My 5 year old granddaughter likes to cook... one morning we had stayed over to take her and her little brother on an outing. She was making tea and had made an herbal tea bag selection when she decided to add a bag of liquorice tea from another box to her creation as well to her 2 year old brothers. I have been an amateur herbalist for years and I cringe at feeding little children liquorice root. There is lots on line about this. however, my daughter, a fully trained and licensed dietician, scolded me for interfering, then proceeded to call me a "liar" - several times- when I told my Granddaughter that liquorice can make one "poop-a-lot" thinking of our special day ahead at a public museum with busy washrooms and sometimes less than clean diaper change tables ( liquorice is in fact it is for sore throats but it has effects on the digestive system and has been used for constipation as well- in any case it is an ancient medicine that needs to be used carefully- as it was the little one had to have his diaper changed twice from loose bowels in an hour.) I have long ago ceased to talk about any herb or food with my know-it-all career focused daughter. I keep very quiet and would rather be happy then be right as Dr. Phil shares daily. However, my husband also witnessed this harshly stated accusation of "lying" and "twisting the truth". This is not the first time my daughter has attacked me in front of our grandkids. Last year at this time she threw her birthday gifts back in my face- .. a month later she was on good terms with us. Never apologized. In a phone call yesterday to broche the incident, she now tells me I have lied to her all her life! Sadly I did lie once... I told her if she did not like school in grade one she did not have to go. Who would have thought that this Ivy League Sport Queen full-scholarships individual would still be angry with me all these years later? I could not afford to home school my kids although I wanted to. Now my Granddaughter goes to an overcrowded underfunded public school with about 90 different nationalities and now speaks English with a new lisp! As a teacher in the same region I think my daughter is dismissive of my granddaughters education and this is her way of getting me back! Especially when her and her spouse could afford the best of private education, own many properties and travel 4-5 times a year. I don't care about the liquorice- I am fully respectful of the Parental decision even if I disagree. That adults do not always agree is healthy for kids to see as long as it is done respectfully. However, do I call her out on abusive name calling and risk losing contact with my Grandkids? I have worked hard to suck up a great deal of intolerance and criticism since my Granddaughter was born. But that day I felt my granddaughters eyes burning through me, like I was now suspect and all the stories of leprechauns and elves were all suspect as was the pumpkins we grow, the worm composter she loves to care for with me. My daughter seems to be hunting for ways to keep her small town parents out of her life without looking bad herself. Or do I let it ride and let the entire mess calm down and get swept under the rug as usual. Do I remain Cowardly or Stand up at such sensitive risk?
