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Second marriage issues

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Piperly Fri 31-Jul-20 09:49:53

Good morning dear grandmothers brew. I wonder if you could give me some advice please? I married for the second time 4 years ago after meeting my now husband in a blind date 7 years ago. We hit it off immediately and definitely had a spark. We started living together and I met his 2 grown up children and he met my 3 grown up children and all was well.

Anyway things have changed and I'm feeling very sad. Our sex life in the beginning was amazing and I felt very blessed to have found that in my late 40s. But now it is virtually non existent. My lovely husband just says that's he's 'getting old's and he's sorry but I feel abandoned and unattractive! He says he loves me but there is no affection at all. Just a kiss before he goes out and when he comes in, nothing else!. What can I do to try to get something back? I realise we are not going to be at it like rabbits now. I am 55 and he is 58 But surely it can't all be over just yet? Any tips from you would be very gratefully received. Thank you

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silverlining48 Fri 20-Nov-20 10:13:03

Might be worth starting a new thread faringdon.

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MamaCaz Fri 20-Nov-20 10:30:13

It could simply be natural hormonal changes that have killed his sex drive. It happens to quite a few women, too.
This can lead to totally all avoiding non-sexual closeness, because they lead to the partner wanting more than is on offer.

Once that sexual drive has totally gone, both physically and mentally, you are probably no more likely to reawaken it in that person than you are to 'awaken' it in a pre-pubescent child, and the thought of non-penetrative acts can have become as unpleasant as the full act, regardless of how much that person loves their partner.

It is not a deliberate choice, but no amount of parading around in sexy lingerie - or birthday suit - is going to change that.

Each individual case is different, and obviously it's best that the 'sufferer' is checked out at an early stage to see if there is a clear cause that can be remedied, but that is not always possible.

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