I've been married to my husband for 23 years. I have 3 daughters from my first marriage and my hubby is a great Dad to them and a good Grandad. I'm 66 and my husband is 68.. My husband worked away at a well known large music festival over several years. He seemed to enjoy the challenge and it did bring in much needed money in the bank. In 2009 he came home unable to string 2 sentences together, I nearly called our GP, in retrospect I wish I had. He seemed a bit better a day later, he had given me a bouquet of flowers, a lovely present and booked us out for dinner on the Saturday night. On the Sunday he asked me to sit down as he wanted to talk to me. He said he wanted to leave me and wanted a divorce. My world fell apart I became hysterical for the first time in my life. I drove my car several villages away and then stopped and phoned him. Over the next weeks I received solicitors letters, I found a solicitor too. I said I didn't want us to part, we talked but he was adamant. He left me alone part of Christmas, he went missing on 2 occasions at night. His elder daughter got married and I wasn't invited. He stayed overnight without telling me, I was supportive to this stepdaughter for many years, as she had lots of problems. I felt so hurt and bewildered. At this time we still shared a bed and sex continued, since I still loved him I saw no reason to turn away. One day my solicitor asked me if H and I were still intimate, I said yes, he had a letter from my H's solicitors to say we had lived apart for 6 months! If ladies you have read this far,thank you. After months of talking trying to make things better, H decided not to leave. I put up with some difficult behaviour fully believing he had suffered some sort of nervous breakdown. Since that time I've had counselling, we have been to Relate together and some of it helped. He says he loves me and I still love him. BUT, from 2009 till now he clearly doesn't want to make love/ have sex with me. We used to be perfect together as lovers and I'm feeling as time goes on more and more upset. I feel so rejected and have tried talking about this with him and get no where. We cuddle, hold hands sometimes kiss. For my 60 Birthday I arranged a lovely trip to Italy, every night he rolled over in bed and said goodnight I hope you sleep well. Romantic settings make no difference. I've asked him to see our GP to have his testosterone levels checked. He hasn't. He did see our GP reluctantly as I made an appointment to check he was not heading for Althziemers like his late Mum. He had a follow up with the mental health nurses, they thought he was suffering from depression linked to bereavement. Then he was sent to see a clinical physiologist, who was useless saw him a few times and that was that. I have invested in the farm diversification to conversions for holiday lets, with the last lump of family money I had put away for my/ our retirement. I now see my retirement stretching out before me as a glorified mrs. mop and housekeeper. I'm at the end of my tether and don't know where to turn. I don't want to just live with him as a friend. Can a lot of his feelings be affected by stress? We have had money problems for years, that's why I invested in the farm hoping that would help. I realise now that in the past he has been economic with the truth about our finances. Might things get better as we now can develop another holiday apartment if he is less stressed about money or am I clutching at straws?
