MIL/IL threads etc.

justwokeup I know I am someone who will "pick up" on a style of posting if I feel someone has been particularly unknd/sharp/ derogatory/accusative towards an obviously upset, often hurting, sometimes apparently distraught poster! That's the point really, there is no need whatsoever to be unkind/rude/just plain nasty, even whilst giving straight talking, honest comment or advice!

I think that rudeness/nastiness needs pointing out to posters; in some cases it has made them think, as they have confirmed to me in PMs and to be fair their style has remained direct but a little more thoughtful!

I pick up on a variety of posters and yes there are some where it happens more frequently; that is about the style of post/content not the poster!

I am not the only one who shows awareness of unfortunate posting to upset posters looking for advice, and am glad that there are others who also pick up on unkindness etc. Generally I do not get any impression that here is any kind of deliberate focus on any individual but I may be wrong or have missed that

Well said Madgran I think you put it much better than I did and probably more kindly.

Rather than criticise what one considers to be a trivial or misguided thread I would tend to be more concerned about an unpleasant poster. I wouldn't be nasty to someone face to face so why do it online?

I mostly see my GC online because they don't live near me but I still feel very close to them and DS sends me lots of photos and messages. A few days ago apparently dil was saying she was going to start knitting and GS replied that 'Grandma is the best knitter' . A small thing but shows he is thinking about me even though we don't see each other often.

I don't have much internet time at the moment, so hope I have time to get this through.

I am a retired medic and have worked in many areas of the world, sometimes in extremely difficult and harsh conditions - so yes I acknowledge that this will have coloured my view of family life back here home. A poster asked if this had indeed made me insensitive (or similar wording) to normal family life, but since retirement I have volunteered for a well known cancer charity and I am often tearful supporting people and relatives in their own homes. And still hopefully capable of showing compassion.

My op was a genuine feeling and I apologise to anyone who felt I was being judgemental. posting and running or anything else. I have been enlightened by many of the posts, confused by others and have reflected on others at length - and generally hope I am a wiser person. I hope to post again when I can.

Incidentally this trip is hedonistic - nothing to do with working.