk freely in confidence about these issues. It is definitely a emotional problem, not just greed. I hope this thread helps some of you too.

I am feeling like I want to have another go at cracking this. I have not had time to read everything properly yet, but I will. Some suggestions stand out as particularly good ideas for me. I'm going to print off some bullet points of things to try. I'm at work again tomorrow but then off, and will have more time to read everything. Really heartfelt thanks to you all.

I once read somewhere that overweight people are just as malnourished as skinny people are. That might seem counter intuitive but (as a fellow overweight person), I finally managed to stop gaining weight. How? Balancing all the food groups, exercising portion control and having a good high protein breakfast. My main meal is at lunchtime and. Evening supper is akin to a snack.

The other two rules are no more food or drink after 8PM, (water only)... OK, if it's a weekend, it's your birthday or there's a party. Maintain reasonable limits on sugar, salt and fats.

Counting calories gives me too much anxiety, so instead I avoid having seconds. A delicious dessert can be enjoyed up to two times a week.

Stay well hydrated, eat lots of fiber and take a course of (high quality) probiotic or yogurt from time to time to balance your gut bacteria. Walking is good exercise too. I don't even adhere strictly to the above, and have not gained any weight for the past ten years. I hope this works for you. Hug ( )

Seacliff I am really overweight. Since retiring early with poor health I am not active enough, but if i do more exercise I pay for it for about 5 days afterwards. My friends still work so I get bored and lonely at home. Medication I have to take has side effort of weight gain. I think I eat when i get bored. I don't eat sugary things but cheese is my weakness. My dh is too kind to me and says he loves me whatever but that does not motivate me to lose weight, The menopause has made it worse so I know how you feel. I am considering hypnosis. Join me in trying to lose 2 lbs each week up until Xmas. x

I’m fat too. I’ve been losing and regaining since I was around 45 and I’m 73 now. Never thought I’d be bothered about weight at this age! I began snacking after stopping smoking. I remember that feeling of something missing after a meal or a drink, biscuits or cake was a substitute, now I seem to be addicted to them instead.

seacliff, if you wish to speak privately with a group you can set up a private chat using Chatzy and invite whoever else is interested in joining in via email- No registration necessary-

Below is a list of body parts that women have insecurities about:

head, hair, neck, face, ears, skin, nose, eyes, lips, chin, teeth, shoulders, back, breasts, waist, hips, stomach, abdomen, buttocks, vagina, anus, arms, wrists, hands, fingers, fingernails, thighs, knees, calves, ankles, feet, toes, body hair, body fluids, pimples, scars, freckles, stretch marks and moles

Having no body issues is rare ..

I agree notanan2 , my weight only went up when I stopped smoking. Seacliff, find a supportive GP and ask for a referral to an eating clinic soon as- you are way too good for a life of being so hard on yourself, you wouldn’t ( hopefully) feel bad about seeking help for any other addiction. Lots of ?

I have no body 'issues' rosecarmel because I don't let any body imperfections blight my life.
It's all about not letting yourself become obsessed with aspects of your body that you can't change, otherwise one can become excessively sensitive.
You need to love yourself, know your worth but carry it lightly.
Not giving a damn what other people think is very freeing.

There's beauty in that approach, Gabriella- I recently met a 100 year old woman who even in her frail condition radiated an absolutely relaxing acceptance of who she is as a woman-

That's a really nice story rosecarmel
100 years old, Wow!
I bet she has/had so many interesting stories to tell.

Isn’t it sad that women have all those hang ups about aspects of their body?
It’s a different mindset to most men, isn’t it, who always think they look ok ( even when they don’t.)

I am overweight too. Size 20 and weighing goodness knows what - last time I stood on the scales in the nurse's room at the surgery (I don't have scales of my own) I weighed 100 kg, whatever that is in English. I don't like seeing myself in photographs if they are 'full body' shots, and avoid mirrors if at all possible. I have one thin as a rake friend who I now avoid because her constant 'have you tried Weight Watchers?' or 'Why don't you join Slimming World' etc is very wearing. If she cannot accept me as I am then I shall keep her at arms length. I have another fat friend who has, earlier this year, had a gastric bypass (or some such) which involved having surgery that has left her with a stomach the size of a walnut and which has made her feel so ill that she has a job to cope and wishes constantly that she hadn't bothered. I have learned to accept me the way I am, a wide woman on a narrow boat, married to a wide man on a narrow boat, and am mostly happy with life as it is. Occasionally, very occasionally these days, I yearn for the slenderness of my youth, but, whilst I am healthy and eat my vegetables, leave off the sweets and puddings, walk the dog daily and do several circuits of a riding arena volunteering weekly (or weakly!) for my local Riding for Disabled group I am happy to be the way I am.

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