Co-incidence or not?

Lucca
They do say we only have a 3 second concentration rate, and sometimes I find that too long??

Because they don’t read the thread ( “far too busy with better things to do”). Many people seem to see the OP thread starter then reply to that totally ignoring anything else and then disappear again. Weird.

Oopsadaisy1

The OP has replied and mentioned that DH has dementia……..

Why can’t the OPs replies be in Green?

I agree, but why do people just 'jump' in with their own assumptions so quickly?

Oopsadaisy1

The OP has replied and mentioned that DH has dementia……..

Why can’t the OPs replies be in Green?

We have asked for this about 100 times……

Oh, I missed that, then the situation is entirely different. This kind of behaviour is not uncommon when someone has this condition.

I would think that the memory clinic or the psychiatric nurse at your GP practic could advise on how to deal with this. With due respect, unless someone has had experience of this problem in the family, good professional advice is many times more useful than anything we may say.

Why do so many OPs ask advice but only tell us half the story? The OPs first post does not mention that her DH has dementia. Yesterday I responded to another thread where the OP didn't reveal key information until about halfway down the second page.

I used to get besieged by spam emails offering me penis enlargement and Rolex watches, neither of which I'd ever needed or searched for. Fortunately they've stopped now and I only get funeral plans spam.

The OP has replied and mentioned that DH has dementia……..

Why can’t the OPs replies be in Green?

If porn messages include the names of neighbours, attractive or unattractive, then someone in the recipient household has been searching these websites and entering these names.

Nothing to do with wifi, passwords or any technological defect. Stop pretending the elephant isn't in the room. Sit every other adult person in the household down one by one and discuss the matter with them. One of them is responsible.

Why is this something you are afraid to discuss? If lots of porn sites suddenly started appearing in my inbox, or DH's, I would imediately mention it. Why wouldn't you?

I have never received dodgey emails and I get over 50 a day.
It is relatively common for elderly men to lose their inhibitions when dementia strikes which is what the phrase "dirty old man" was intended to convey.
I belive your husband has been looking up inappropriate material online. Time to check his browsing history methinks.
I do get adverts for all sorts of things I have no interest in which my OH is definitely to blame for. In the past week the ads have been for electric cars and generators. Certainly mistargetted. We don't share computers, phones, tablets or email addresses.

BlueBelle

No I ve never had any porn emails I do get some spam but never porn I would imagine someone has been looking at porn to get the spam

I have never looked at porn yet I get spam emails from some very dodgy sites - targeted both at women and men! They go in my junk box and I delete unopened. I but a lot of things online and suspect that my email address gets sold on.

I’m not too worried as my password to my email account is very secure and I don’t appear to have been hacked. When your emails have been hacked I think people in your contact list get strange emails from you asking for money or sending out odd links to sites.

I’ve never heard of one device picking up information from using the same WiFi connection, only when a device has been shared.

You could put a child lock on your husbands device to restrict sites he could go to and I think it also stops him buying things online - a problem for some people with dementia. I think there are also apps which would allow you to look at your husbands browsing history from your device - again something parents do.

Have you looked at Talking Point, a forum on the Alzheimer’s Society website, it’s full of advice from carers looking after pwd ( people with dementia)

When devices share a router it is possible for what comes into the home via that router to affect all the devices which share it. The easiest solution, if your router supports this, is to set up a separate "guest" network then allocate trusted and untrusted devices to these separate networks.

You may find this useful:

askleo.com/protect-computers-local-network/

Scroll down to the video for an overview of what you can do to protect your own devices.

And this short video from BT:

www.bt.com/help/user-guides/bt-whole-home-wi-fi/what-is-guest-network-and-how-do-i-set-it-up-

Jezra I am sorry I didn't notice that you posted both the first message and the later one about dementia - and sorry too that your has had had that devastating diagnosis of dementia - I was replying purely by what you put in your opening post.

You said "I know from talking to friends that most seem to get what they call spam (disgusting) emails from porn sites, dating sites etc. However, I seem to get them and it’s nearly always the same name as our attractive neighbour. " . which did indeed read as though you thought the post was from the neighbour rather than from a porn site. No mention there of dementia.

I don't get spam or porn but my YouTube seems to be linked to DH's. We have our computers in different rooms. It is a bit annoying as his interests are very different from mine. I don't want to be offered all that football or stuff about pre-war warships.

No I ve never had any porn emails I do get some spam but never porn I would imagine someone has been looking at porn to get the spam

Sharing a wifi connection is not likely to be the cause of it. Sharing a computer or other device then possible.

If you’ve ever shopped on the internet or subscribed to a newsletter sooner or later you’ll get spam. Just tighten up your spam filters and delete them unopened.

Thanks Lucca. Elegran doesn’t seem to have read my further input on this thread and she seems to think that the emails are originating from the neighbour.? No! They are from porn sites which I have said already. I don’t think she has read it properly, just made her own assumptions. Oh dear.
Riverwalk yes you are correct I did post on a different thread earlier. DH’s diagnosis has come in between that post and this one and apparently loss of inhibitions and doing things like I mentioned could be put down to his diagnosis according to the doc. It’s just difficult trying to explain it to people. I’m just making trying to keep a check on his behaviours and wondered
if I received these emails as a result of his activity online or if everyone got them that’s all.

OP.

Elegran,… Jezra IS the OO

Jezra

If you can’t take it seriously then don’t comment Elegran. Dementia and worries around it are serious problems for people who suffer from it and people who have to deal with it.

You started a similar thread a couple of weeks ago - no mention of dementia but did say that your husband had always been eyeing-up other women.

www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/a1300053-Is-this-normal

Jezra This thread is not a worry about dementia. Read the opening post again. There is no mention that the OP's husband has signs of dementia or even that the attractive neighbour does.

She is telling us that she has been receiving spam and/or pornographic emails from someone with the same name as an attractive neighbour, and that this has happened before at their previous home - when she presumably was receiving similar emails from other attractive neighbours or acquaintances.

Note that these emails are from the neighbours, not from her husband. Why are they sending them to her ? That doesn't sound as though her husband is carrying on with them.

If they were enjoying the attention and returning it, they would surely not be including her in the correspondence? And if they were distressed by a bloke with Alzheimers contacting them inappropriately, they would be complaining, not sending HER strange emails.

I get lots of offers of Russian or Asian brides . I quite like borscht so might reply ?

If you can’t take it seriously then don’t comment Elegran. Dementia and worries around it are serious problems for people who suffer from it and people who have to deal with it.

Porn sites send emails out in bulk to lists of all the emails they can get hold of, that is the most likely was that they have your email address.

Do they seem to be from the attractive neighbour? Block her from your emails, then you will have no more from her.

If they are not from her, how do you know that she has anything to do with it? Unless you share your email with your husband, you will not get one another's messages.

If you don't share your passwords with him, why was it that "Our devices share the same wifi and he kept mentioning one of my passwords in conversation which I have changed as a result. "

If you are still not happy about his relationship with this woman, have you asked him (without accusing him of anything until you have more evidence. but with a laugh) something like, "Sharon Blank seems to fancy me - or someone with the same name does, because they keep sending me pornographic emails. Well, I don't fancy her!" If he has a guilty conscience you will soon know.

This is so like a previous thread from someone whose husband with Altzheimers was obsessed with a neighbour that I really can't take it seriously.

I never get porn spam, maybe change your security settings