Is this the way to deal with loneliness as you get older?

Cornergran did your friend have her tongue firmly in her cheek do you thin, or was she serious?
I would treat it as a joke and say 'B*gger off! There's no way I could live with you!'
I have one or two close friends I could live with, but I think I'd be too worried that it might be the end of a beautiful friendship.

When my brother offered me a house in the grounds of his family home I said - no thanks, I would be hell to live with

It wouldn't work for me. I like my peace and quiet too much.

I'd just say (firmly!!) that you're so set in your ways after all these years, that you'd be hell to live with!!

I have only one good friend whom I love dearly, but live with her? Absolutely no way! She's far too busy for me! She is never in and I practically have to make an appointment to see her now! She would probably feel exactly the same way. I am a quiet, contemplative soul . Anyway, I live with the greatest friend I am ever likely to have, and wouldn't want to put anyone in his place.

MargaretX & Irma - I haven't got one friend! The thought of the commitment is too much? I can't be the only one ?

Perhaps it depends on background to an extent. If you've been brought up with lots of siblings & large extended family, it might be easier to make sharing accommodation work.

No thank you. DH and I are fine (taken a good few years to train him) but no one else would put up with me I am sure. I like my quiet, we both do, we have our hobbies, interests and our dogs. If I were on my own I would probably be a real dog lady and talk to them. However, on mentioning this to family a while ago when we were talking I was told " neither of us would be allowed to be on our own, we needn't worry about that". I didn't think we were actually, bless them.

We love watching reruns of Golden Girls, but know it's all rose-tinted glasses... but my SIL in Florida was thinking that she might have to do that since my brother died. Luckily she was able to pay off the mortgage as they had mortgage insurance and he died in surgery, so they paid up.

I think today's young professionals might have an easier time with this when they get older. We let to sharers all the time. It's almost like a carry-over from sharing at uni.

We have three girls who have been with us for 7 years and are now in their 30s. None have a live-in boyfriend, and only occasionally does one stay overnight. They seem to be dedicated career women and do all kinds of activities and weekends away together.

Maybe it's what you are used to... I always lived on my own and if DH goes before me and I am fit, I'd be happy in a rural area with just a loving dog and my broadband (is that an oxymoron, rural + broadband?)

I would love it!! I lived with people in my 20's and could do again in my 90's. We could live somewhere we couldn't usually afford. It would have to be spacious though, and you'd need to have meetings to iron out problems. I think loneliness is one of the great problems these days, my mum gets 3 visits a day from carers but never has anyone to speak to (she can't get to lunch clubs etc cos her home won't fit a wheelchair so we're looking elsewhere).
Abbey field houses are lovely & I'd love to go to one, but you do have to be fit, which defeats the point a bit. I suppose people are living longer but are often physically or mentally unwell.

DH's 2 aunts, sisters, lived in the same town and saw each other very often, but didn't share a house. One, retired matron of a London Hospital, was an early bird, very neat and organised. The other stayed up till all hours, was a terrible hoarder and not over tidy. They loved each other dearly, but would probably have been unhappy living together, which they were sensible enough to realise. They were, however, both lucky enough to live independently until a few months before they died, one at 95 and the other at 97, which s obviously not everyone's fate.

Galen, Abbeyfield do run care homes as well, inc. specialist dementia - my mother was in one of these for nearly 8 years and it was very good.

However do agree that it's quite unfair to expect elderly non dementia residents - often by definition to some extent frail or vulnerable - to help care for people with dementia. Social services should not be making this sort of placement, though have to say from all I've heard over many years that social workers can be unbelievably clueless when it comes to dementia.

Flat shares for oldies...why not and why would you need to be friends? Once they get you into a home you get communal living at huge expense and under a regime you have very little say in.......

I am just writing to Brad Pitt to see how he feels about sharing with me, oh and Cesar Milan because my dog needs walking............

I'm a widow and my friends of my own age are all married so this doesn't seem an option. I have my sons living with me and do often feel a female friend would be easier and less messy!

I couldn't actually share my home with anyone, mainly because I don't know anyone also on their own who I could tolerate living with, but live in a retirement community apartment, so there is always a degree of companionship if I want it.

I thought it was a brilliant idea to begin with, but then thought it through and had to admit that it wouldn't suit me.

My big problem with all forms of retirement living arrangements, including Granny Annexes, is that they are just too small and restricted in room numbers. No matter how enjoyable the social arrangements may be, if when I am in my own accommodation I do not have the space to accommodate all my other interests, I am going to be frustrated and unhappy.

My friend did this in the 1990s. 4 of them all widowed due to move into a large house. 1 withdrew just before the closing date and the others agreed to continue but would have to rent out the extra room to university student to make house pay.

i went to visit my friend. The kitchen was great we brewed up and went to sit down in the dining area in another room. Here a housemate followed us, our chatty conversation was not the same with an 'observer'. then next time my friend could not go out with me as she had promised to give this person a lift to her evening class. Turned out only 2 out of 3 had a car and this one didn't. i knew that at this stage this set up would not work.

In fact they had to get this person rehoused and then sell up and then sadly the person died and the 2 left found they were the guardians for her learning disabled daughter!!

My friend went to live in a house of her own but then in 2010 moved into sheltered accommodation. This too had its problems but she got over them and stayed.

My friend is occasionally contacted by university researchers doing research in shared living in older age. She enjoys these interviews.

My friend and we're discussing this yesterday . We shared a flat when we were student nurses with 2 others and 3 of us are still close friends .The other one died sadly a number of years ago. We decided that even though we had a great time then, we couldn't do it now as we are too set in our ways. I would go mad with the one that doesn't get up till lunchtime and she would kill me with my "Tigger" attitude at 7am ! I could possibly live with my sister ( she also is a early bird ) but not my brother,as he would be constantly turning the heating down ! My DD often talks of buying a bigger place and building a granny flat if I am left alone . As long as it's completely self contained I think that's maybe the way forward nowadays . SiL's mother has one with her middle son and I THINK it's being considered by my DS and DiL as her father is widowed and very lonely .Trouble is we all live too long

I've heard of this, probably in the USA. I'm not sure but I think a big house belonged to only one person and the individual rooms were rented to other women, not necessarily friends. There was a communal kitchen and living room. The women were interviewed to make sure they were likely to fit in and were financially able to pay their way. I suppose it was run as a kind of hippy cooperative! I think there was an agreement (albeit informal) to care for each other but not on a 'nursing' basis. I think they had one communal dinner each week. I rather like the idea. It would work as long as the house was close to doctor, dentist, shops and transport services and legal contracts were agreed. If I win the lottery, I might do it! I'll need to start doing the lottery...

No way,I like to watch what I want on TV and do my own thing. The dog is my company and am happy with that.

I once didn't have the choice, I left my abusive husband to live with a friend who owned a very large house. She had been left by her husband, with three small children, and I had my daughter. Yes, it took a while to adapt, but we had an amazing time as well as sad, broke and unhappy ones. As she said - you do need a hug sometimes. We gradually did her house up to accommodate other tenants over a couple of years, and saw many men and women passing through, although some stayed for years. It wasn't that they couldn't afford to live elsewhere - she had a couple of very big flats in that house, as well as just rooms - it was that they wanted to be able to have company when they needed it, until or if they felt able to face living alone. If anything happened to DBH I would go back to her like a shot.

She now has an amazing network of friends all over the country.

Admittedly none of us co-owned her house, and at times we didn't like her rules, but things always got ironed out in the end. In many ways it was like a marriage, that period of adjustment to each other to start with, although it was also like being young again and finding that your flatmate was always nicking your clothes...

Corncob, you can have your own TV in my communal house and you can bring your dog, too! ?

Not sure it would work with 3 people but maybe 4 or 5? I have friends I could live with but I'm not sure they could live with each other. Couldn't cope with all being retired, we'd have to be mixed ages. I have a friend 25 years younger than me who has some physical problems so she could do the cooking and I could do the garden.

The house would have to be big enough for us to get away from each other!

In my dreams I would like a lovely flat in a gated community ...there are some in France, including some women who bought a chateau together, which gives each of them a lot of indiviual space .....but sadly the 'rent' for each flat is 3,000 a MONTH not including maintenance of the grounds .....more than three times my income ! Nothing for it but to buy an old camper van and be an old age traveller ...

Like the lady in the van VL!!!! Perhaps lovely Alan Bennett will allow you to park on his drive!!! DH and I live in a log cabin, built to our specs about five years ago. We sold our 'family home's and managed to achieve this particular downsize. It is very easy to look after, very economical to heat, with the addition of our own water supply and septic tank. It's been the best move we've made apart from our first tiny cottage bought in the very early days a very long time ago!