AIBU to still want some sex in my life?

I'd suggest that he go have a complete physical, including a mental health check. Normally men and women are capable of being sexually active well into old age. (Seriously. I have heard of affairs being carried on in care facilities, and reportedly one of the populations with the highest rates of STIs is older adults. The oldest father on record was in his 90s. He fathered a child with a nurse at the care home where he lived.) If he's having issues in that department they need to be checked. Blood pressure medications, diabetes, and heart disease can all cause a loss of sexual function in men, as can depression.

Just to add he doesn't have impotence. He's well able to get and maintain an erection. He's just decided he's too old and doesn't want to continue. He wants us to hold hands and be affectionate but not in any sexual way. He totally refuses to discuss this with anyone outside our relation ship too

YANBU Sex and intimacy are human needs and age doesn't matter. Tell him you enjoy that part of your relationship and you want it to continue. If he doesn't or won't listen to how his decision effects you, end the relationship.

You're not being unreasonable, but you seem to have come up against the brick wall of men's stubbornness. If he doesn't have erectile dysfunction, but still doesn't want to have sex, sorry but you've really got a problem. At least with ED there are things which can help.

If its "all in his mind" and he just doesn't want to have sex, I'm afraid there isn't a lot that you can do. If this means a lot to you, it might be a deal-breaker . You're still young enough to start again . Good luck !

Could you leave it a month or two and then try again to reignite the sexual side of your relationship?

Did he have a low sex drive all the time you ve known him as you say when you first met you had sex about once a fortnight that’s quite unusually for the start of a relationship He was only 62 when you met and that’s young for a man to go 2 weeks at the start of a relationship you usually can’t get them off you
I think this man doesn’t really have any libido and unless he will talk to someone you are on a hiding to nothing
You will have to decide whether you love him enough to go without sex or whether it’s time to start again

YANBU, Jeannie. You're as entitled to your needs and feelings as he is to his. But I think BlueBelle hit the proverbial nail on the head - you'll have to decide if it means more to you to be with him or to have a relationship that includes sex. If it's he latter, then, i'm sorry but you may have to move on, imo.

I would have to say to him that intimacy, including intercourse was important to you. Lack of it is jeopardising the relationship. Try to persude him to seek counselling with or without you & or a discussion with a medic. .

Just a thought you say you ve been together 2 years and see each other twice a week Is there any reason for the limited meetings did you mutually agree to only seeing each other twice a week, which for two people in love is quite brief. Does he stay over at yours or you his? Do you ever go to his house?
You say you don’t think he’s cheating but can you be sure as you re not with him very much I think you need to be asking yourself many more questions as this doesn’t sound like a love affair from what you have written

So it sounds like he just wants to be friends? You don't live together and handholding is sufficient for him. I do wonder if you are looking for a deeper relationship then the message he is sending is that he does not. Is he trying to let you down gently?

I would wonder what this man's past life has been. Married? Children? Long time single? This gentleman doesn't for some reason seem very enthusiastic.

We see each other twice weekly only as he's a psv driver and I'm a nurse so we both have busy work schedules and meet when our shifts allow us to. At the beginning of the relationship we made love but I always had to initiate it and always felt that I was into it a lot more than he was. He has been married 3 times. I've tried to tactfully ask him about previous sex drive but he just says he used to enjoy sex more when he was younger

Jenniegirl I think you ve answered your own question He’s been married and presumably divorced three times

Ask yourself what you are getting out of this twice a week meet up not any sex for sure, not any answers, it doesn’t seem a lot conversation, a bit of hand holding, he refuses to seek any help He’s got to be some major catch to accept all those things
Does he take you out and about, spend any money on you, buy you flowers, walk down the road with his arm round you, We have heard what he doesn’t do but what does he do that attracts you to him ?
You could have another 20/30 years of frustration, for what?

People have different sexual needs. Some have a high sex drive and need frequent sex, others need it less often. There's nothing wrong with someone who doesn't require frequent sex, it's only a problem if a couple's sexual needs are not the same. If this man is content with affection without sex, but you aren't, then you need to be honest and revert to being 'just friends'. Find yourself someone whose appetite matches yours.

I agree with BlueBelle. Even at the start, sex was only once a fortnight and not earth shattering. He doesn't enjoy sex and can live without it and you are the opposite. Unless he has other qualities that make you want to go on with the relationship it's time to say goodbye.

I know what it feels lime to be pressurised for sex when there is no inclunation, In my youth I had a good sex life and produced two children, but with age it diminished to the point of being less than the last thing I'd want to do.
If you really feel the need and it has to be a man. I would allow this man to be the celebate person he wants to be and find someone who will satisfy you.
Sexual appetite is mainly hormone driven and ulimately is to procreate.

Jenniegirl You are far to young to be going forward with this kind of relationship I wonder if his divorces where caused by his indifference to physical contact I would certainly find out and if he won't discuss with you show him the door and get on with your life you have loads of years ahead to enjoy.

I think you have to decide how important this is in your relationship. It's different if he was unable to manage intercourse due to illness etc but seems like he just has a low sex drive. There are obviously other ways to achieve satisfaction than intercourse but I imagine from what you say he is not interested in this.
As momb said try leaving things for a couple of months and try again. If his feelings are the same then it's probably time to move on.

I’m rather surprised by posts that say that if a man is not meeting your sexual needs you should leave him,. Quite often it is the woman who goes off sex are they advocating that she is dumped in the same way, what happened to love.

You're 54 - I was just starting to make up for all my lost years of repressed adolescence and unhappy first marriage at that age.
If I were you I would try to find someone whose sex drive matched mine. But be discreet.

David this lady is young, she has only been with the man a short time, they haven’t made any commitment to each other they don’t live together, she only sees him twice a week so if they are far apart in what she is hoping for in a relationship yes she should leave him and the absolute same for a man if the woman is disinterested enough to even talk about it much less seek any help She has just said she’s tried all she can think of for the last six weeks and he obviously is having none of it This man is not for turning so unless she wants to stay in a relationship that is not what she really wants for the rest of her life yes they need to split

If they were married, living together, and he had changed , or was ill or unhappy of course they should stay and work it out

Well, looking back at the op's first post, she does say that this guy tells her he "loves" her. Do you love him, too, Jeannie? Enough to do without the sexual intimacy? I guess that gets back to the question of what's more important to you...Only you can know that.

Just enjoy the friendship, which is what it is, but don't regard him as your 'partner', as he clearly isn't in any true sense of the word.

You both have different expectations of this relationship, so it is not a "partnership" but a friendship. If you want more you may have to look elsewhere. But what you do have sounds positive in many ways.