Finding a house where community may exist

Azie dont be pushed into making a rushed purchase, one big question has to be how would you cope living at the top of a hill when you can no longer drive ? it's a long way up with shopping ! you both have to like it and feel at home. Do you really need huge rooms and so many of them, i cant tell you from experience that in our case moving from a 4 bed 2 reception 2 bathroom into a 2 bed 2 reception 1 bath was a fantastic move

I think the only choice you have to make is the type of house and the location you want from live in. Personally, I would be looking at proximity to a reasonably sized shopping centre with facilities such as bank, post office etc. I don't think there is too much you can do regarding the type of people you live near. People in villages tend to be more friendlier than those in larger towns but wherever you live, you have no control over the neighbours. Wouldn't it be better to choose the house that you both like first and then to consider joining in some local activity which interests you, in order for make friends?

I think it is important to have the option of alternative transport as you get older, and do explore local clubs and organisations, be certain before you settle for second best. Personally I love our old cottage all on one level and would not contemplate stairs as I get older. SIL lives on a road of bungalows on edge of tourist town and it's full of retired people who all help each other so such places do exist.

How about using a local (senior) move manager? They can help you and DH examine your options and act as a sounding board.

Also, try joining a local group such as WI or NWR to meet like-minded people and find out where they recommend.

Definitely avoid living at the top of a hill. Find somewhere you can carry on living even when you're older, widowed, less mobile etc. Sorry to raise these possibilities but you're in an ideal position to set yourselves up for later life.

Lastly, try your local branch of Gransnet. It's accessible via this site although I took ages to crack how to find it.

I was going to suggest renting as I started to read your post :-)
We looked at over 30 properties in a 10 mile radius before finding the right one. I knew every property for sale on sites like Rightmove. Keep hunting and don't rely on the Estate Agents to find the right one.
We are currently in rented about 20 minutes from our new home as completion is a while off and we had sold.
I too sometimes wondered where everyone was during the daytime, but having got myself a part-time job near the new place, I've met people of all ages.
I plan to investigate groups/clubs etc as I too am the more social one of us.
Keep looking :-)

Villages are not always friendly. If people have been there some time they could have quite tight friendship groups and it can be hard to join in. And lots of villages are commuter dormitories, with nobody about during the week, so choose carefully. Village life is not always like the Archers. I moved a few years ago from a village to a small town because I felt I needed easy access to things like a library, shops, transport and doctors surgery.

Thank you for those replies. I've never heard of a senior move manager Br0adwater! I hadn't really thought about the issue of mobility but I am having knee trouble so probably I should. There is a bus where we are at the moment. I suppose I'm trying to second guess the chances of anywhere in particular having friendly people and although the town in general is surprisingly friendly, I'm a little unnerved by the silent streets around us at the moment (and a bit lonely!).
grannypiper I would happily move to a smaller house. Sigh. DH is the one who wants more room, ideally I think we need a shed in the garden he can retire to!
I've always lived in towns (I come from London originally) and I'm tantalised by the idea of a peaceful village. We did live in a village for 18 months many years ago. It was quite linear and not that friendly so I know nothing is on the cards.
I used to belong to the WI and am going to an exercise class. I know these things take time but I also want to feel settled and I am a bit bothered because the estate I described is labelled as the cheaper end of town though our little 1980s arm is a cul de sac full of better quality houses. I like where we're renting, I just think it doesn't have much character. The reason we're feeling pushed is the landlord has got wind of us thinking about buying and now he's saying he's going to put the house on the market anyway so buy it or leave in February!! We have an oldish cat which makes moving to another rental a bit tricky and my energy levels are not entirely invigorated by the thought either!

We had always lived in cities until recently when we moved to a 'village' of around 6,000 people. Is great, big enough to have all the facilities you could wish for and small enough to join in things with like minded people.

It could be claustrophobic in a very small village with few facilities. We also downsized, but were careful not to go too small. When you are both at home together you do need space to 'escape'!

The south west offers you many options, so you need to narrow it down to location and amenities. The size of the house and garden is less important because you have the countryside and the seaside on your doorstep for outings. Village cottages can be attractive: small is cosy and quaint, but just check they have enough natural light.
I'm sure you'll make friends once you settle in. The area attracts many retirees from all over the country so you won't be the first or the last!

We decided in our late 40s to move to the Lake District as we had holidayed here for years. We had already paid off the mortgage so we rented in an area we knew well but kept our home incase it became not the dream life we'd hoped. We moved in an October and the first winter was hard due to the weather and general settling down. We eventually bought our own place nearly 2 years later but not in the town we initially thought would be our ' ideal '. It is hard finding a way in to form friendships but eight years on we are glad we did. When looking to buy especially if you think that quiet village with just a pub or a small shop will be the ' one ' think ahead to needing the doctors,nearby shops, a bus route when your older and perhaps less mobile. The head should rule the heart.

We moved in 2015 from a village in Northamptonshire where we had been for 30 years and had lots of friends to a very small town in North Wales to somewhere which is newer, easier to clean and heat, slightly smaller but still has four bedrooms for when friends and family visit, is two mins walk from a pharmacy, shop, Post office, hair dressers and bus stop, has two pubs and lots of groups to join as well as being in beautiful countryside, only fifteen mins from the sea and 25 from our son and his family. We had looked in other areas nearby but found North Wales the most friendly and much cheaper so it released some money so we can do things we want to. Don't rush your move and, although you won't want to, think about what would happen if your partner died and you were left on your own. Make a list of what you want, you may have to compromise a bit but don't over the things most important to you, you could end up resenting your husband if you move to accommodate his needs and not your own

There is a lot of good advice already about not living at the top of the hill. Live near shops on a bus route where you can get to the chemist and the GP etc when you cannot drive.

However if you explore this webiste you will be able to look at all sorts of papers about downsizing as well as somewhere it has a post code finder for local different types of housing from retirement flats, to sheltered accommodation etc. This research will increase your knowledge of housing options and range of ideas and even if you decide to buy the house you are in you will be happy you explored options and have an excellent idea of what is available locally.

www.housinglin.org.uk/

sorry forgot to paste website.

If your house is in a cul de sac maybe there is an opportunities to get a residents group going? Then you'd get to know the neighbours. We live on a controlled estate with some communal grounds so we have to have a residents association, we also have a facebook group, a summer BBQ and other events. There is a mix of young families and those with grandchildren who have been here for years. It is a nice community, but someone needs to take the initiative.

azie we found that life in a small village was restrictive and lacked variety it can of course also be very clicky and intrusive if you like your privacy. We moved to a small market town and have found that there are lots of different communities depending on what activities you get involved in. There is also the benefit of having everything to hand without having to get the car out for the smallest purchase and the public transport is good. We live on a small development and don't see many neighbours but we get on with our chosen activities some together and some apart and it takes time to build these up. I would opt for a market town every time even though they may not be as pretty as a village and I would buy rather than rent if that were possible - house prices are going up a little bit now.

We have looked after a Father, died at 96 and cleared his house out. We looked after a MIL and spent Two months clearing out the house she lived in ( and all the stuff precious to her) and sorting out a home for her. We have a 96 yr old step MIL and 93 year old FIL living in their own home going from crisis to crisis, and I dread clearing their house out.
The last few years have been a 'eye opener'
So we are downsizing and being realistic. We are looking for somewhere that I would not be afraid of living on my own. ( my MILs nursing home is full of women) We need to be within 20mins of a hospital and the location must be big enough for us to meet people and start over. ( Certainly not a small village with no facilities) Walking distance to the shops would be good although we are computer literate and could internet shop.
I am also going to see that there is no rubbish in my house ( already started clearing) left for my DC to put in a skip or take to a Charity shop.

When I see people my age ( pensioner) moving to remote places with huge gardens I think OH Dear ! who do they think is going to do the garden when they can't do it? We have gone hundreds of miles to cut lawns and hedges all because of our selfish old folks had no planning in place for their old age.
Their mantra has been ' I want to stay here and die in my own home' Never mind that staying there has been at the considerable expense of their own aging children. My Father and my in-laws have had their heads firmly buried in the sand.

We moved some years ago from a cul de sac where we all knew each to a road in the same town where people say hallo but that is it. I still visit and go out with friends from the cul de sac and miss it very much. I was brought up in a village and wouldn't go back there for the reasons that Teetime has mentioned. It might be worth looking online to see what activities are available in the area of your choice - our council for example highlights all sorts of things. However I do think that access to transport is vital as we get older so bus / train or whatever suits is worth considering. Also as others have advised, avoid hills! Good luck

You must consider, as others have mentioned, how you will cope if no longer able to drive. I am assuming that this will be your "last" house and it should not be too large that one person left cannot cope. Doctor, dentist and local hospital should not be far away and you need local shopping. You do not want to live some place where the buses run x3 a day and you are stranded after 5pm.

Do you need a large garden because that has to be maintained and that can be difficult when elderly. I would choose the house first and worry about friends afterwards.

I live in London in a cul de sac and get along very well with 50% of my neighbours- looking after each others houses if on holiday etc.

This is so interesting. EmilyHeartburn thank you for that link, it needs quite a bit of study. Maybe there's a gap in the market for an agency to help us oldies relocate.

I am the mover and shaker in my marriage. We moved to downsize; because we lived backing onto a river and I lived in fear of being flooded out having nearly been; because two of our three children have emigrated; because the city where we lived had become so much busier and because friends had moved away or changed and it felt increasingly lonely there and time to change.

We moved out because we had a good buyer who was on the verge of her first birth and we moved to a holiday let in what I now know is a posh village. This is the Cotswolds! The owner of the holiday let made a big deal about places to live and not to live locally. We have ended up renting in one of her no go areas and I am horribly conscious of this. We had a house we thought we were buying but a combination of a bad survey and the realisation that the house was on a busy road and had a huge garden that was going to require lots of work plus the house needed lots of work, meant we pulled out and ended up in our rental.

As I said before, having mooted the idea of buying the rental, the landlord is now putting the squeeze on, firstly with his named price, secondly by saying if you don't like it, I'm selling anyway so please take two month notice to leave. The landlord also tactically (I think) takes weeks to reply to emails or phone calls, he says he's terribly busy. I don't trust him, DH would trust a serial murderer! What a story folks!

I think I have become terrified now of making the wrong decision. We've looked at so many houses in the last six months and there's always a problem. As a former neighbour and friend once said to me 'houses are on sale because there's something wrong with them, people stay in the nice ones!' A bit of an exaggeration I know but I am amazed at how things have changed in the last ten or so years. House pricing, the effect of London money, the shortage of housing, it is a minefield.

I actually like the town we've moved to a lot. I realise I just don't know what to do now about the situation we're in and faced with silent streets I am terrified we'll make the wrong decision. I am very aware of how vulnerable we are, if one of us gets ill or dies, the other will struggle. DH of course doesn't see this at all, typical man. I must stop going on, I sound like an idiot, I feel like an idiot!

hello br0adwater! Interested in your comments about having difficulty with the local gransnet route. I still haven't mastered it. Could you possibly talk this dunderhead through the steps, please?

My theory, as I get older (and older) is never live where you can't walk to buy a loaf of bread, or catch the bus to do so. Communications not involved with driving are vital.

I would seriously consider lokking for alternative rental accommodation asap, Azie09 - don't be bullied by your landlord into buying a property which you aren't completely happy with. Do you really need 4 bedrooms?

Don't allow yourself to be pressurised by either your OH or the landlord, it's not the end of the world if you have to wait a few more months to make a final decision.

My husband had three strokes out of the blue several years ago, and I was so glad of the fact we were in the range of half an hour from hospital. He survived and did well. I'd never ever live more than 39-40 min from a hospital for there are many conditions when it is crucial to get to a hospital. We originally were 50 miles from a hospital, and many died on the way in the ambulance.
We downsized cos we lived on a hill and the garden was too big. This was good but we didn't think it through properly. We wish we were on a local bus route as we may not always be able to drive. Also I wish we d got a bungalow, as my husband has had to have a replacement hip and knee.
Also, try and suss out the age groups of the neighbours, we are the only older ones in our street. Though they are nice folk, not our age group. It's a huge decision, take your time, we rushed it too much.

Kim I found my local GN by entering in to google..
'Local Gransnet' and my area.
It just came straight up.
If that doesn't work, perhaps email GNHQ for a link to your area

Good luck.